I went into that movie, unsure what to expect. I had heard so many different views on it already; mixed views especially from Christians, and I wasn't sure how to take it on. So, I decided to go in with an open mind to the film, erasing the biases that had been formed due to these comments.
I was completely blown away by the film. Something inside of me stirred when I was watching it, something that made me want to just fall on my knees and start thanking Jesus for going through all of that just so that we could be saved. It had me in tears, watching as Jesus was severely beaten, whipped, ridiculed, harrassed, and then nailed to the cross. What he went through, just for us, was so, so undescribable, so wonderous, that it made me wonder how I could not have understood all this before.
In a way perhaps, seeing this film was the answer to a prayer I have been praying for years. Hearing the story of Christ's actions in order to save us was never enough to make me fully understand what he had to suffer through. I needed to see it to fully understand it. And, although there have been other movies made before about this (aka Jesus Christ, Superstar), they never perhaps told the story, nor displayed it in a way that was real enough that I could understand it.
Seeing this movie, for me, opened my eyes. It was so real, I felt so drawn to the movie, like I was right there, experiencing it. During the cruel wippings, the harsh beatings, and the nails being hammered through His flesh, I had to look away. Not because of the grotesquness of the scenes, because that had no effect on me... I had to look away, because it was too much, watching how badly he was tortured, all for me. For every other living person on this earth. And to see how many times I just shrugged that off, made me burst out in tears.
I've grown up being told that I take too much for granted. My parents always tell me I take our lifestyle for grganted, I take how well off we are for granted, and, perhaps I do. It's hard to not take things for granted until you've seen how much worse it can be.
What I find almost saddening though, is the fact that out of everything they accuse me of taking for granted, they never once pointed out the one thing I've taken for granted more than anything; Christ's sacrifice for us. My parents, the big 'super-Christians' never once spotted the one thing which may have been what holds me back most often from completely stepping out in faith. But, it made me realize then, that perhaps I'm not the only one who is taking that for granted.
Coming to that realization, and being made aware of how great a sacrifice Jesus made for us, renewed in me a new strength for following God's plan for my life. When I found out what part of it was, or at least the path that I will be going down, I became so frightened I turned and began to run away from God again. But seeing that brought me strength realizing, if Jesus loved us so much that he was willing to die for us, then I should have no fear of doing what I must do. He made the greatest sacrifice ever, and I'm running away because of fear of ridulement and facing dangers and hardships that many will never have to face. But that could hardly amount to what Jesus went through for us.
I don't know exactly what God has in store for my life, and I don't even know if I will live through it. What I do know is, God will be there helping me through, carrying me, and helping me to suffer those burdens. It's the least I can do in return for what Jesus did for us. And if I do die, I know I'll be going on to a better place. I don't know how much I will suffer through, I don't know how much I'll be tortured, and as I said, I don't even know whether I will live through it. What I do know, is that I am no longer afraid.