Once upon a time
I thought I loved you
And that
I couldn't live without you
Even when you hurt me
And tears spilt down my cheeks
I still sent you
My unquestioning
Unconditional love
But after months of pain
And what seemed like years of hurt
I realized I never loved you
Just thought you
Were the best I could ever do
The only one
Who could possibly love
Someone like me
And slowly my hurt
Began to crystallize
In the cavern of my empty soul
And transformed
Into hatred of you
And everyone like you
I swore that I
Would never talk to you again
Mostly because
Of my undying hatred
But partly for fear
That I would run to your embrace
Once again
But my hate, too, began to change
Began to evolve
Until I saw I never really hated you either
I only hated myself
I hated that I let you hurt me
Hated that I was so low
That only you could love
Any small part of me
And though I do not love you now
Just know that I don't hate you either
For wounds will heal
And scars will fade
And in the end
The echoes in my empty soul
Will turn into strains of music
That fill the void
And like the Phoenix
I will be reborn from the ashes
Of a scorched love