Why do I care?
.
Why do I care?
What people think?
I am who I am and
Can not be someone else!
Though sometimes I
Wish I could.
.
Why do I care?
About my looks?
My temper?
My pain?
.
I have tried to change
And ease the rage,
That feeds the pain,
But I can't.
.
Why do I care?
If I have friends?
Eventually they will all
Leave and the pain will
Be worse than ever.
.
Why do I care?
If I will ever find love?
It just causes problems
And yet again more pain.
.
Why do I care?
If I am normal or not?
What is normal anyway?
Suicide? Self-mutilation?
Straight A's? Outcast?
Christianity? Atheism?
Is all this normal?
No one knows normal,
I hold the secrets of everyone
And yet no one because I hold
My own as well!
Is that normal?
.
Why do I care?
If people get to know me?
It will only make them see
The real me and they can't see it
They wouldn't like the me
I keep locked inside!
I can't even stand who
I am at times.
.
Why do I care?
It the knife is sharp?
The glass is broken just right?
They are just tools.
Tools used to cut, penetrate,
And release!
.
Why do I care?
If I live or if I die?
Life adds to the
Preexisting pain.
Death would be
A welcomed release!
.
Why do I care?
What people think?
About my looks, temper, and pain?
If I have friends?
If I will ever find love?
If I am normal or not?
If people get to know me?
If the knife is sharp and
The glass is broken just right?
If I live or if I die?
.
Why do I care?
I don't know I just do,
And all I can do is wonder
Why!
.
Some answers could be that.
I live still because my death
Would bring pain to those
Who have helped me ease my own
At one time or another.
.
People I couldn't imaging causing pain to.
If you are reading these answers then
You are one of those people.
I live because of you.
.
I have scars that are deep
And thoughts that are dark enough
To frighten you, and even myself.
Yet I keep them locked away
Deep inside, hidden from prying eyes.
My increasing rage eats at the lock
This is reality not make believe!
I know how to seem like the happiest
Person alive and yet have had times that
I want to die all at the same time.
.
Pathetic? Yes, but that is what I am.
This is who I am .