Title: The Cherry Blossom Tree.
Rating: R (Sexual content, violence, self mutilation)
Summary: Sometimes it's better to just hide things. (m/m, Dark themes and slash)
Disclaimer: I own the characters and the story line but this is [b]F I C T I O N[/b] so please don't take this seriously.
Please note: No characters were hurt in the making of this story, how ever by all legal rights the author will not take responsibility for the actions of some members. The actors in this story are professionals and have been trained to perform these stunts. Please do not attempt to re-enact anything you have seen today.
Enjoy the Show.The Cherry Blossom Tree
All suddenly the wind comes so
And Spring is here again;
And the hawthorn quickens with buds of green,
And my heart with buds of pain.
My heart all Winter lay so numb,
The earth so dead and frore,
That I never thought the Spring would come,
Or my heart wake any more.
But Winter's broken and earth has woken,
And the small birds cry again;
And the hawthorn hedge puts forth its buds,
And my heart puts forth its pain. – Rupert Brooks "Song"
It was cold outside; the sky was granite grey, the clouds fat and low in the sky. The leaves on the huge sycamore trees were a golden red colour, flittering violently in the harsh cold wind that whipped through our little town, the huge sycamore trees looked like great plumes of fire against the stormy grey sky, the occasional leaf being ripped from the branches and carried off in the wind with others. Every house looked abandoned from where I sat staring out the window of the classroom, across the schoolyard and out the gates. Everything looked abandoned outside this room, as if the fifteen students and one teacher were all that were left of this place.
In here it was warm and light, sterile building light flooding into every corner of the room and lighting up every table surface, open book and student face. The warmth was far more appealing than the cold wind outside but just thinking about the autumn weather was enough to make my bones ache. I was currently supposed to be reading from this book I had gotten from the library, The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler but the darkness of outside had distracted me until all I could focus on was the cold world that consumed my home town of Washington DC. I didn't know why it seemed more interesting than my book or the class, normally I was very attentive in class but today I was distracted, drawn to the loneliness of outside and repulsed by the crowded situation of the classroom.
I slowly turned my head towards the hissing sound beside me, coming face to face with warm doe shaped brown eyes, trimmed with long dark eyelashes that made the eyes look almost feminine.
"What are you staring at?" Josh whispered to me, frowning slightly.
I shrugged and turned back to my book in no mood to talk to my best friend.
Josh was undoubtedly a distraction when he wanted to be and that could be seen as a good or bad thing. While he could be irritating and determined to get what he wanted, Josh was also a good friend and great listener. He had the most amazingly tanned skin even in the winter and sandy blonde hair which was poker straight, and all different lengths around the bottom of his ears, still maintaining some boyish features but more mature than the curtains he had when he was fourteen. His eyes were a warm chocolate brown colour, kind and soft and full of so much love. There was a lot about Josh that could be considered a distraction, I wasn't even sure why I was friends with him but I was.
"Come on Quinn tell me please?" He begged in a whisper so that the teacher couldn't hear him.
"I was looking at the trees." I answered in a quiet voice before looking at him slowly.
"The trees?" He raised an eyebrow. "Quinn…"
"Mr. Evens, would you care to tell me what you and Mr. Reeves are having a hard time keeping to yourselves?" The Teacher's stern voice made me jump and scoot further down in my seat.
"Oh erm," Josh smiled cheekily at the teacher, his cheeks not even catching the faintest hint of a blush when everyone looked our way. "We were talking about who we think killed Geiger in the book. You see Quinn thinks it was the girl, Cameron but I reckon he accidentally shot himself."
A few sniggers rose from the other students and I squeezed my eyes shut wishing I was dead right about now.
"Very amusing Mr. Evens, see me after class." The teacher sighed and turned away.
"Smart move." I muttered and shook my head so some of my black locks fell into my eyes.
"Glad you think so." Josh sniggered beside me just as the bell rang out loudly. "Wait for me outside would you?"
It was more of a statement than a question as I watched Josh rise from his seat and collect his stuff before heading to the front of the class where our English teacher was waiting. Sighing, I grabbed my scruffy book bag and pulled myself out of my seat, heading out of the classroom quickly with no desire of listening to Josh getting reprimanded again. The hall was darker than the classroom and a lot colder. Students rushed around, slamming locker doors and rushing out into the autumn weather to head home for the weekend. I watched from my position by the wall, feeling uncomfortable without Josh by my side, even my bland colours didn't seem to make me feel like I blended in.
"Okay let's go." Josh announced as he came out of the classroom, his red bag swinging dangerously from his right shoulder as he positioned his favourite DC cap on his head. "You're still coming to mine right?"
I nodded and looked at him. "Why would I go back to mine?"
He shrugged, letting the smile fall from his thin lips slightly.
I hated my home, parents who argued all the time, an older brother who hated me and did everything in his power to make my life miserable, a Father who was constantly drunk and a mother who blamed everyone for her problems. It was like hell on earth for me, black eyes, broken wrists, no food and long lonely nights full of tears and crazed thoughts. I guess it was what I deserved for being such a terrible son, brother and person on a whole. Only Josh seemed to really put up with me, bugging me about everything and talking to me even when I just wanted to be left alone.
He was a real swell guy.
"Let's go to the park." He announced as we wandered down the hall and out into the cold world along with the rest of the students.
"Now?" I asked a little puzzled.
"Yeah." He nodded with certainty and grinned.
"But it's cold." I frowned and shivered as if to prove my point.
"Yeah but it's also very quiet and I don't fancy going home right now." He answered and looked at me. "Come on Quinn, please?"
I sighed and nodded letting him know he had won, he let out a small cheer before practically dragging me across the street towards the park where we had spent most of our childhood. I loved this park, mainly because it was quiet and it was on the edge of the lake where you could watch the ducks and Herons. But I especially loved it in the spring when all the Cherry blossom trees were in full bloom and the edge of the lake and pathways were lined with soft pink all the way up to Jefferson Memorial. Call it girlish if you want but it was something worth living for if you ask me. But today it was cold wet and grey and all I wanted to do was find a warm place to hide and sleep away my existence only this seemed to be Josh's favourite type of weather, mainly because he loved watching the wind send ripples through the water and pull leaves from the branches. I didn't know if it had a significant meaning but to me it just meant he loved life and the bolder things.
"I'm cold." I grumbled and sat down on a park bench, drawing my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around myself tightly.
"That's because you're all skin and bones." He chuckled and sat down beside me, looking barely affected by the harsh weather. "It's not that bad."
I didn't answer. Instead I shivered and pulled my hood over my head trying to find what little warmth I could inside my hoodie and sweater. So I was skinnier than he was, I had always been that way though and he had always been muscularly and healthier. There were so many things about us that were different and it was plain to see them. It never seemed to deter Josh though, he always said it was better that we were different that way we'd have more to talk about and argue about. I had to agree in some way, we did argue a fair bit but rarely were they massive arguments- that barely happened.
I sighed and breathed in deeply, the scent of cold wet air filling my senses just before the cold air hit my lungs chilling my insides to the brink of numbness. Beside me Josh was watching me as if he was waiting for me to do something really out of the norm. He always had this look in his eyes when he was staring at me, this expectant yet longing look which I was unable to figure out. It made me uncomfortable at times, mainly paranoid because I thought I had done something wrong and he was waiting for the chance to yell at me about it. Yet those moments never came and the tension only built inside of me, looking for escape but never getting any because I refused to question his motives.
"We should go." He finally announced and stood up carefully.
"But I thought you wanted to stay here." I frowned and looked up at him through the fading light.
"I changed my mind." He shrugged and smiled lightly helping me off the seat.
"I don't get you some times." I grumbled and pulled my bag onto my shoulder again.
"That's your problem not mine." He chuckled and led the way back to the gravel path.
I followed at a slower pace from his childish jog, listening to the way the wind whipped through the trees and my heavy boots ground the gravel into the wet earth. I watched from my slow pace as Josh bounded around like a four year old obviously loving the cold weather but oblivious to my discomfort of being here and my saddened look as I watched him enjoy himself. He was always happy, always laughing, joking and smiling. I wondered why I couldn't be like that, I wondered why, after so many years of knowing him; Josh's personality hadn't forced me to be like him. But then I always thought about his perfect family and all the reasons he had to smile and my not so perfect family and all the reasons I had to let tears fall and blood be shed.
"Come on Quinn!" He called, smiling happily, strands of his blonde hair flittering under his cap. "I thought you wanted to get home."
"I do." I answered when I was finally by his side. "I just don't feel like running that's all."
"You never feel like anything." He grumbled making me cringe.
Please Josh, not now.
"What' up with you anyway?" He looked at me, his brown eyes clouded over. "I thought your parents had stopped arguing and your brother was leaving you alone."
"They have." I answered quietly, staring down at the wet sidewalk only to avoid his gaze.
"Then what is it?"
Why won't he just leave things be?
"It's nothing." I looked up at him through the mess of my black locks. "I'm fine."
"Yeah, right." He looked away angrily and picked up his pace.
I sighed heavily and picked up my pace to match his speed, I could tell he was sulking, mainly because his head was down and he was walking fast but at least he had dropped the subject even if he now wasn't talking to me. In a way I enjoyed the silence that remained as we walked to his house, but I kept my head down so I could avoid Josh's angry gaze. Inside he simply slammed the door shut and headed up to his room, storming up the stairs on purpose to make me feel guilty. I watched him go from by the door until he was out of view.
I slowly sank to the floor when I heard the door slam and considered leaving and giving him the weekend to cool off. But I knew I wouldn't be doing that and he knew it too so instead I dumped my bag in the corner of the small foyer and headed out again to give him half an hour to sulk.
I didn't have a clue where to go. I only liked it in the spring, that usually gave me the best place to go- the park to see the blossom. I know it's girly, especially coming from a guy who wears dark colours and looks like he's into death and all that stuff but I love cherry blossom, I draw it all the time. The autumn wasn't too bad if it wasn't for the bad winds but at this time of day there was nowhere to go, everywhere was deserted. I was probably better off staying at Josh's after all.
I bet he hasn't even realised I've gone. I thought as I trudged through the cold long the street running behind Josh's house. I probably could make it to the convenience store and back before he's even considered cheering up and stopped sulking.
I made it to the end of the street and carried back on around to Josh's street to complete the circle, I really had no intention of going to the store, too many looking at me and that strange sense of paranoia. I slowed my pace down and began dawdling to make the time between here and me stepping back into Josh's house linger. It worked a little but soon enough I was walking up his drive and letting myself in.
"Where the hell did you go?"