Thirty-Three: The divine ending…
The week had been a very, very long one; it didn't help much that the weather couldn't decide weather to be sunny or cold and windy. Still we got through, it was tough of course, I had a lot of catching up to do, a lot of nerves and hidden fears to face but eventually my nervousness wore off and I began to feel like my normal self-back in my old school, ignoring all the people who dared to talk about me. Josh was there the whole time, silently reassuring me and occasionally giving my hand or shoulders a light squeeze to let me know he was there for me.
But not the week was over, well nearly, technically it was the last class on a Friday. Today the weather had decided to be kind, the sun was out and there was only a small breeze that was more comforting than it was uncomfortable to handle. We were currently sat in English with our books, my eyes trained more on the clock than the book in front of me but I couldn't help it, I wanted so badly to get out of school and spend the weekend in Josh's arms doing all the things we couldn't do in school or during the week.
"You okay?" Josh whispered to me after I looked at the clock for what must have been the twentieth time since class had started.
I nodded and smiled at him reassuringly. "Just anxious to get home."
He smiled giving my hand a squeeze from under the table before going back to his book. I knew Josh was as eager as me to get home, but over the last few months he had been getting better, he wasn't so anxious anymore, he was calm and collected until we were in his room meaning no more getting trapped against the front door anymore. But at the same time that he had slowly grown more patient I had grown much less impatient, and now it was I who needed him, and silently groaned whenever I looked at the clock to see not even five minutes had past.
I jumped when the bell rang out signalling the end of school. It took everything in me not to cry in joy as I stood up a little shakily with Josh, my excitement that the weekend was over on the point of bursting out. Slowly I followed Josh out to the lockers, heading over to mine as he headed over to his, glancing over my shoulder in his direction as I pulled my bag out of my locker and stuffed my books in, shutting the horrible metal door sharply and heading over to where Josh was. He was already waiting for me, a small smirk on his lips as we walked out of the school silently and started heading home.
"I thought it would never end." I breathed a sigh of relief when we were only a block away from Josh's house. "That has to be the worst day ever, not being able to touch you and yet knowing that in only a few short hours we can do what ever we want."
Josh nodded and smiled again holding my hand properly this time seeming, as no one was around to see it. "I know, but see it's over now, we have the whole afternoon to do what we want in my bedroom."
I couldn't help but smile letting him drag me up his drive and into his house, the door slamming shut as we giggled and ran upstairs into his room, him kicking his door shut and me throwing my bag on the floor before we collapsed onto his bed in yet another one of our heated and hungry kisses, his hands pinning mine above my head. I moaned softly as I let his tongue slip into my mouth, rolling my tongue over his as he pressed his body into mine shooting chills down my spine as I felt exactly how excited he was.
Eventually his lips left mine, travelling down to my neck, finding that weak spot over my pulse and biting down gently, sucking on it until it had me moaning and gasping from under him, my hips bucking right into his causing him to moan.
"Josh…" I breathed managing to pull my hands out of his grasp and run them into his hair.
"Want you so much…" He breathed onto my skin, his hands, now free, running down to the hem of my shirt, pushing it up slowly. "Want to feel you…"
I couldn't help but moan, shivering when his soft hands ran up my stomach and chest slowly, pushing my shirt with them exposing me to his deft tongue which instantly came down to lap at my nipples, his teeth grazing them ever so softly but still drove me crazy. I let him pull my t-shirt off, watching as he let it drop to the floor before looking up at him, seeing every single emotion he was feeling right now in his eyes as he looked down at me. Silently, neither of us daring to say a word, he pulled his own shirt off, exposing his tanned skin to me, my body craving to touch him instantly. But before I could do anything he leant down and nibbled at the area right in the middle of my chest. I gasped softly, letting my head fall back and my eyes slide shut as I felt his fingers start their work on my belt and jeans, my own hands running over his naked shoulders as I itched to feel more of him.
"Lift your hips a little." He whispered, looking at me with his warm brown eyes.
I nodded and did as he asked, lifting my hips so he could slide my jeans off slowly before I kicked them off from around my ankles, my eyes never leaving his gaze. A small reassuring flittered across his lips as he took my hands in his, guiding them to his jeans and belt.
I didn't say anything even though I know he was wondering if I was going to hesitate. In truth I was nervous, this would be the first time we'd have ever seen each other completely but the fact was that…well… I loved him and I wanted this as much as he did. Keeping my gaze locked with his I undid his belt and jeans, my hands shaking the whole time, but managing to successfully to undo them and slip his jeans off of his hips. He took over then, slipping his jeans the rest of the way off until he too was left in his boxers looking so beautiful.
I leant up to meet him in the next kiss, both us being caught up in the deep kiss straight away as we slid back down onto the bed, my thighs shifting to cradle his hips so his body was right against mine, the contact making me shiver.
"Are you sure about this?" He murmured, when we had broken the kiss.
I nodded looking at him smiling a little. "Positive, I'm ready for this…besides I'm a teenager, my mind's only meant to be one thing."
He laughed softly kissing me once more before sitting up a little and climbing off the bed, heading for the desk and opening one of the old draws.
"You know I've never done this either Quinn, but well I've done some research…"
I raised my eyebrows in a silent question.
"Well ya know, looked on the Internet and what not, I'm not an expert at this Quinn but I don't want to hurt you." He murmured as he grabbed something from the draw and shut it, wandering back over to me and sitting down between my legs. "I want this to be…"
"Perfect?" I finished for him.
He smiled and nodded, kissing the inside of my thigh lightly before his hands moved to pull my boxers down, moving slowly so that I had time to stop him if I felt I wanted to. I didn't feel like stopping him though, I felt ready, nervous as fuck, but ready. With my boxers finally gone, I couldn't help but blush looking away as Josh looked me over.
"You're beautiful Quinn." He whispered, kissing the inside of my thigh once more before he grabbed the items he had brought with him and held them up for me to see. "Lube and condoms."
I laughed then, though I wasn't sure why, perhaps it was the look on Josh's face, that cheesy grin and his raised eyebrow. He chuckled softly shaking his head a little as he undid the cap to the lube and poured some of it into his hands, I was worried it would be cold, I mean the stuff wasn't exactly a great conductor of heat, but still I watched silently as Josh covered his fingers completely in the clear gel.
"Just relax okay?" He told me one hand resting on the outside of my leg as he guided his fingers down trailing his fingers over my length and further down.
I gasped softly at the sensation, swallowing on my tight throat as I willed my self to stay relaxed, even as I felt his fingers brush over my opening, a small shiver running through me. Closing my eyes I breathed deeply my breath suddenly hitching when I felt one of his fingers slide slowly into me. Instantly I wanted to wriggle away, my body tensing for a second at the intrusion. Of course I felt nothing wrong with what I was feeling, it wasn't unpleasant and nor was it pleasant but I could live with it for now. Opening my eyes again I looked up into Josh's smiling reassuringly at him. He nodded a little, his finger curling against my walls, wriggling a little until a flash of pleasure shot through me making me gasp.
"Bingo." He murmured looking relieved as he continued to press against what ever it was that was making me wriggle and moan in pure bliss.
Before I even realised it, he had his second finger inside of me, twisting and curling them against my spot. There was pain there, not as much as I had expected but still there was pain, enough to make me flinch whenever his scissored his fingers apart. He noticed my discomfort, leaning down to kiss my stomach softly, whispering sweet nothing to me, encouraging me to relax, that everything would be alright soon. I believed him of course; just hearing voice was enough to relax me.
"Okay now for the fun part." Josh murmured after a few minutes, sliding his fingers out of me and sitting up.
I watched as he slid his own boxers off, his own body trembling and I instantly felt comforted by the fact that he too was feeling nervous about this whole thing. Still I couldn't help it as I looked him over realising now more than ever he was beautiful and I loved him, if only I had the words to tell him that. I smiled approvingly when he finally lifted his gaze to mine, a small smile playing on his lips as he grabbed the small packet that had been lying neglected on the bed and opened it.
"It's just in case." He told me when he saw the look on my face showing me the condom. "I want to do this right."
"I know." I replied watching him with pure fascination.
He nodded and rolled the condom on and in that small section of time I wondered if he had done this before because he was acting like a pro. Still I said nothing as he threw the packet into the bin and grabbed that bottle of lube again pouring some more into his hand and stroking it over his length. The sight alone could have made me come, the way his eyes suddenly fluttered shut as he stroked himself slowly, as if he was taking true care in his work. His soft moaning made me whimper though and suddenly found myself sitting up and pulling him down into a desperate and needy kiss, my body shaking with pure need and want.
"Please, Josh… I need you." I breathed against his lips pulling him down as I lay back, his hips once again cradled by my thighs. "Please…"
I felt him nod, his lips attacking mine in a small loving kiss before he braced himself on one hand, the other moving down between our bodies to push my legs up onto his shoulders. I didn't understand it myself but I knew Josh had a bit more of an idea of what to do than I did so I let him do as he pleased, watching face the whole time as he shifted a moved.
"Oh fuck!" I cried out my body jolting as the pain ripped through me, catching me off guard completely. "Josh!"
"Shh… shh… it's all done now…shh." He cooed to me, stroking my hair and kissing me as I whimpered like nothing before.
I groaned as the pain made my stomach and head spin to the point I thought I was going to throw up but slowly it began to dull away, into the pulsing yet dull throb. It still hurt though and my body was still tense but now, as I finally stopped cursing and calmed down I realised that Josh was panting, his body shaking unbelievably as if he was frightened or straining.
"You okay?" He murmured looking down at me in concern.
I nodded swallowing on my dry through as I looked up at him. "What happened?"
He smiled and blushed and didn't answer directly. "Why don't you take a look?"
I was at first confused as he sat up a little, bringing space between out bodies until we got lower down. I blinked as I allowed my vision to trail down his shuddering body until it hit where his erection was meant to be. There though, that was where not only did our bodies meet but became one, and the pain had simply been him entering me.
"If I had done it slowly I would have hurt you for longer, I should have said something I know but if you had tensed then it would have hurt more too." He explained once again leaning back down to kiss me. "I didn't want to hurt you Quinn, please forgive me."
"I'll forgive you only if you start moving." I whispered, my hands sliding into his hair and pulling him into another sensual kiss that made me buzz.
I think he nodded but I wasn't sure as he kissed me one last time before he shifted his weight. As he drew out of me the pain swelled up again and I cringed but not as much as before, I had somewhat expected that to happen and instead of focusing on the pain and silent willed myself to calm. It worked after a few seconds and I even started to enjoy the feeling of Josh being inside of me even if it did feel strange. I smiled as I looked up at him, his cheek flushed in effort and pleasure as he tried his hardest to keep control but I knew he was losing his battle.
"How does it feel?" I asked him.
"Like heaven." He breathed and drew out again. "But now it's your turn."
I didn't even notice the change of angle right until he hit that sweet area that had me screaming straight out, my back arching away from the bed as the refreshing pleasure boiled up and washed right through me.
"Perfect." He whispered, bracing himself again and repeating what he had just done over and over until I was crying his name into the spring air.
Gasping for breath I clung to him, burying my face into his neck and moaning against the skin as he plunged into me, my body shuddering from his touch. I couldn't even begin to describe the pleasure I felt as I writhed under him listening to him moan as if it was the most amazing thing I had ever heard.
"You're so amazing." I whispered, kissing his ear, my body shuddering as already I felt myself growing close.
"So are you." He whispered back, plunging deeper as his hand came down to rest over my length, stroking me in tune with his thrusts.
I moaned, my head falling back as my hips backed up to meet his own and his hand, my body losing the last of its control as the knot inside of me exploded and my orgasm washed through me, making me shudder and writhe.
"Oh god Josh…" I gasped. "I love you!"
Josh reply was close to what I had said, his back arching as he came, his limbs shaking as he thrust into a few more times before finally he collapsed down, still buried inside of me and completely spent.
"I love you too…" He whispered holding me close.
I just smiled and kissed his hair.
"Are you sure it's all out?"
"Good 'cause I don't wanna look like a girl."
"I think you'd make a sexy girl."
Josh burst out laughing beside me and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me down onto the soft pink ground as we collapsed against the tree, staring out over the lake. I was still paranoid about there being pink petals in my hair after all those things can be right bitches to get out. Still I stopped complaining as I lay there with Josh holding me, the last few rays of sun lighting the water up like some heavenly pool of gold and silk. No one else was around making it so peaceful and I sighed in content as we let the silence settle around us for a while.
"What you said earlier, about loving me? Did you really mean it?" Josh finally asked me, his eyes staying on the water.
I smiled and nodded, glancing at him slowly. "I meant it."
A smile broke out onto his lips as he looked at me leaning down to kiss me once lightly.
"I love you too." He replied clearly happy to announce it.
I smiled and nodded looking away as a blush filled my cheeks. "Thank you, and thank you again for everything."
"How'd you mean?" He asked softly.
"I mean for being there for me, for protecting me and caring for me and looking after me when know one would. Thank you for being my friend and not giving up on me even when I had given up on myself, and thank you for showing there is more in this world than hurt and misery." I explained feeling tears prick my eyes as I finally looked at him. "There's you."
For a moment I don't think he understood but then he smiled warmly and lovingly, pulling me close to him again, both of us wrapped up for another chilly night as we lay there…
…Just me and him and the cherry blossom tree.
Big thank you for everyone who read and reviewed this, god I was on the end of my tether by the time I finish this but it was a lot of fun at the same time. Now though I'm moving onto the bigger better things, so please check out The Concrete Trail and The Fairview Secrets and see what ya think.
Thank you again.