Stupid Aliens

A Mockery of Aliens in General

On the 26th of June the aliens attacked earth. It was completely on expected. The first wave of attack came from the death ray satellite that was in orbit. It focused the energy of the sun with a giant magnifying glass. How ever this did them no good because it only saved us from a massive freeze that would have made an evacuation almost impossible. It also helped power the solar panels on the military bases. That was there first mistake.

The second mistake was using the water stream, to try to kill us. Apparently on there world water is a deadly poison. How ever it did no harm to us because of the massive drought we were facing (caused by the death ray). In fact the water was so filled with vitamins and minerals that it was sold in department stores under the disguise of a new health drink. That was the second mistake.

The final and perhaps the most hilarious mistake the aliens made while attacking earth, was the use of the much feared, (at least on their planet), fluff bomb. The bomb had the amazing ability to create marsh mellows form the excess carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. Because of the high gravity on their planet and the lack of a thick atmosphere, the fluff bomb was a deadly weapon, the marshmallow would hit the ground with such force they could destroy any thing in there path. At the same time the marshmallow would destroy the alien atmosphere. How ever on our planet, the idea of marshmallows raining from the sky invoked not fear, but a great deal of laughter. When the marshmallow first started falling many thought they were hallucinating, but every one soon realized the truth when the aliens sent a message to the president. "We will spare your people from the marshmallows if you give us all your gold" the leader of the aliens stated in a world broadcast meant to strike fear into the hearts of all who heard it. It did not go as planned. The first reaction of the humans was disbelief than overwhelming, crippling, almost painful, laughter. In fact the laughing was so bad many of the aliens thought they had won, by driving the inhabitants of earth mad. The military leaders decided (after they recovered) that the best course of action was to encourage massive bonfires, complete with songs and smore's .

The aliens realizing they had lost decided to cut their loses by leaving immediately. Unfortunately for them they took a wrong turn near Pluto and added another thirty years to their journey.

Yeah, I know I'm weird. Please R&R or my weirdness will continue (insert evil laugh).