A/N: So yeah...it's been a long long while. The only thing I can say is that reality happened. I'm now in my secong year of masters, things are calming down, so I will try finish this story. Thank you for everyone who has supported in those long long long years. This chapter has not been beta-ed so please forgive the spelling and grammatical errors. No flames pls, I know I've been missing for a long time:( It's a short chapter, getting warmed up...
Feilia stared at the baby socks in his palm, a dull ache began to spread from heart until it became so unbearable she could hardly breathe. This was the only item she kept after the miscarriage. It sat quietly on her dressing table for three years. She didn't quite notice its absence since his whirlwind reentrance to her life. But now it had occurred to her, those tiny little socks had been missing since he first appeared in her bedroom.
Her hands shook uncontrollably, she looked up deep into his eyes. Pain and regret was mirrored in his bottomless azure eyes, so different to the usual coldness that lingered there. It shocked her to see such intense emotions in him, it drawn her closer to him wanting to share that pain and sooth his agony.
Her chest was pulled so tight by the pain she was surprised to hear her own voice, "You knew." It was barely a whisper. Memories flooded back, she thought she had forgotten the pain she felt for her loss, and she thought she had healed those wounds. Her vision became blurry as tears welled up threatening to break free. The mother in her was still weeping.
"I knew your every move," he stated simply, his voice thick with unknown emotions.
On the night of her miscarriage, when the news reached him, he lost all control and reason. He desperately wanted to be with her, kill everyone who had ever harmed her. But he was stuck within the cold walls of Warleis, he had never felt such sorrow, it threatened to consume him, destroy him. He mourned for the loss of his first child, pained for the sufferance the child's mother had to endure.
For the first time in his life he hated himself for who he was. He was just a common father and lover he would be able to be by her side, hold her hands in the darkest hour of her life. But he wasn't, his name was smeared across all top 10 wanted list across the world. His deadly reputation sneered back at him, mocking his helplessness. He drowned himself in scotch, whiskey and whatever alcohol he could find.
He fought hard not to care about her, only to fall harder into love with her.
Their hands entwined, the heat coming off from them burnt at the small reminder of what they had lost. No another word was spoken. Feilia drew in a pained breath, lost in his scent as he held her. Finally she found the courage to face the truth that had been hidden for three years.
She was in love him, in love with the devil himself.