It Wasn't Worth It

I spent all that time,
Pursuing something impossible.
Now I look back upon those times,
And wonder what was wrong with me.
I don't know why I did it,
But all I know is that it was dumb.
Gallons of tears were shed over those times,
But none of them were remembered by others.
Years of my life were lost,
Yet I can only blame myself.
I see that previous me as dead,
Because it was just a thing of no use.
I was shadowed by
My desire of the unreachable.
I thought that if I wasted enough time on it,
My wish would actually come true.
But now that past is set clearly before me,
I realize that dreams don't come true.
My desire was a burning firm
But now that fire is fuelled by anger.
Anger because I turned weak.
Anger because I changed for the worse.
I was unaware of all that was happening around me,
I only noticed what I wanted.
I didn't realize how wrong I was,
Until reality slapped my in the face today.
Now, I just hope that the future won't be like the past,
Because the past was wasted.
I realize now that
It wasn't worth it.