Dying Tickles: Part 8

Charles B. Troglodyte was walking down the street in his purple mouse skin/tweed combination pants and baggy polka-dot corn-cob jacket, when he came across an onion that was singing a song that he didn't know.

"Hello Mr. Onion" he said.

The onion seemed displeased for some reason.

"Hey! You bitch! Wha, you think you can just come up and start jazzin on some dude when he be jamming some serious tunes at yo ass? You think that shit is cool? I'm gonna teach yo some manners, boy"

The onion then cut himself up into a tiny little pieces, and Charles was temporarily blinded. When his vision cleared, the onion had gone, and all that remained was a note. It read:

"Martin. I can no longer put up with your constant abusive behavior. I'm leaving you. I'll send for my things."

***

And that, my friends, is what happens when someone tells you to mix two stories together. Fucktard.