A donkey asked me earlier to tell a story to her band.

I said 'My dear old ass, I think you're getting out of hand.

Look at them! They're ravished! They are quite wasting away.

They've been whacking penguins for a dozen and a day.'

'I'll give all the sheeps you want at a very gracious price.'

Tempted, I stopped in my tracks... It really would be nice.

The thought of all those hairy pigs all living in with me...

But I hate the way they never even THINK of making tea.

'No' I said, resolve in place, 'I just can't spare the lamb.

The door is coming home today to have it with the jam.'

And striding from the grumping mule I gave a little kick.

To think that all this fuss was over tails, it made me sick.

She wined and kicked the dog about, and cursed an unseen mouse,

(Unnoticed, God knows how... It had grown bigger than my house)

The mongrel, sick of all this pith, bit on the mule's old bag.

'OW!' came rattling through the halls, and made the mongoose sag.

'What's all this noise?' he snorted forth, his monocle a-glinting,

It pierced my sight, a furious light, and set me off a-squinting,

'I'm sorry, sir,' I said in earnest, 'but you'll have to speak up louder.

You see, this Earnest guy has eaten lots of filthy chowder.'

I picked some bacon from my ear and climbed out of his nose,

It was a tight and horrid squeeze, but no other route arose.

'What's all this noise?' The mongoose asked again, and jerked his tie,

(An moth-bit, ugly, paisley thing) and waited for my sigh.

'Well,' I said, 'It's not worth telling, a mediocre reason.'

'Now, now, don't give me that, or I will call high treason.'

I screamed, afraid of lentil soup, and braved the task at hand:

'A donkey asked me earlier to tell a story to her band...'