Sweet Dreams

Ever get the feeling you're not quite in sync with the rest of the world, not just that you're different but that maybe your in the wrong body. No, more than that. Not the wrong body or the wrong place but more like the wrong world or worse, Universe. Well I do, all the time. Everyday I see everyone living out their lives. Sometimes they're happy, sometimes sad but always involved with what's happening to them and around them whilst I do nothing but sit and watch.
Take now. See that man sitting over there talking on his phone? Look how animated he is. My guess is he's some businessman from the city probably waiting for some vital news on his company. Just look at his face. You can just see the way the fear festers and swirls beneath his eyes, that little glint of terror of loosing all he has worked for. Yes he may sound calm and collected but watch his hand. See how tightly it's gripping the phone like that's all that's holding him from slipping into a dark, swirling hole of despair. See that woman over their holding her baby? Look how gently she holds the delicate creature in her arms, her every movement full of care and love. It's so strong you can almost feel it, see it, smell its sweet odour floating from her. All these people around us are totally absorbed in what they're doing, thinking, seeing with hardly a thought for anything else.
That's why I feel out of place. Everyone lives their life where as I sit here, alone and watch it all happen. Not that I'm sad or angry or anything. Then again I never feel anything any more. Not happiness, sadness, anger, fear, nothing. Things were different once but life doesn't stay the same forever does it? Look there goes a couple now. See how tightly they hold hands as if they will never let go, supporting each other without saying a word. The way he leans forward and whispers in her ear sweet words that make a smile spread across her already curled lips as they cling even closer together, two birds huddling up for protection in the eye of the storm.
I was in love once, a long time ago now. He seemed so perfect in everyway and best of all was that he seemed so devoted to me. I can still picture the expression on his face as he held me in his arms, looked into my eyes and told me he loved me with such compassion that I was prepared to do anything for him. I gave him my heart, my life, my soul, everything I ever had or owned was his; a mistake I can never make again. That's life though right? You love, you loose and you live again. Maybe one day I'll feel but for now I'll watch, alone with my dreams.

Yes I know its not too good, was just a random bit so thought I'd put it up. Any advice on the writings general style appreciated.