A/N: A few events took place last night, and I just had to write this. This is in the POV of the main character, and on a whim- I'm pretty much trying to word things as she would herself. It is also based on a true story. Hope you like it! ^-^
DISCLAIMER: You all get the picture. Everything in here belongs to me; even though this is based on real people and events. Everything that does not are things already in existence to this day. Thanks. 3
I stood there in silence. What time was it? 1? 2? 3am? I couldn't tell. You see, in this place- time has no dominion. It is a plain of void; a world of celestial light; a paradise that sees no reason to rush things- for the souls that are brought into here have all of eternity.
I judged things by the sky. I imagined it was late; as the only light that had pierced this everlasting sea of onyx, were the tiny drops radiating off from the crescent moon, and maybe the occasional twinkling of the stars.
I knew that morning probably wouldn't be here to greet us for a few more hours, so I had some time to just relax. To reflect, as I did every night- back upon my life, and everything that had led me here.
She was my light. My beautiful, majestic light.
And for so long, my only real friend amongst so many enemies.
I kicked back onto the smooth, wooden texture of the balcony; my storm-blue eyes fixed on the great, wildflower field before me, a light sigh escaping my lips, as I thought back. Back to when my angel were apart of the mortal realm.
For so long I was tortured. A pained and tortured ghost; left to wander the bitter Earth to pay for what I had done to so many.
I was damned by those in which used to love me; and unforgiven by those that had once comforted me in the times when I myself was weak. A lone shadow of something that used to be held in one of the highest of respects. I was alone, and I knew my reasoning behind it.
It was payment for what I had tried to commit on two girls. One for revenge; and one for the simple pleasure of seeing her cry out in agony and pain. A sick and twisted pleasure for a soul corrupted by the darkness that she used to once laugh at and defeat; locking it away where she thought it could never get out.
How wrong I was.
After my former allies had 'defeated' me for the second time; I was a mass of spirit, as I was told. A phantom, if you will. Without reason or memory; just to float, and thrive on the energy of other spirits that I needed to survive.
And ironically, the soul in which I had weaved myself into- was the very soul that I would end up hurting for revenge.
It's not that I was evil, please don't get me wrong- but simply lost. Corrupted by the element of darkness, and tortured by the chilling breath of heartbreak. A dark, mirror reflection of a spirit crushed, and a heart shattered.
My reign of destruction and terror would soon be halted; placing an end to a so-long, pained afterlife.
I could still remember everything.
Standing between the gates of light or darkness- Ivory or Ebony; awaiting my own fate before the Grim Reaper herself; time seeming to stop for me as she spoke of being honest and bound to that honor while we were here; asking me questions about myself and my life.
I wanted to pass on; I was tired.
I didn't want to stay here in such a place in which had brought to me nothing but misery. A world in which had picked my hopes up, and then dropped them back down, and smashed them like broken glass.
I wished not to remember my life, or who I was right then- I just wanted to be released from this tunnel of nightmares.
But then she called to me. She fought the hands of time themselves- wishing to bid me farewell before my fate was to be decided. I could see the look on her face- her gorgeous eyes nearly glistening with tears, as I myself did not know of what to say.
But I forced myself to speak- only to be overcome with tears of regret, of guilt, and of so much that I had held inside, burying myself in the sleeves of my shirt.
At first she was afraid. Scared of being pushed away, because of what I had done to others before in the past when they tried to help me. But soon we found each other wrapped in a tight, binding hug. Neither one of us wanted to let go.
I held her like a lifeline, fearing that I would somehow lose her if I were to release her from my grasp; and that she would slip away forever. And I couldn't handle that. Not after the feelings that had suddenly burst out from me.
Feelings and warmth that I had stuffed aside, due to the darkness that had taken over my soul after having my heart ripped out from me. I was scared, and just being a coward- backing off when I should have done all of this so long ago.
What came next shocked me beyond anything.
She had confessed what she had held in ever since the first day we met. She had loved me; even after everything I had tried to do; every death I had tried to enforce- she still continued to stand by me- even if it was in silence, and she were there for me in every way that she could be.
The truth is, that I had loved her too. And I was sure to tell her that right then and there.
I confessed my secret, and she only smiled, bringing warmth into my own frozen heart that I had not felt in so long.
When her sweet lips made contact with my own- the darkness seemed to drain out of me- leaving nothing but purity and sheer, silvery light.
The dark had been defeated, and things were finally looking up for this tortured poltergeist.
It was now up to the Reaper. Her choice would seal our fate; my eyes silently pleading for her, even if I were to be condemned into the Ebony gate- that my love could come with me.
I would face anything- even sheer torture itself; if I knew it would keep, and allow her to be by my side. If I knew that it would seal our eternity- then I was all the more willing to go ahead and put myself through hell.
Then it was decided. Death had let us walk into the gates of Ivory as one. I had to sigh with so much relief at that; as she was nearly beaming. When she opened the gates to let us inside, I knew my days of pain were over. I knew that my soiled heart had finally found it's light.
That night we became one. Making love underneath the canopy of stars- just smiling and not saying anything to one another, as our silence said everything.
I knew she were nervous, and I respected that; handling her with great care and delicacy. I was almost scared that my angel would shatter if I even touched her in the wrong way. So I made sure that everything I did present to her was with kindness and warmth- not wanting to hurt the sweet spirit beside me.
I had been with a few others; but never had I experienced such bliss as I had with the one I loved. I never knew that becoming one with the love you have for eternity would be so wonderful. Now I knew exactly what all those songs meant. What every artist was singing about; because it was right here before me.
I knew that what I had shared before was lust; and that this was love. This was my dream, and I knew that when I gazed into her eyes- it was her own as well.
So, now I'm standing here beneath the night sky. It's nothing new. I come out here every night when I can't sleep; which happens quite a lot. I never knew why, but it just did. Even when I was of the living.
I felt like heading inside. It was getting a little cold anyway. I straightened up, my long, black, silken, v-neck dress seeming to dance with the sudden breeze, as I brushed back my somewhat long, locks of red- them almost seeming purple in the moonlight.
Many had said my hair color reminded them of lava- just that bright, exotic shade of volcanic red. I never thought much of it, really, but she had always said it reminded her of something deep and beautiful. Like the glowing of lava flowing down from a mountain- creating almost strings and chains of golden-orange.
She knew how to make me feel special; she did every time I looked at her.
I locked the door and made sure everything was shut off before heading back upstairs. I didn't want anything happening while we were sleeping. I was just cautious about that type of thing. Though not to the point of where I was obsessive about it.
I eventually made my way upstairs, stopping in my tracks, as I gazed upon my love. My beautiful, sleeping love. Goddess, she was gorgeous. I didn't deserve her at all. I mean, she was just so sweet and kind- and I was just a mere, once-pained ghost. So, what did she see in me?
That was a question I asked her all the time. And she always answered me with this:
"You are beautiful; and I have loved you from the start. You're so much more than what you make yourself out to be. So much warmth I can feel from inside. You may say you're a fallen angel, but you're my fallen angel."
Her own locks of light brown seemed to turn into blonde in the moonlight; her green-blue eyes; those in which I would get myself so lost in- were closed. I had to sigh.
What are you dreaming of, Mia? Am I there with you? Sharing every sacred moment of this dream?
A light sigh broke my trance- my angel shifting slightly, reaching out for my pillow; but groaning a bit with discontentment. I guess she wanted to feel me in there with her. I had to shake my head at that. Not out of annoyance, but out of how cute it all was.
I didn't want to wake her, as she looked like she was sleeping peacefully. I didn't want to disturb whatever world she was lost in. But I couldn't help but let a lock of her shoulder-length hair slide through my fingers. She was amazing.
A slight lump began to rise in my throat. She had given up so much for me. Her mortality, her friends, her life in the mortal realm, and her job as a Guardian. And after at one time, I thought she hated me, and I turned away because of it. Yet, she was in love with me the entire time.
Light tears began to find me. Oh, lovely. This again.
I dried them a bit. I was so awful at showing my emotions. I hated to cry; and I only let certain people see my tears. But it's funny- when I do cry, it's usually random, and I normally try to hide it.
And this time was no exception. I mean, I couldn't really be one to blame. Mia had done so much, and it literally brought me into this state thinking of how lucky I had become. How much this wonderful spirit had brought me into seeing the light with just a few words.
Ok, I couldn't hide them anymore. They were beginning to flow like a river almost. Granted, they were happy- but still, I hated crying. I had only cried when she confessed her secret of loving me that day; and maybe a few times after that in private.
I always tried to do this in private. I don't know why. I guess I was ashamed or something. I could never figure that out. All I did know is- I didn't want to wake up Mia; and have her see me like this. Especially after she's in such a state of peace.
I planted myself upon the floor, leaning up against the side of the bed. The side which would normally be my own side to lay in, feeling even fresher tears find me, as I thought about everything. Everything we had been through together. Even before we became a couple.
Bringing my knees to my chest, I lightly wrapped my arms around them- burying my face into the sleeves of my dress; whimpering slightly as I fought the waterworks taking place at this moment.
A gentle and light sigh from above found me; movement being heard, as the bed creaked just a little, a sweet voice calling to me.
"Love?" it called out.
Great. Just what I didn't want to do.
I decided to stay quiet.
"I'm ok, sweetheart. Go back to sleep," I spoke, sniffling just a bit and coughing slightly.
Mia shook her head, crawling over to my own side and poking her head to where I was sitting below.
"You're not all right, don't lie to me. Now, tell me- what's wrong? Why are you sitting here, all curled up like this?" she questioned in her soft and comforting manner.
A sob brought her response. Even at the sound of her voice- I was still brought to tears of joy. Though I again concealed my face in my dress-sleeves.
Mia's expression went to curiosity- reaching down and lightly raising my face to meet her- seeing what I had been trying to hold back from her all this time.
She gasped, "Junsei-sama!" she frowned, her eyes saddening at this.
I was silent.
"Mia-" I managed to get out, again feeling the crystal tears find me, bowing my head towards the ground, locks of red concealing my eyes.
My love had seen enough.
She climbed down beside me; her light purple, satin, lace, sleeveless nightgown hugging her feminine curves, as I felt her arms go around me; the warmth that I had craved all of my life returning to me.
It was like this whenever she held me. She was my rock; my one plain of serenity.
I let myself sob into her arms, my love just holding me and whispering sweet nothings. She always knew how to comfort me. Even if she didn't say anything out loud. Just her presence was enough to soothe me.
"It's ok to cry, Lovie. Please; don't ever feel ashamed to do so with me," Mia cooed, only causing more tears to fall from my eyes.
"I know you still feel guilty about the past; but you shouldn't. I forgave you long ago; and you shouldn't ever feel bad about what doesn't matter anymore," she spoke on.
She heard my sobs start to lighten, glistening pools of storm-blue meeting her own warm, sparkling bluish-green.
She smiled, giggling softly, "Now. No feeling bad, all right? It's like I told you that first night."
I had to laugh at that, drying the last of the tears that had fallen; a light smirk making it's way onto my lips.
"All right. No feeling bad," I got out with a smile.
Mia smirked with a wink, "Good."
I felt myself laugh once more, this time, without the shaking of my voice.
Mia smiled, standing up, and reaching out a hand to me, "Now, Sweets; it's getting late. Let's head back to bed, ok?" she spoke.
I only nodded, reaching out to take it, as I joined her, the two of us sharing a loving hug, before I kicked off the black, fashion boots I wore- tossing them in the corner by the closet. I'd get them in the morning. Right now they were the last things on my mind.
Mia smiled, fluffing her pillow and kicking back onto the bed once again. I removed my white socks- setting them as well by the boots, and pulled the white, down feather comforter and blankets over each other.
I gave a smile to my girlfriend; my love; the one who had saved me from myself; shifting closer and wrapping a protective, but loving arm around her, holding onto her like a lifeline.
Mia only snuggled into this; placing a light kiss upon my pale complexion. I always thought I looked like a corpse- but she never felt that way about me. And that was one of the many things that I loved about her.
I saw my love close her eyes, sighing and laying her head upon my chest- silken locks of light brown brushing up against me as she cleared her throat just a bit.
I closed my own eyes, though not falling asleep; but simply listening to the sounds of my love; taking in everything, and just relaxing in the paradise that existed in this room; in this world; reflecting back onto who I used to be.
Looking back, I still can't believe the things I had done. It shocked me at how cruel and heartless I once was.
I cursed myself for that. For everything I had committed during my time of being mortal, and my time of being a ghost. I hated myself for that, and I always would.
But all of that didn't matter to me now. The past was over and done; my love had said it. I gave a kiss to her silken hair.
She had saved me. She had brought this restless and cruel spirit out of her pain, and given her a new meaning, a new light to hold onto; even though her rays had been cut from her before.
I knew she'd shine on for me, I knew it. And I would never leave, or burn out on her. I was her fallen angel, and she was my majestic light; and together; throughout everything; we had saved each other.
Smiling down, I laid a kiss first upon my angel's cheek, and then to her pale, pink lips, sighing and pulling her closer; speaking in a soft whisper:
Smiling up at the sky one last time; I even gave a silent thanks to the Grim Reaper herself. For it was she that brought to me the eternity that I had so wished for- and the love that had held my heart forever.
~::smiles:: So sweet. ^-^ And yep, Junsei and Mia are actually real people that I once knew; and also as a couple. ^^ So this was all based on a real-life event. ^-^ Now, go and make me a happy JC, and review, won't you? ^^ You know you want to! 3
PS: Oh, yes. In case you are wondering- "sama" is a Japanese word. It means pretty much: best friend, lover; someone in which you hold the highest of honor and respect. ^^ And it is usually used or written after the first name of the person in which you are referring to. Just thought it would be cute to use in the story. ^-^