Far-off Love of Dreamings
Essay, 250 words
An enigma. Someone I want to know but cannot. Others can, and do, but not me.
You guard yourself from my sight, see me only as an annoyance, a fly that you wish to swat away. And yet you draw me to yourself like a moth to light.
I don't want to be this way. But there's no other way I know to be. I can't get you to teach me, you don't even know I want you to. But no one else can show me.
You were a hope, a far-off pinpoint of light at the end of my tunnel. But you turned out to be a cold, unreachable star in the midnight sky. And the night will never end.
So I watch and wait for you to fall to my earth, so I can see you- the real you and not my pinpoint of light in the sky.
But, at the same time, I hope you never fall. I want you to see the real me, for you to see my soul, but not at the expense of soiling your beauty on my impurities.
The light you give off is enough, I come to realize. If I can never have you at my side, at least I can see your happiness.
And you are happy there in the sky. I would rather you be happy there than unhappily at my side. So stay in the sky and be happy, my love.
While I watch from afar and dream.