Chapter 18

Prisoner Transfer

Oh, I HATE prisoner transfers. I can't even begin to say how much I hate them. Horrible, horrible things.

Especially if you have to drive fifty miles to pick up a prisoner that has been sitting in a county jail for more than five days.

Guess what he's going to smell like?


Which is just what my prisoner smells like today, and a whole load of it complete with fixings.

In the middle of summer.

I have the windows in front rolled down just to get fresh air. I almost gagged loading him in the back.

"Ugh!" I look back and glare at the guy sitting in the fiberglass seat behind me. "You REEK!"

He gives me an apologetic glance before looking back out of the window. "Sorry."

I can't close the Plexiglas window that would save my sense of smell. I'm not even that cruel.


We hit a stoplight about a half mile shy of the freeway and the guy next to me has his windows rolled down. Not surprising, his music is blaring and I can feel a headache coming on...

It's not like I can just roll the windows up. Well, I could but I'm not going to. Fresh air is conducive to a healthy lifestyle.

Just as I am at my breaking point, a stiff breeze blows through the car and the guy to my left is downwind. I smile as I hear the music drop to a non- existent level.

I look at him from over my sunglasses as his head swivels in my direction, a look of complete shock on his face.

"Like that, do you?" I ask conversationally. I glance over my shoulder and then look back at him. "There's room for one more..."

The guy pales considerably and I offer an evil smile. Yeah, if I have to suffer, everyone has to suffer.

It's only fair.

Thankfully, it's only about five minutes later that I'm merging onto the freeway. Unfortunately, I can't think of anything to do to keep my mind off of That Smell.

I glance in the rearview mirror at my prisoner.

"How long have you been in there anyway?" I ask over the wind.

He looks up and shrugs.

"Seven days...I think."

Kill me now.

"They let me shower twice." he remarks.

"Did they?" I asked, biting my tongue. "How fortunate."

I wonder if I could fit him in the trunk.

"They gave me a free bar of soap."

Did it come with bleach?

"Did they?" I cough, leaning towards the open window and forcing myself to take deep even breaths to hold my nausea in check.

He nods somewhat enthusiastically. "I even got some little bags of Alkaseltzer for my upset stomach."

Alarm bells go off in my head. Fighting my natural instinct to breath oxygen, I pull my head in and glance at him in the rear-view mirror.

"Your upset stomach?" I ask.

"I get car sick real easy."

Oh hell.


An hour later...

I look up at my Sergeant and wince as he glares at me.

Okay, so shoving the whole bag of Alkaseltzer into the prisoner's mouth after he vomited was not the best idea that I've had...

"Is there any reason WHY there were, no less than, SIXTEEN calls about one of MY units traveling at a high rate of speed down the highway with a prisoner in the back of it?" he barks and I lower my head.

Okay, so 102 might have been a tad excessive.

"Running full lights and siren and yelling profanities over the PA system?"

Traffic was a little heavy.

"And is there ANY reason that there is a lake of vomit in the floorboard of the vehicle, as well as the ENTIRE RIGHT SIDE OF THE VEHICLE?"

He did mention something about car sickness. Honestly, who would've thought the guy had eaten that much today?

"And could you possibly explain to me WHY my Officer is sitting in a chair in front of me in their UNDERWEAR?"

I forgot to close the Plexiglas window. I'll have to call my partner later and have him pick my uniform up off of the highway.

I wonder how far back it landed...

"Well?" he asks and I take a deep breath.

"I can neither confirm, nor deny, these allegations." I reply.

Damn it's cold in here.

I think I'll wait until Monday to ask about that raise.


~A/N- Did I mention that I hate prisoner transfers? I had an incident similar to this. The prisoner had a penchant for getting sick and travel time was approximately one and a half hours. Much to my dismay. Alkaseltzer, unfortunately, had no effect. Story of my life.

Saeger...dude. LOL. Standard is perhaps not the best choice. If it makes you feel ANY better, I ran into a tree my second day of driving.

It wouldn't move.

Be Safe!