The Sadie Hawkins Day Race

By:Andrew Troy Keller

I've read in the history books that the holiday known as Sadie Hawkins Day was created on November the 15th,1937 by Al Capp,who had done so in strip form only and told the story of Sadie Hawkins,who was the ugliest woman in the small town of Dogpatch,where she was living with her father,Hekzebiah Hawkins,who--out of fear that his spinster daughter would live with him for the rest of his life--had declared a footrace in which all the homely gals in the county would run after the available man--and if they've caught one,that man would have to marry them.

Now,I--for one--am glad that I wasn't able to take part in this whole 'reverse Valentine's Day' thing,but I just happen to know of someone who had no choice,but to go through with it.

His name is Alex Hancock and he was driving his way back to Cleveland,Ohio after he had wrapped up some business in San Francisco,California.

But then,as soon as the car that he was driving in had started to sputter on him,Alex had no choice,but to head into the small Arkansas town of Rosebud and make a pit stop at the local gas station,whose owner had told Alex that he had made a big mistake in stopping at his station on Sadie Hawkins Day.

And then,after he had let out a hearty bit of laughter,Alex was about to ask the gas station owner what he was talking about,only to have the local church bell ring out loud and clear,which--according to the town's male populance--was a sure shot signal that the Sadie Hawkins Day race has offically gotten underway and they've had no choice,but to start running,in order to avoid getting caught by the females.

However,after the gas station owner had taken off,a confused Alex was left behind to wonder what the excitement was all about.

Then suddenly,Alex had turned towards one of the many hills of Arkansas and saw something that was making him want to dive for cover as well,for there were about 70 or so females running down that hill and towards the town full of single men.

And so,after he had took off running away from such an overeager mass,Alex was able to stay one step ahead of all of them.

But that was until the one who was faster than the other females was able to grab him,force him down to the ground and plop herself right on top of him to make sure that he wasn't able to take off again,no matter how hard he had tried to get her off of him.

Then suddenly,as soon as he had stopped struggling and looked at the female who had caught him,the look on Alex's face had changed to that of pure shock,for the one who had caught him was as pretty as an Arizona sunset and as nice as a minister at a church social.

And after Alex had introduced himself to his newfound future bride,she had told him that her name was Charlotte Hodgson and she was happy to had caught him,because her grandmother had told her on that day,she was finally going to nab herself a husband--and sure enough,Alex had turned out to be the one to get caught by her.

And then,after Charlotte had taken Alex to meet her family and he had asked her father for her hand in marriage,Clem Hodgson had realized that even though he's a city slicker,both Alex and Charlotte had fallen in love with each other--and the rules of the Sadie Hawkins Day race had stipulated that if a female was able to catch a single guy,that gal would have to marry him.

In short,Clem Hodgson had given Alex Hancock permission to marry his daughter,Charlotte Hodgson.

And then,after the Sadie Hawkins Day race was finally over and the gas station owner was finally able to fix Alex's car,both Alex and Charlotte had gotten married inside the Hodgson family's own living room with the local minister performing the ceremony and the family and the rest of the town as witnesses to the happy event.

An hour later,while the others were enjoying the wonderful reception,both Alex and Charlotte had sat themselves down on the front porch swing,looked up into the night sky full of stars and noticed how beautiful they were twinkling up there.

And then,after they had turned and looked at each other for a minute or two,both Alex and Charlotte had kissed each other ever so passionately on the lips.

A year later,all of Alex's family and friends had arrived to welcome Charlotte to the City of Cleveland,Ohio at the apartment home of Alex and Charlotte Hodgson-Hancock,where they are still living happily ever after with their dog named Scooter and their three adorable girls,Mindy,Jessica and Sadie.