Alarm Clocks Will Cause The Apocalypse

_____________________________________________________

First, The Facts

Most people rely on alarm clocks to wake up in the morning

They tell you the time

Some wake you up by buzzer, some by radio, and some you can choose

They have arms and legs hidden inside their bodies (a little-known fact, I'm told)

I'm usually right, so I'm probably right now

They are evil, as you must know by now (if you use one.)

So, these are the base facts I have chosen to use to show how Alarm Clocks are going to cause the apocalypse. And if they don't do it, some rowdy teens will probably do it. DAMN THOSE ROWDY TEENS HAVE GONE TOO FAR! So, this is what will happen:

STEP 1: In the middle of the night, using their "secret"
arms and legs, the AC's will sneak up on their victim and jam
sleeping pills down their gob. They will also do this to anyone
else in the house that doesn't have their own alarm clock.

STEP 2: NO AC's will go off AT ALL. Every AC (with some
exceptions, there's always rebels) in the entire world will fail
to go off. Only around 15% of people (approx.) will get up.

STEP 3: The stock market will crash, due to practically none
of the employees turning up (as for the CEO's, they could die
and no-one would notice), causing mass looting, crime and an
increase in Satanism for a reason I'll fabricate later.
Eventually everyone will be sacrificing goats, then someone will
start a war (most likely an American president.)

The earth will eventually spin off its axis because of the big
chunks being blown out of its surface. Then four hefty bouncers
will ride in on horses and 'poof', the world will evaporate

PLEASE REVIEW, unless you want me to rip off your head and fill
your internal organs with GummiBears