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April 12, 1865:

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The war is finally over! No more fighting, no more gun shots, no more staying up at night praying to God that no lonely solder (white or black) comes in the house at night looking for nourishment. Now we, my mother and two sisters, can't wait for father and brother to finally come home. I hope they come back on my birthday in three days. I'm going to be eighteen. What a great birthday present that would be. We live in Tennessee, right near the north and south border, so it shouldn't take that long a time before they come back home.

My family and I live in this old slave house with five other families. Yes, it's crowded and we get barely any food but anything's better then being a slave again. My name is Korari I was named after my great grandmother who was from Africa. I have a twin sister, her name is Sasha she was named after my great aunt, also from Africa. My younger sister is fifteen and her name is Moshe. We all look more like my mother than my father in a way, we all have chocolate colored eyes, and raven black hair. Father has dark brown eyes, they almost look night black like my brother's. My brother's name is William, he was given a white mans name because when he was born, his master gave him the name. William was born before any of us. Really, he's our half brother. My father had another wife before he ever met mama. However she was killed shortly after giving birth to William. After father's first wife died him and William were both sold to the same plantation owner, which happened rarely. That was when he met mama and had my sisters and I. I was working on the same plantation all my life until the Emancipation Proclamation was passed.

Because of the Emancipation Proclamation President Lincoln passed in 1863, all the slaves in the south have been set free. The whites are so stupid that they don't even realize that the president had no power in the south. I really believe that this president will put an end to all slavery forever.

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April 15, 1865:

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The president is dead! I can't believe it, President Abraham Lincoln was shot and killed on me and my sister's eighteenth birthday. So much for the sixteenth president of the great United States ending slavery for good. Now It's all up to the Vice president (whoever he is, I never really care too much) or even the next president. Only if there was a black president… yea, like that's really going to happen. There's never going to be a black president, no matter what.

It's been three days so far and father and William haven't come back yet. Mama and I are the only ones who haven't lost hope yet. You can tell Moshe and Sasha have lost all hope, they just wont say any thing. The other families in the house could careless, they have their own problems to deal with. Waiting for sons, fathers, and brothers, some more so than others. Some of them probably wont ever be coming back. What am I saying?! Or coarse they're coming back…

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December 6, 1865:

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After eight months of standing on edge, the Thirteenth Amendment has finally been ratified. All blacks are finally free. Yes, we may be free but what do we do now? The whites will still treat us poorly. William says everything will be all right and not to worry about it. However, that's what he's supposed to say he's the head of the family now. After the end of the war, father never came back and William was never the same. The war must have torn his emotions into shreds. He hardly smiles any more; I remember that he used to have a wonder full smile. Some nights, when I'm sure everyone is sleeping, I cry for him. I know that things will never be the same, that still doesn't mean that I can't think about it. William is still to young to have all these responsibilities, he's only twenty-two all though he looks like he's somewhere near fifty. William only has his right arm now, so it's hard for him to get money for the family. We all help out get money so we can just stay in this shack that's not even big enough to fit two families let alone five.

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August 23, 1866:

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The Fourteenth Amendment was passed a few months ago, though it may take years for it to be ratified. It says that all Americans, black or white, were to get equal civil rights no matter of race or color. The problem is that only the white men can vote and ratify it. In the mean time, they passed the Civil Rights Act in order to protect us. However, groups of whites have just organized a group called the 'Ku Klux Klan'. They take blacks during the night and beat them, they even kill them. The authorities do absolutely nothing, but that's to be expected. I hear that most of the members are part of the law and/or have been in the confederate army. What I'm afraid of, is that one of them finding us and taking someone in the house.

The government says that they're helping us, but they must have a different definition of help. There's barely any food, I watch the little children in one of the families. They are slowly starving to death. I dare not look at my self or my sisters. In the past few months, we have gotten less and less food rations. What little money we're 'working' (that's what they call it) for is to be able to live here. The only thing that's keeping me in one piece is that knowing that there can never be any more slavery…

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March 18, 1867:

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They got Moshe, I can't believe it. Why couldn't they have taken me instead. She cam back alive, yes and that I should be grateful for. However, it was at a high price. For God's sake, she's only seventeen. I cried when she told us. She said that she was going for a walk with a boy friend of hers. William approved of him so did mama and Sasha. I, however, didn't like him too much. Whether it was because I was protective of my younger sister, I didn't know. Anyway, her and her friend were walking down the road a little ways from here when a drunken white man walked up to them.

"Hey girly," he said ignoring her friend. "Wanna come wit me?"

"No," she said frightened and looked at her friend who was slowly walking away. She just starred at him as he left, scared as if Hell's Demon himself were after him.

"I don't care if ya color'd, we can sil' have fun," he grabbed Moshe by the arm.

"Please don't," she cried.

"Now, come on, don't want to b' a bad grl' " he dragged her off the road and into the woods…

That's all Moshe would tell us, but we used our imaginations. She was raped by a white man, and because of that there was nothing that could be done. So much for the great U.S. and so much for the useless Civil Rights Acts. All it is a piece of paper, something someone wrote a few words on and called it a law. No one listens to it; it's just a useless piece of paper. Let it and the whole world be damned to eternal Hell…

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July 10 1868:

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The Fourteenth Amendment was actually ratified yesterday, not that it really matters too much. No one's going to listen to it any more then they will the Civil Rights Act. Everyone in the house was very happy, they could now live I peace and not worry about being discriminated. …Right… for some reason, I don't believe that. Even after all the laws that they pass, nothing will really change. Whites will hate blacks, and blacks will hate whites. As I sit and watch the others celebrate, William comes up to me.

"You don't look so happy?" he said to me.

"I think It's pointless," I told him. "We celebrate for something that will never really happen."

"How is that so?" he asked sitting next to me.

"If you think about it, we will never truly be free." I looked at his everlasting emotionless face, and so much pain was evident in my own eyes. "We are not slaves, not in name at least, but we are still treated and act like them."

"Korari, all this that is being done now is not for us, but for our children and then their children and all the other generations to come after. Whether their white or black, it wont matter. The two races will one day live in peace together." I saw the truth in what he said and smiled. Then, for the first time in three long years, I saw his wonderful smile.

"Thank you William," I said and walked over to one of the little children. Maybe things weren't as bad as I thought they were. Then again, maybe I was just fooling my self…

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February 11, 1870:

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It took only one full year for the Fifteenth Amendment to be ratified.. Now William can finally vote, not that it matters much. Not many blacks read or even write. We were lucky, father showed us all how to read and write, even though it was ileagl. The way I see it, if you can't read what your voting for, than why vote at all? It doesn't really matter to me even after the Fifteenth Amendment was ratified, I am a woman and women still can't vote even if they are black.

William said after he voted for the very first time, that it was really nothing. All he did was vote for people he didn't even know or what they did.

"They had to give me this test on how much I knew. They mainly did it to see if I could read and write," he told us after he got home. "When they saw that I was perfect in penmanship, reading, and writing, they saud that I was even better than some of the white folk."

"Did they give the test to any of the whites?" mama asked, though you could tell she already knew the answer.

"No," William said in him emotionless tone of his.

"That's what I thought," mama sighed.

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November 16, 1871:

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The government finally set up a Ku Klux Klan act. It's supposed to outlaw any organizations that 'deny African Americans their rights'. Yea, that one went well, there are still people getting taken in the middle of the night and either killed, beaten, or even raped by dispirit men. People like that are not just going to just stop because someone told them to, it just will not happen. Groups like the KKK aren't likely to give up the power they have because of some law that was written on a piece of paper. But how much I wish they would.

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December 31, 1873:

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It's William's thirtieth birthday and the day before the New Year! Two weeks ago, he announced that he was getting married and was having a child. I'm so happy; I can't believe that I'm going to be an aunt! I hope it's a girl because if it is, William said that I get to name her. If it is a girl, I'm going to name her Magdalena. I always loved that name. If it's a boy, William is going to name him after father, Kiboria Min Kasko. Father had a long name, I know, but we'll just call him Min for short. William's wife is a very nice woman, she both black and white. Her mother was half white and black and her father was black. It's amazing, some people can overcome their differences, and others don't even know what that means.

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September 4, 1875:

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Congress passed another Civil Rights Act, which I think has gotten so old that it's now funny. Now we can have our 'rights' protected in public places. No one's enforcing it though. If I were to walk in to an inn right now, they would probably laugh and show me where the door is. That is, if they felt like being nice. Again, it's just a piece of paper that someone wrote on to make a law.

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October 9, 1877:

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It has been almost twelve years sense the end of the American Civil war. Reconstruction is finally over, but not without it's pain and suffering. This era in history was like all the others, it was just a matter of winning some and losing some. We won our freedom but lost it again to a different name. We won our rights only to have them undefined and not enforced. So many were lost in that war, blacks, whites, northerners, southerners, but it was all in vain. What they fought for had disappeared.

In my option, Reconstruction changed this nation for the worst. If things were done differently, maybe more people would be happier. Perhaps if Lincoln were alive then, we wouldn't have even went threw Reconstruction, but perhaps not. One could have many different views.

My niece, Magdalena, is almost five. She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. She has chocolate colored skin, honey eyes, and long wavy dark brown hair. When she gets older she will be ridiculed about the way she looks. She may be beautiful, but no one will see that, only that she is a mixed bread of white and black. Maybe William was right, this era was for the other generations, not ours. Maybe there will be a time when whites and blacks can live together without persecution. …Just maybe…

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A/N: This story is FICTION! This is not a real diary, only one that a made up because I had a really strange idea. As you have noticed, this takes place during Reconstruction and some of the things in here ARE REAL. Anyway, I hope you tought this was interesting, if not then that's ok. I just came up with this idea a few days ago for no reasion at all. ;}

~VG~