She was in the middle of the other two. Her blonde hair fell over her shoulders and her blue eyes
were lit up from her smile. On her right was one of her best friends, Janeen. Janeen's black hair was
shinning in the sun and her brown eyes showed her smile. On Amber's left was her other best friend,
Breanna. Breanna's hair was currently a dark brownish-red color and her green eyes were piercing.
And all of them were smiling big, toothy grins.
A tear slipped down Amber's cheek. "Why can't things be like that again?" She felt a tug at her heart and grabbed her chest as the pain became physical. Amber threw the picture down as the tears
began to fall down her cheeks in rivers.
She quickly stood and walked to the window. She stared out, wondering about her friends. Did they miss her? Did they miss her as much as she missed them? She didn't know.
As she turned away from the window she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Her face was
very pale and tear-streaked. Her blue eyes that had once been so bright were now blood shot,
rimmed with red and filled with tears that made the blue even bluer. Her skin was pulled gauntly
against the bones on her face. She laughed at her reflection, thinking of how everyone had said that
she had lost so much weight. "I don't know what they're talking about." But as she turned to study
her profile she began to wonder.
How could she have denied it? It was obviously true. She turned away quickly, because she was
afraid to look at herself. How could it have happened? How did everything get turned upside down?
How could life turn to hell so quickly?
Amber sat in her bed and began to write. "When we left, I had to leave my life behind. I had to start over. Do you know how hard it is to come in somewhere your senior year after everyone has known each other for years? All that crap about a new life, a new beginning. I have no one anymore. I'm so alone. My life is spiraling downwards, out of my hands. So I'm sitting here my heart and my life in pieces. My only friends are thousands of miles away from me. No one cares about me. No one loves me. No one will listen to me. I'm laying here writing trying to get all of these feeling out, but all of these thoughts are running through my head. Is life worth living? Should I continue on living a life that's a lie? Living a life where no one cares? If I died right now, would anyone miss me? I don't
think so. So, really...Is it worth it to keep living?"
As Amber closed her diary she couldn't see through the tears that fell from her eyes. She stood up
and looked at herself in the mirror again. She picked up the pair of scissors that were sitting on her
dresser. She held them to her waist length hair and began to cut. When she was done her hair barely
brushed her shoulders. Then she threw the scissors at the mirror, causing it to break.
"I can't live like this..." She cried as she cleaned up her hair and put it in a bag. She quickly wrote out a note to her mom.
Mother-
I couldn't stand to have anything beautiful as I
leave this ugly world that doesn't care about me. Sell it. Donate it. I
don't care. I have no use for it now. I can't live a life where nobody
loves me or cares for me. I can't live with my friends so far away. So
I won't live.
Love Always,
Amber
Then she pinned the note to the bag and headed to
the bathroom. She ran a warm bath as she
swallowed a bottle of aspirin. As she sank into the waiter she took
a piece of the mirror and cut
three diagonally across her wrists.
Her mom arrived home ten minues later with a surprise
for her daughter. She checked her room, but when she didn't find her she
checked the bathroom. "Oh, my God!" She screamed as she found her daughter.
She had sunk under the water which was now red.
As she turned away she ran into Janeen and Breanna,
who both in turn screamed. They had flown
down to surprise Amber for her birthday. They broke down in tears as
they realized that their friend
was gone and that it had been she who had caused her own death.
"How could this have happened?" They wondered to
themselves. When they found her diary
everything was clear. Amber would never be forgotten by her friend
and family but to everyone else
she was just another statistic. Another example of a troubled teen.