Chapter Two

You want to know what Hell's like? Well let me tell you. It's simple really. It's waking up with a hangover…

In jail…

And wondering how the hell you got there. But this morning was just getting started…


"Bleeding hell," Nassirudden groaned painfully. "Where the fuck am I, and-" she opened her eyes, quickly snapping them closed at the brutal UV assault she received. She raised her arm, noting to herself how heavy the appendage seemed to be as she shielded her eyes and opened them again, this time a little more cautiously than the last.

"Why am I upside down?"

"That's how you got thrown in here," a voice to the near right of her said. "And I'm glad you're up too, because I'm tired of trying to hold your skirt up."

'Thrown in?' She groaned and rolled to her stomach, fighting the sudden wave of nausea that leveled her to reality as she sat up and rubbed the side of her head. "Where are we?"

"Why, you're in the Charlotte city jail," quipped a man with an obviously fake hick accent. "Where they feed ya breed an water until ya turn bue in the face!"

"Shut up Chuck," snapped the female beside him. "Can't you see Nassi's hung over?"

"I'm not surprised," said Jamie from beside her, her green eyes flickering worriedly. "Are you ok?" she asked quietly, frowning in sympathy when Nassirudden winced.

"Yeah, I'm great."

"Good. Now when do we leave?"


Charlie shrugged. "What? Can't I have an opinion?"

"Not if they're not going to help," Jamie commented dryly.

"What happened last night?" Nassirudden asked as a guard walked past the cell….

Wait a minute…


"What the fuck are we doing in jail?" she hollered, instantly regretting such rashness when the little hammering trolls inside her head decided to work overtime. "Oooooooo….." she fell back to the cot, covering her eyes with her hands as the others around her attempted to explain.

"Don't you remember Tiffany?" Jamie asked. Nassirudden groaned again, this time annoyance and pure hatred for the name resounding across the cell.

"Not that bitch….why did you guys let me talk to her drunk?"

"Well, it wasn't like we had a choice," Chuck said from his seat on the floor. "You had a few mudslides-"

"Which you know you're not supposed to drink, by the way," another voice, this one belonging to a short, mousy-haired woman on the other side of the cell. Nassirudden stuck her tongue out childishly, then rolled over and ignored her.

"What happened next?"

"Well, it's pretty quick from there," Charlie told her, a well-manicured finger tapping her chin thoughtfully. "Tiffany got there and got started on you and you're ex."

"Something about him going back to her," Jamie added. "and when you kissed him, you were kissing her pu-"

"Woah," Nassirudden interrupted, her hand going to her stomach as another wave of nausea hit her full force. "Don't go there. Just…" she gestured for them to continue.

"Well, Amanda tried to get her to go away-"

"But she wouldn't," the mousy girl, Amanda, interrupted. "She kept going on and on and well-"

"You hit her," Charlie finished, then reached over and smacked Chuck in the back of the head. "I don't know why you didn't try to help!"

"Hell I was trying to help, but no one would give me a bucket of water."

"Water?" all four girls asked. "For what?"

"Wet t-shirt contest!"

"Ass…." Nassirudden grumbled as Charlie shook her head and moved to the cot as well. "What happened next?"

"You're ex showed up-"

"Just bloody perfect! One fucked up night, now made worse by the appearance of Mr. Wonderful himself!"

"Anyway, he pulled you two apart-"

"Which nearly got him jumped!" Chuck broke in. "After all, you never break up a cat fight."



"Sorry Nassi," Jamie said, motioning for the others to keep their voices down. "But you tried to hit him, hit Tiffany one more time, then passed out."

"Why are we all in jail though?" Nassi asked. "I know I should be here, but you guys? What did you do?"

"Oh, that's simple. We beat the hell out of the rest of her posse."

Nassirudden ran a hand through her waist length hair, not surprised that it felt like the rest of her.


Another morning, down the drain…

"Jeez, thanks you guys," she finally said. "I owe you one."

"You'd better believe it," Charlie remarked as a banging sounded from the other end of the hallway. "My father is going to freak when he hears about this."

"Oh crap!! I forgot about Mother! She's going to kill me-"

"Long time no see Stargazer…"

'Great,' Nassirudden looked up warily, then groaned as a face she definitely didn't want to see smiled back at her. 'Just great. From ship to shit in forty-five seconds flat.'

"What the fuck do you want?" she replied wearily. "Doing a little sightseeing, or are you bored from protecting the city all day?"

"Why do you have to be such a bitch?" the cop asked angrily. Nassi shrugged.

"Seeing you brings out the best in me, I suppose."

"Why don't you go on Darren?" Jamie demanded. "Stop picking on her! She feels like crap as it is."

"Let him stay," Nassi said, resting her hand on Jamie's shoulder. "Better yet, why don't you come in? I bet I can make it worth your time."

"You weren't willing to make it worth my time when we were together, so why start now?"

"Now that was cold," Chuck commented as Nassirudden glared angrily through the bars. Brown so much like her gray stared back at her, demanding that she make a scene so he could bring up all her old faults.

Waiting to see her riled up so she could cry like she used to.

'Well damn him,' she decided as she fought to stay calm. 'Damn him and his little slut. I hope they catch some tropical STD that makes you foam at the mouth and bleed out the ears. Damn him straight to hell.'

"Go on man, for real," Chuck said in her defense. "You've got the worse timing in the world."

"Actually, I'm supposed to let you all out of here," Darren said, holding up a set of keys for them to see. "Or would you like to stay? It's not the Paris Hilton, but I here it's comfortable in there."

"With you," Charlie commented as Darren opened the doors. "Hell no. Give me Iraq any day, but not your pompous ass."

"Ahh…Charlene. Still trying to be the next Marilyn Monroe? You do know she sucked dic-"

"Please don't make me punch you," Charlie growled, glaring back at his wandering eyes. "I don't give a damn about clocking a cop."

"Me either. It depends on the clocking though."

"Pig," Jamie muttered as she and Amanda left the cell. She, Amanda and Charlie waited on the others to get out, watching Chuck step past the door as Nassirudden stumbled to her feet. The door closed in her face, leaving her locked inside as Darren grinned down at her.

"Oh, did I say you could leave?" he mocked. "You did, after all, attack my girlfriend."

"And who says crooked cops are a myth," Chuck grumbled. "Look, just let her out."

"Not until she says she's sorry."

"But I'm not sorry. Looks like we'll be here all day." She turned away from the door and went back to the cot, lying full across it as her friends argued with Darren from the other side. "Keep it down," she muttered, turning over so you could see her open back from the hallway. "Some of us are in a lot of pain right now."

"You wouldn't be in it if you'd have kept your hands to yourself," Darren reminded her, eyeing her short black dress eagerly.

"Um, just in case you haven't noticed, there's not a mark on me," Nassi reminded him. "But I bet your sweetheart looks like hell."

"She's always looked like hell," Charlie commented, giving an innocent shrug at Darren's glare. "What?"

"Shut the fuck up, or I'll throw the rest of you in here," he threatened. Nassi yawned sleepily, then waved them away.

"If I'm to stay in here, then I want quiet, but if not then let me out so I can go home. Oh, and Darren-" she glanced over her shoulder at him, then shook her head and turned away. "if I'm here unlawfully, I'll be sure to get you fired and jailed for sexual harassment and police brutality, before suing the department for enough money to by the Reds. Fuck the Reds, I want the Cowboys. Yeah, that'll do. I'll let them kick your sorry ass around all day. Might pay you for it, if you're worth the time, which you're not."

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, you know, the unlawful holding of prisoners," Nassi informed him with another yawn. "The one that states that it's a violation of the law to hold any person prisoner that has been set free. Oh, but then again, you were never one to pay attention to laws, especially ones that detailed in statutory rape and other things you weren't interested in obeying."

"Fuck you, you chilly bitch." The groan of metal against metal made her wince, but Nassirudden knew the sound of freedom when she heard it. "Get the fuck out."

Nassi smiled sweetly, swinging her legs off the cot to the floor and taking her time to leave the cell. She stopped a moment to touch his nametag, something she hadn't done in a year before sighing and following her friends down the hallway. She turned just as Amanda disappeared into the main part of the office, a sad look on her face as she shook her head.

"You know Dar, I am sorry," she said, watching as a triumphant smile lit across his face.

"Sorry you're such a prick. You weren't that way with me."

"Yeah well," he yelled just as she walked through the double doors.

"You were always a tease to me."


Once again, ship to shit in forty-five seconds flat. What do I do to deserve that asshole for an ex?

Kill a cat?

Kick a dog?

Hell, run over a priest in a past life and laugh my nutty head off as I sped off to parts unknown?

It's not fair. Why is he such an ass?

Why is he so damned aggravating…

And why do I still miss him…


"Nassi, are you alright?" Jamie asked for the third time this morning. They were all inside Charlie's Jeep, with Chuck riding shotgun and Nassirudden, Jamie and Amanda in the back seats.

Nassirudden nodded her head, then hid her face behind her hands. "I just have a blinding headache, that's all."

"Let me see if I can find some Tylenol." Chuck began his search of the glove compartment, leaving Nassirudden and Jamie to themselves.

"Are you sure you're ok?" Jamie whispered, not surprised when Nassirudden shook her head. "It's Darren, isn't it?"

"I really hate that asshole," Nassirudden growled through her fingers. Jamie nodded in understanding, draping an arm around Nassirudden's shoulders and giving her a soft hug.

"I know."



What would I do without her?

I've known her since 9th grade, when she moved to North Carolina. We had all of our classes together, and since then we've been inseparable.

She introduced me to rock music, something I'm grateful for now. After all, how would I live without my Red Hot Chili Peppers?

She's always been there for me, even when I started going out with Mr. Wonderful after my 16th birthday. And she's here now, after he broke my heart.

No, I'm not ashamed to say it. He did break it.

The only difference is where some girls would cry themselves to sleep at night, I plotted revenge.

I plan on becoming the most successful woman in the world, having a lot of money, and marrying a doctor that looks just like Johnny Depp.

That's the plan anyway.

But I can't help but cry sometimes…

Especially when he looks so happy, and I'm still so miserable…


"Hey, cheer up," Jamie whispered encouragingly. "You don't need him."

"I know that," came Nassirudden's muffled reply.

"Then stop mop-"


All eyes turned to Charlie, who's eyes seemed to be glued to something the side of the road. "What's up?" Chuck asked as Charlie pulled over. Charlie shrugged.

"I don't know. I thought I saw…"

"Saw what?" Amanda asked. Charlie shrugged again, shook her head and pulled back onto the road. "I don't…something green."

"What?" Chuck laughed as everyone else groaned around him. "Are you seeing things again?"

"No you guys!" Charlie glared at them, then smacked Chuck upside the head.

"Oww…" Chuck complained. "You do know that you're why I don't have any sense now, right?"

"I'm serious!" Charlie exclaimed, ignoring Chuck's half hearted joke. "I saw something!"

"It's 6:00 in the morning, there's hardly anyone on this road, and we're a half a mile from Charlotte," Amanda reasoned. "It's understandable for you to be nervous. I hear these roads are haunted."

"Stop that," Jamie replied. "You'll only make it worse."

"I'm not kidding!" Charlie argued as she continued driving. "I saw a man! He was…green. No," she shook her head quickly, as if to dispel the idea. "He was green, but then he wasn't. You know?"

"No, we don't kno-"

"Hey!" Amanda shouted from the back seat, pointing out the back window. "What the hell?"

"See!" Charlie cried. "I told you!"

"She's right you guys!" Amanda replied. "Something's out there, and it's following us!"

"Yeah right," Jamie said. "You guys are nut-Oh shit! Charlie, look out!"

A rabbit hopped out onto the road a few moments later, sniffing delicately at a skid mark in the middle of the road before hopping along it's way.


SF: {::chasing after Silver Fox::} I'm going to kill you, I swear to G-

Silver Fox: Come on! Can't you take a joke?!

SF: No! Not when you're main character is me!!!!!!

Silver Fox: {::throwing an ice shield between them::} Oh, so you've just figured that out? Such a genius.

SF: {::banging on the shield::} You let me in here, you stinking kitsune!

Silver Fox: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

SF: Then stay right there. Where in the hell is the nearest stick? {::grumbles to herself as she searches the stage::}

Silver Fox: Whew! Oh, the main character isn't exactly SF. She's more like a base. Nassirudden doesn't do enough cursing for it to be SF.

SF: {::From backstage::} Oh Silver…

Silver Fox: Yeah?


{::rock flies through the air, smashes through the air and totally destroys shield::}

SF: {::with a metal baseball bat in hand::} You're going to get it now. {::charges up bat::}

Silver Fox: Oh shit! Gotta go! Remember to review!