I was born to unknown parents in the year 1987, these unknown parents abandoned me in the Canadian wilderness were I was taken in by a family of foxes. I lived in there den during the summer and fall, but when it started to get cold before winter time the fox family decided it would be best for me if they helped me to migrate south for the winter.

The foxes and I set out on a magnificent journey encountering bears and other foxes along the way, and all the time I escaped danger relatively unharmed. We traveled a long time, many weeks of constant travel. I was a burden causing slow travel so we had to accommodate this by traveling longer rather than faster.

Finally we arrived in California; there I was separated from the foxes by an oncoming car, which I narrowly escaped being hit by. A family of rats discovered me that hen took me in to parent me. They decided it would be best for all of us if we hoped aboard a tanker bound for some exotic land.

When the tanker finally pulled into port we were in Africa, a land of poverty. When the rats abandoned me in the middle of the street, I somehow escaped the poverty as a half-monkey witchdoctor picked me up. The half monkey witch doctor took me back to his village deep in the Congo. Here I was submitted to torture and many different styles of witchcraft, until they realized I wasn't the chosen one and that I could not hulkify. Upon discovering this they submitted me too much more voodoo and witchcraft until I was "one" with the animals. Then they released me into the wild.

I stumbled through the rough untravelled jungle for 3 days, on the fourth day I was discovered by a small family of gorillas. They took me in and protected me like a son. Soon after my arrival a family of jaguars attacked the family of gorillas. I was taken prisoner during the battle and I was forced to return with them to their den. In their den I constantly wondered if I would be there next meal or not. After three weeks of staying alive I finally realized I was to learn the jaguar ways in order to learn a newfound respect for them.

After three more weeks a return was finally negotiated by the gorillas, I was returned to my family of gorillas. Only days later I learned of an upcoming battle between the gorillas and the jaguars, with my newfound respect for them I returned to them in order to assist them in there battle.

We ran into the battle in all fury gorillas and jaguars everywhere. But in the middle of the battle a hunter attacked killing three jaguars, two gorillas, and capturing me in a tiny net. The tiny net was enough to keep me subdued for 3 weeks while I was transported to England to be put in an orphanage.

At the English orphanage I was submitted to many different tests to test my literacy, however it was discovered that I was illiterate. They also discovered that I was able to speak some sort of barbaric tongue that not one of the best translators code understand. They figured I had to be French so they sent me to France.

In France I was also unable to be understood, so they sent me to an even more barbaric place, Germany. In Germany my speech was not understood at all. So once again they sent me away.

This time they sent me to the United States, a place were barbaric babble is the number one language. Here, they were finally able to understand my lingo and helped me to form it into proper English, or at least dirty English, the type that all of North America uses (except Quebec). After they taught me how to speak they discovered I was far to kind to be an American so they sent me to Canada. Finally arriving in Canada I was promptly adopted by a small family to which I am still united to this day.