Dandelion
I don't know what came over me, but I soon realized I wasn't where I wanted to be. I found myself back at.. Our place. The place where the stranger with the blue eyes truly looked deep into my soul.. And where he had set me free. Or so I thought. But he hadn't set me free. No, he hadn't. Instead he had lured me into an invisible cage, restricting my free will, confusing me even more. But as I stood in front of the running fountain, I found that, as much as I truly wanted to run away and never come back, I could not move an inch. My feet were rooted to the ground. But I knew if my will was truly strong..
Then what was I still doing here? I felt my shoulders slouch, as if someone had just placed a heavy burden upon them. That someone, I realized, was me. I slowly walked over the ledge of the fountain, and sat down, staring at the ground. Did I really want to leave? My mind was screaming 'Yes!' while my heart was.. Confused. This was truly one of the strangest, and most unfamiliar things that I had ever experienced. It didn't feel right, I just wanted it to leave and take my memory of the last few months with it. But somehow.. It felt.. As if this was truly meant to happen. As if I was really meant to be here, confused and torn, with the fountain behind me. I couldn't help but wonder where Tom was, what he was doing. If he was thinking about me, if he was angered by thinking of me. If he ever wanted to see my face again. And I felt my heart sink, as I caught myself thinking of him. Thinking that he never wanted to see me again. I shifted my feet, staring down at my worn out, red converse. Did I want to leave?
Did I really want to leave? Was I going to miss this forsaken town? Was I going to stay up at night, wondering how it was back here, and wishing I were yet still, 17 years old, and still living here? Was I going to miss the pestering, nosy, yet caring folk of Dandelion? Was I going to miss. Tom, and our midnight strolls? I felt a lump appear in my throat, and I found it hard to swallow. Then suddenly I felt my vision get blurry, and my cheeks were once yet again, graced with the bittersweet tears of self-pity. But was it really self- pity? Was I really crying for myself? Was I not also crying for my dreams, my family, my friends? I wiped my tears away in haste, disgusted. It was self-pity. I swore to myself I wouldn't cry for myself, ever. But even as I protested, and refused to let the tears out, they flowed out faster, and now I could not even bring my hand up to wipe them away.
' Leave the lady with her tears for all will be okay. For the lady just let her fears Over-run a good day. Lady, lady, Please don't cry Please O' wipe those tears away. Do not let those sorrowful drops stain Your oh so beautiful face.'
The childish rhyme played repeatedly in my head, and I found that it somehow, soothed me. I found it so strange, since I had hated the song so much, for my father had given me the nursery rhyme tape. I had thought for sure my mother would have burned it, after he left, but instead, she sang it over and over again. As if I would find solace or some kind of peace in them. I never did. But now, as if I had just finally understood the meaning of everything, it comforted me.
After thinking much more into space, and letting a few more tears slip from my irritated eyes, I made my way through the park, finally deciding to leave. Leave it all behind. My memories, the pain, the anger. But then a handsome boy popped into my mind; Tom. I gave out a strangled cry and kicked a stone, sending it away. I felt so angry towards him, but so sorrowful. But I couldn't help but feel a sliver of hope, that maybe, he would come after me. That he would, maybe, still want me. And that, maybe, he was still in love with me.
But I pushed those thoughts aside as I strode through the woods; a shortcut to the parking lot. I figured I could just leave this town, and drive to nowhere. Nowhere being my destination. I just wanted to get out of here; it was such a burden. I walked through the woods, making my way through the towering trees, when suddenly, I heard noises behind me. I stopped, dead in my tracks, then whirled around. The sight only reminded me of the throbbing pain of my broken heart.
"You're leaving," he said simply, his deep blue eyes penetrating through my gaze. I could tell he could see beneath my cold look, and my hate filled eyes. But I didn't care, nonetheless. "What if I am?" I snapped, letting my rage show through. "Where are you going?" he asked, emotion completely non-existent in his voice. "Away," I finally said, before turning away. I walked faster, advancing into a jog. But then I felt a hand grab my elbow and twist me around, making me look into his ocean blue eyes. I could see they were angry, but sad, nonetheless. I tried to jerk my elbow away, but his grasp was tight and firm. If his hand just went a little tighter I knew I was going to get a bruise. "Let me go!" I yelled, struggling to get away. He just looked at me, his gaze getting more intense. "Why are you running away?" He asked, a hint of anger in his voice. "I'm not running away!" I screamed. I finally got him to let go, as I jerked back my arm. "What are you playing at, Iris?" he yelled, making his voice echo all around us. I glared at him, fury in my eyes. "What is there for me to run away from, Tom?!" I yelled. " Look around! There's nothing for me here! Or are you so dense you don't even see that?!" He looked at me, like there were a million things he was struggling to hold back. I turned away and started walking again, only to be blocked by him. "You're being selfish, Iris," he said, his voice was hard and sounded like he was on the verge of losing his temper. I only gave him another hate filled look. "You're being selfish, running away from your problems, leaving your family- " "I have no family!" I yelled. But he continued on. "Maybe not, but you're leaving a mother who loves you." He bit his lip, and doubt clouded his eyes, as if he wanted to say something that he might regret. " If that was all you had to say to me, then you wasted your breath. I know what I'm giving up, and its perfectly fine," I said turning away again. I walked a few yards, when I heard him speak again. "That's not all you're leaving," I heard him say. I stopped, but didn't turn around, as if I was going to look death in the eye. "You're leaving a boy. A boy, on the verge of becoming a man, who's still very much in love with you."
And that's when I knew those were the cause of that clouded look in his eyes. Those were the words he had held back, for so long, it seemed like, as he sighed after speaking the words that had made her freeze. With shock, or was it relief, or even happiness?
"Please don't leave me, Iris. I need you."
I don't know what came over me, but I soon realized I wasn't where I wanted to be. I found myself back at.. Our place. The place where the stranger with the blue eyes truly looked deep into my soul.. And where he had set me free. Or so I thought. But he hadn't set me free. No, he hadn't. Instead he had lured me into an invisible cage, restricting my free will, confusing me even more. But as I stood in front of the running fountain, I found that, as much as I truly wanted to run away and never come back, I could not move an inch. My feet were rooted to the ground. But I knew if my will was truly strong..
Then what was I still doing here? I felt my shoulders slouch, as if someone had just placed a heavy burden upon them. That someone, I realized, was me. I slowly walked over the ledge of the fountain, and sat down, staring at the ground. Did I really want to leave? My mind was screaming 'Yes!' while my heart was.. Confused. This was truly one of the strangest, and most unfamiliar things that I had ever experienced. It didn't feel right, I just wanted it to leave and take my memory of the last few months with it. But somehow.. It felt.. As if this was truly meant to happen. As if I was really meant to be here, confused and torn, with the fountain behind me. I couldn't help but wonder where Tom was, what he was doing. If he was thinking about me, if he was angered by thinking of me. If he ever wanted to see my face again. And I felt my heart sink, as I caught myself thinking of him. Thinking that he never wanted to see me again. I shifted my feet, staring down at my worn out, red converse. Did I want to leave?
Did I really want to leave? Was I going to miss this forsaken town? Was I going to stay up at night, wondering how it was back here, and wishing I were yet still, 17 years old, and still living here? Was I going to miss the pestering, nosy, yet caring folk of Dandelion? Was I going to miss. Tom, and our midnight strolls? I felt a lump appear in my throat, and I found it hard to swallow. Then suddenly I felt my vision get blurry, and my cheeks were once yet again, graced with the bittersweet tears of self-pity. But was it really self- pity? Was I really crying for myself? Was I not also crying for my dreams, my family, my friends? I wiped my tears away in haste, disgusted. It was self-pity. I swore to myself I wouldn't cry for myself, ever. But even as I protested, and refused to let the tears out, they flowed out faster, and now I could not even bring my hand up to wipe them away.
' Leave the lady with her tears for all will be okay. For the lady just let her fears Over-run a good day. Lady, lady, Please don't cry Please O' wipe those tears away. Do not let those sorrowful drops stain Your oh so beautiful face.'
The childish rhyme played repeatedly in my head, and I found that it somehow, soothed me. I found it so strange, since I had hated the song so much, for my father had given me the nursery rhyme tape. I had thought for sure my mother would have burned it, after he left, but instead, she sang it over and over again. As if I would find solace or some kind of peace in them. I never did. But now, as if I had just finally understood the meaning of everything, it comforted me.
After thinking much more into space, and letting a few more tears slip from my irritated eyes, I made my way through the park, finally deciding to leave. Leave it all behind. My memories, the pain, the anger. But then a handsome boy popped into my mind; Tom. I gave out a strangled cry and kicked a stone, sending it away. I felt so angry towards him, but so sorrowful. But I couldn't help but feel a sliver of hope, that maybe, he would come after me. That he would, maybe, still want me. And that, maybe, he was still in love with me.
But I pushed those thoughts aside as I strode through the woods; a shortcut to the parking lot. I figured I could just leave this town, and drive to nowhere. Nowhere being my destination. I just wanted to get out of here; it was such a burden. I walked through the woods, making my way through the towering trees, when suddenly, I heard noises behind me. I stopped, dead in my tracks, then whirled around. The sight only reminded me of the throbbing pain of my broken heart.
"You're leaving," he said simply, his deep blue eyes penetrating through my gaze. I could tell he could see beneath my cold look, and my hate filled eyes. But I didn't care, nonetheless. "What if I am?" I snapped, letting my rage show through. "Where are you going?" he asked, emotion completely non-existent in his voice. "Away," I finally said, before turning away. I walked faster, advancing into a jog. But then I felt a hand grab my elbow and twist me around, making me look into his ocean blue eyes. I could see they were angry, but sad, nonetheless. I tried to jerk my elbow away, but his grasp was tight and firm. If his hand just went a little tighter I knew I was going to get a bruise. "Let me go!" I yelled, struggling to get away. He just looked at me, his gaze getting more intense. "Why are you running away?" He asked, a hint of anger in his voice. "I'm not running away!" I screamed. I finally got him to let go, as I jerked back my arm. "What are you playing at, Iris?" he yelled, making his voice echo all around us. I glared at him, fury in my eyes. "What is there for me to run away from, Tom?!" I yelled. " Look around! There's nothing for me here! Or are you so dense you don't even see that?!" He looked at me, like there were a million things he was struggling to hold back. I turned away and started walking again, only to be blocked by him. "You're being selfish, Iris," he said, his voice was hard and sounded like he was on the verge of losing his temper. I only gave him another hate filled look. "You're being selfish, running away from your problems, leaving your family- " "I have no family!" I yelled. But he continued on. "Maybe not, but you're leaving a mother who loves you." He bit his lip, and doubt clouded his eyes, as if he wanted to say something that he might regret. " If that was all you had to say to me, then you wasted your breath. I know what I'm giving up, and its perfectly fine," I said turning away again. I walked a few yards, when I heard him speak again. "That's not all you're leaving," I heard him say. I stopped, but didn't turn around, as if I was going to look death in the eye. "You're leaving a boy. A boy, on the verge of becoming a man, who's still very much in love with you."
And that's when I knew those were the cause of that clouded look in his eyes. Those were the words he had held back, for so long, it seemed like, as he sighed after speaking the words that had made her freeze. With shock, or was it relief, or even happiness?
"Please don't leave me, Iris. I need you."