This little piece was written for a fic challenge issued by a friend of mine. The idea was to start with the line "You want me to what?" and somehow include a cup, a trenchcoat, and a knife.

I apologize for any plotholes that you might come across; I wrote this, in part, to get rid of writer's block, so it's not my best work. Also, on a completely random note, this is something of an AU, if that's possible, in that the characters I use in the story don't belong in this setting. For example, Ailen was originally created for a medieval-type setting. I just decided to throw all my original characters in here to see how they might interact. Call it an exercise in character development.

Anyway, without further ado, on to the story!

Chapter 1: The Obligatory Bar Scene

"You want me to what?" Ailen Teneris slammed her cup down onto the counter, sending some of her drink flying. The bartender gave her a strange look, before deciding that it was in his best interest to ignore this particular customer and her brown-haired companion.

"You really should learn some anger management, Teneris," said companion, more commonly known as Renires Erenae and certain other terms unsuitable for polite company, drawled.

"And this is why your proposition is absolutely ridiculous! It is not humanly possible for someone to stand your company for more than a day without committing first-degree murder!"

"You know, I do have better things to do with my time than spend it with idiots. Believe me when I say that if I had an alternative course of action, I would take it."

Ailen made a strange choking noise before grabbing her glass again and taking a long drink of the contents. In a calmer voice, she remarked, "You have a very strange way of persuading someone to help you, you know that? Last time I checked you weren't supposed to antagonize the person."

Ren smirked, green eyes glinting from behind a pair of glasses. "I can afford to be a jerk. You, on the other hand, can't afford to refuse my proposition. You're out of a job at the moment, I hear."

"Shut up." The raven-haired woman glared at Renires. Although Ailen was loathe to admit it, Erenae had a point. Her last employer, whom she had done some guard work for, had had an unfortunate run-in with the authorities, and she had had difficulty finding work since.

That was, of course, until she had received a call from Renires Erenae, the rather mercenary computer hacker, with a job offer. She had been thrilled about the idea of once again earning a salary, albeit slightly apprehensive about doing business with Ren, who had a reputation as an arrogant, sarcastic cynic. Still, Ailen had assumed that the job would be a short one, and that her contact Erenae would be limited. Which, of course, explained her reaction to Ren's offer of a full time partnership.

"I know this is going to be somewhat hard for you, but do try to think logically for a moment," Renires said, visibly amused by the effect her comment had on her companion. "You'll see that unpleasant as this arrangement may be, it would be mutually beneficial for the both of us. Unless, of course, being broke is your idea of a good time."

Briefly, Ailen entertained the tempting idea of strangling the computer hacker to death, but her sizeable portion of common sense intervened and instead, she replied, "At least have the decency to tell me why you decided to grace me with your presence."

"You happen to be the most competent replacement for my previous colleague around. Although that isn't saying much, considering most of the people in this city have an intelligence quotient approximately equal to that of a goldfish. And that's an insult to the goldfish."

"And for a second there, I thought you might actually make a statement which didn't end with you insulting someone," Ailen snapped caustically. "Ah well, I should have known not to hope for miracles."

Ren chose to ignore the other woman's sarcastic comment. "Are you accepting my offer or not?"

"What kind of profits are we talking, here?"

"We split the pay from every job fifty-fifty. That good enough for you?"

"Fine, Erenae."

"I knew you'd see sense, eventually. Meet me in the alley outside your apartment building a week from now. Same time." Ren pushed her chair back and stood up. She turned to exit, but then stopped, and leaning down, one arm rested on the counter, added, "It's been a pleasure doing business with you." With that, she swept out of the bar, the back of her black trenchcoat billowing behind her.

Ailen stared moodily at the translucent liquid in her cup, applying a number of uncharitable epithets to the previous occupant of the seat beside her. Finally, she drained the cup, slamming it back down with a bang. She glared angrily at the empty glass for several minutes before abruptly leaping up and swearing so loudly that everyone in the room turned to look at her.

"I'll kill you! You left me with the bill!"

***

A week later, at the promised meeting place, Ailen finally had the chance to make good on her threat. Almost immediately after catching sight of the now-familiar sable trenchcoat, she seized the computer hacker's shirt collar and pulled the brown-haired woman's face level with hers (This required Ailen to lean down a bit, as Ren had not been overly blessed in the height department.)

"You…walked…out…and…left…me…the…check!" Ailen hissed, punctuating each word with a small shake. "I should-"

She broke off abruptly as a wad of bills was thrust in her face. "What's this?" she asked, puzzled.

Ren's lip twisted into her trademark, infuriating smirk. "My payment. Please accept my sincerest apologies."

Even when she's paying me back she makes me look like an idiot. Angrily, Ailen snatched the money from Ren's fingers and pocketed it. "Thanks," she ground out grudgingly. "Now that we're through with the pleasantries, do hurry up and speak your piece."

"Eager, aren't we?"

"The sooner we get started, the sooner we get to part ways."

Renires laughed mockingly. "Oh, I'm hurt. Really I am."

"Save it for the idiots, Erenae."

"Well, that would be you, then."

"Erenae! I refuse to enter into another pointless argument with. Now get to the point!"

"Fine." Renires folded her arms leaned against the wall. "I've got a client who'd like to employ us for a robbery job," she said, not bothering to afford her companion a glance. "Said client is willing to pay a considerable sum if we were to help him in obtaining a certain book."

Ailen raised an eyebrow incredulously. "A book," she repeated, still not entirely certain she had heard correctly.

"Yes, Ailen. A book. I don't believe it's possible to express that in smaller words." The dark-haired woman glowered at Renires, but otherwise ignored the slur on her intelligence.

Instead, she asked, "And this employer is willing to pay how much?"

"See for yourself." Ren withdrew a check from one of the pockets of her trenchcoat and tossed it at her partner, who caught it deftly. Ailen's grey eyes widened as she read the amount written in black ink on the paper. She blinked, expecting the figures to have rewritten themselves into a smaller sum when her eyes reopened.

The number remained unchanged.

"For a book? That's absurd!"

Ren snatched the slip from her associate's hands. "That's just half," she said, smirking as she watched Teneris's eyes widen even more. "I made sure he gave us an advance. We get the rest once he gets the book."

"You're not the least bit curious as to why he's willing to pay so much for a book?"

"Why would I be?" Ren asked. "Listen, I wouldn't bat an eyelid if he asked me to get him a pair of magenta boxers and a paper clip so long as he was paying. I'm willing to respect the privacy of anyway who pays me enough."

"Interesting example. I believe you've proved your point. Now, perhaps some more information might be in order? 'Book' is a fairly general description, wouldn't you say?"

"It's small and bound in leather."

"How very specific."

"The sarcasm doesn't suit you," Ren said, shooting a glance at Ailen. "There's a symbol embossed on the cover; it's a family crest, according to my research. The contents are handwritten."

"And just who are we liberating this from?" Ailen inquired.

"The item in question is currently in the possession of one Nea Tivalyn. It's apparently some sort of family heirloom."

"By 'Nea Tivalyn,' you wouldn't mean Cytinea Tivalyn, would you? That's who you mean isn't it," Ailen said glumly upon seeing the smug grin plastered on Ren's face. "There wouldn't be any other Cytinea Tivalyn besides the foreign millionaire who lives in that mansion on the hill, protected by a full complement of guards?"

"No."

"I didn't think so." She sighed. "You realize that I have no experience in the area of infiltration and theft, right? Because, taking into account the level of my practically nonexistent skills in that area, we will probably be lucky if it takes them a whole two minutes to arrest us."

"I'm fully aware of your expertise in the field, Teneris. You're not the type of person suited for anything requiring subtlety."

"By which you mean lying, cheating, and stealing," Ailen muttered.

"Which is why," Ren continued, as if the interruption had not occurred, "I am going to recruit help from someone who does have expertise in this field."

"Oh really," said Ailen. "And who might this help be?"

"You'll just have to wait until you meet him, won't you?"

"Well, now, I'm just trembling with anticipation."

"Wonderful. Now, much as I would enjoy standing around here all night to converse with you, I do believe we should be going." With that, Ren detached herself from the wall and began walking out of the alleyway, while motioning with her hand for Ailen to follow. "My car is parked around the corner."

"You want me to get in a vehicle which you will be driving?" For the second time that night, Ailen raised an eyebrow.

"What, you don't trust me?"

"No," was terse reply.

"My driving skills or just me?"

"Either."

"Good. At least you're not gullible enough to trust a mercenary backstabber like me."

"You're insane."

"I know. I think it might run in the family." Ren continued walking, with Ailen trailing behind her.

Once the two reached the aforementioned automobile, the brown-haired woman sat down behind the steering wheel of the sleek black vehicle while Ailen climbed into the passenger seat. As soon as she slammed the door shut Ren jammed the key into the ignition and started the car.

Ailen was pleased to find that her associate was a perfectly competent driver. Considering her less than favorable luck thus far, Ailen would not have been surprised had Ren driven the car into a tree, laughing maniacally all the while. However, the powers that be had apparently decided that Ailen's life was miserable enough without further misfortune, so the two arrived in good health, with their mode of transportation intact.

Ren parked the car before an old, rundown building in one of the poorer sections of the city. The flickering light of the sole working streetlight provided the only illumination, aside from the celestial kind. Beyond the cracked glass windows of the edifice, inky blackness lay waiting.

"We're recruiting help here?" Ailen asked, eyeing the decrepit structure with no small measure of distaste.

"No," Ren drawled, the sarcasm dripping so heavily from her words that one could almost see it pooling on the black asphalt below. "I just drove out here for no good reason whatsoever." There was a short pause and then, "Of course, you moron!"

"What I meant to imply, Erenae, was not that we drove out here for no reason, but that the reliability of anyone who makes this sort of place their habitation is questionable, at best," Ailen said slowly, with clearly strained calmness.

"My, my. Words with more than four syllables. I'm impressed."

"Would it kill you to at least extend the effort to be civil to me?"

"Probably. If it's any consolation, it's not as if I go out of my way to torment you specifically; I just seem to naturally irritate everyone."

"You know what? It doesn't matter. I'm just going to do my best to ignore the little voice urging me to decapitate you. Let's just try to get this over with as quickly as possible, alright?" Ailen then proceeded to stride up to the entrance and angrily yank the door opening, nearly tearing it off its hinges in the process. Without even a cursory check of the interior, she disappeared inside, still privately fuming about Erenae's attitude.

In retrospect, this was probably not best. Seconds after the black-haired woman's feet stepped over the threshold, there was a soft rustling in the darkness. Ailen reached for her gun, but before her fingers could close around the weapon, she felt the cool metal of a knife blade against her throat.

"If I were you, I'd drop the gun."