Bonjour, guess who is back. that's right it's the one and only. ME. But did I ever really leave? No you say? Oh, you better believe I did! But I came back, as all people must, look the big JC he came back, so I suppose I must as well.
As a freshman, I do not know much of the goings on at the High School. But I figure watching the upper class men, and reading the sacred "Viewer" (also known as 'Shit') will help me figure these things out. Right? Well even if it doesn't I'll pretend I know what I'm actually talking about.
Watching the upper classmen takes very hard work, only the best can do it. It takes work that only those who can stalk and not be seen (or at least pretend they are not seen), you must be able to shift around in the crowd, you must be able to pretend you are cool, and do the cool walk of shame, you must be able to. well just listen ok? So when listening what do I hear? "Man, you pulled my penis so god damn far" Jeeze! What have these seniors been up to?! And did you hear how far? I'd like to get in on some of THAT action. Let's try and listen for another conversation. shall we? "But I invited you into the car pool" "Too bad I'm booting you out" "You can't boot me out, I invited you in" "Sure I can. you're out" Hmm. sounds like trouble. Easy solution to this problem: ride alone and don't invite strangers. See, being a freshman you are able to think of these things! Maybe freshmen are better than the upper classmen! It all makes sense now, we are young and feeble and they are old and rotting, they are afraid of the brilliance of us. Wow, I sure have figured this out.
But let's go on with the lovely school paper, shall we? . Ok, the Viewer has nothing I can learn from, about the upper classmen. It put me to sleep. does that count? The latest issue of the Viewer is even more boring than the last. Whatever will this school do? The only thing I could ever look forward to was the Top Ten's. And this week it put itself to shame (Not that it didn't when it had the top ten things Mounds View missed most from last year and didn't even put the Other Viewer) But seriously, it is lacking in something that could be great.
So I end this saying, if you want to be cool when you are an upper classmen, remember, you are already cool and smarter than the upper class. No worries. Except you, you better make sure you listen to the conversations.