Is this the place I go to be alone?
The forest is gone from this place
The beach is deserted and I don't find
My inner sacred space anymore
I search and search for something
That no airplane or car can take me to
I search for my faith…for answers
I search to be me once again
Past the horizon, the Summerland lies
The ship of positive thoughts
Could take me there, right now
But I'm terrified to board
Blank pages stare back at me
As I try to plan a new ritual
But everything I write seems a lie
Spoken by a hypocrite, that's me
Why can't I pray anymore?
I never feel up to it, only confused
I want to, but almost forgot how
I need to, but fail for lack of sleep
Where are the caves I revisited
A memory in meditation?
And reversed the outcome to
See myself as the winner?
Where are the stars I'd stare at
Believing them to be glimpses
Of the astral and divinity
But what did I ever know?
I can still see the moon's silver
I want to call to Her, to apologize
I still see the sun, but cannot
Be who I need to be
I know They hear me, somewhere
The words I'm afraid to speak
And I hope I haven't let them down
I hope I can be better
But I miss my mental island and
Memory caves from summer
And my old BOS from autumn
Next to my false flowers from spring
I miss my prayers, I really do
I miss feeling Their presence in my life
But most of all, I miss being me
And I want to start living again
But if I pray tonight, what will I say?
Which deities will I call to?
And how will I trust myself again,
To mind the Rule of Three?