This is my first story, and loosely based on my life. Deals with child abuse, self-mutilation, and my personal favorite, unrequited (sort of) love. So without further ado, enjoy, and please review!

 ~*~*Broken home, broken heart*~*


   I woke up at seven AM, in friend's bed, with a pounding head and an upset stomach, and the clothes I had worn the night before still on. Propping myself on my elbows, I looked over and saw that Tina was next to me, still asleep, and her boyfriend Aiden was next to her.  I lowered myself down gently, as not to disturb my aching head, and squeezed my eyes shut to stop the rolling in my stomach, and the spikes pounding at my temples.

   Hung over. Great. This is just what I need, a pounding head, an upset stomach, and the fact hanging over me that I was supposed to be home at eleven last night. This is peachy… I am so gonna get my ass kicked when I get home…

   "Ami?" Aiden sexy deep voice floated over his motionless girlfriend and floated over to me.

  "Ehh…" I croaked. I coughed twice and tried again. "Yeah?"

  "How long you've been up?"

  "About a minute, and I really need to get home." I told him, as I climbed out of Tina's bed, and reaching for my little black bag that held my makeup and jewelry in it. Aiden rose into a sitting position, and looked at me in bewilderment.

  "What…? Why do you have to leave?  It's seven!"

  Looking at my face in the mirror above Tina's alter, I winced when I saw my eyeliner had been smeared all over my face. I ran to Tina's bathroom, grabbed a tissue, and wiped my face to get rid of the offending makeup. Grabbing the eyeliner pencil from my bag, I re-applied it thickly.

  "I repeat," Aiden said coldly, pissed at being ignored, "Why the fuck do you have to leave. It's seven in the morning!!"

  "Exactly! It's seven!" I shot back. "Remember last night when I told you guys that I needed to get home at eleven? Well, it's a little past eleven!" I snapped the compact that I held in my hand shut, after putting on the pale powder to my already pale face. I whirled to face him, sick with fear at what awaited me at home, and pissed off at the world and ready to take it out on him. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me what time it was!? I told you…!" I hissed, and shoved my feet into my black combat boots, not bothering to lace them up. Aiden looked shocked and hurt at this outburst, seeing as I had never talked to him this way.

  "I didn't remember…we were all so drunk we could barely walk! We all forgot!"

  I rubbed my temples, trying to ease the persistent ache rocking in m skull, eroding my control and sanity with it.

  "Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm sorry I snapped, but I'm gonna be in big trouble, ya know?"

  I stepped over the bottle of bourbon and bottle of vodka and the various glasses on the floor. Leaning over the bed, I kissed Tina on the cheek. "Bye, baby. " I whispered as she stirred slightly.

  I looked up at Aiden. "Tell her I left?"

  He nodded. "Yeah, of course. " I smiled gratefully at him, and turned to go.

  "What, no hug for me?" He said, holding out his arms, and grinning like a drunk.  "Fine, if it'll get you to go back to sleep and let me go." I replied, exasperated. I leaned in and gave him the hug he requested, lingering for a few seconds, smelling his hair, relishing in the feel of his warm arms, tasting what I knew could never be mine.  I pulled away, torment adding to the pain in my stomach.

  "Bye." I whispered, and fled the house.


  I tried to take Ami's advice and go back to sleep, but I was wide-awake. I could understand Ami's need to go back home quickly, after all, I had promised my father I would be home at twelve thirty last night, but decided to stay here with Tina.

  Sometimes I just really hate the world. My father is an asshole, my mother totally submissive to him, and my brothers little carbon copies of my father. I'm eighteen, and I go to a crappy community collage three hours away from here, so I only see Tina on the weekends.

 I roll over, and pick up Tina's arm. Cuts and burn cover it, as they do mine. Most of my friends cut, and I'm not really happy about that. I love my friends, we all like the same things, and I understand them.

  Except Ami.

  I don't really understand her. I don't think anyone does, except Elspth, Ryan, and Dom.  She's really shy sometimes, and won't talk, but at other times, she's this ball of energy. She goes outside for ten minutes at a time, and comes back in silent and unmoving.  When we're talking or watching movies, she'll just stare at the wall, detached, or be incredibly intent on what's going on.

 And her depression fits. God, when those hit it seems only Elspth and Dom are the only ones who can her out of them. I don't know really why she's so fragile. I mean, she's pretty enough. She has a nice face, amazing black red hair that is awesomely poofy, large breasts, and a thin frame. Her eyes are kinda large, and brown, and the outside of them covered in black eye shadow and eyeliner. She's nice, she listens, and she cares about Tina almost to a fault.

 "Hey, baby."

  Tina's sleepy voice brought me back to reality. I smiled as she looked up at me with her pretty gray eyes. I leaned in and kissed her softly. It lasted for a few seconds than we broke apart. She looked next to her, where Ami had been sleeping. "Hey, where'd Ami go? I think she got so drunk that you made her stay here because she couldn't walk without weaving." I looked at her and frowned in concentration. "Did I? I don't remember that at all." Tina smiled. "Well, baby, you were pretty out of it yourself." I grinned sheepishly. "Well," I countered,    "How do you remember? You were just as drunk as the rest of us." She laughed.

 "Experience. I've gotten so drunk so many times I'm practically immune now." I shook my head. I hated it when she did drugs or drank or smoked.  "Whatever. Yeah, she had to go. Something about having to get home. I don't really know. She was kinda vague about it." I stretched, and Tina got this glint in her eye.

  "Well," She whispered in my ear as she grabbed the neckline of my shirt and pulled me down for a deep kiss. "I guess I'm glad she left, because I think we need to catch up on certain things…"

  End of chapter one.

 Please, feedback (flames included) would be excellent. Thank you!

  ~*Miss Rowen*~