I'm Working On It
3/1/04 333
Under the pressure of love,
I have collapsed.
I have fallen beneath its distrustful wing.
Crying for the time elapsed.
I have given up all hope.
And I feel so sophomoric against the pain.
How will my soul heal?
I am unwilling to live and to cope.
I am fearful for my future.
For the future that I am bound to fall into.
I feel so unworthy. An obdurate heart that is unsure.
I have been used and discarded of.
Thrown away, and hardened against my sins.
I'm at the end of the cliff. waiting for the wind to blow me over.
Maybe someday I will be shown where life begins.
And maybe someday, I will be given a chance to relive.
Beyond the magic of the world,
I have been introduced to a pain unheard of.
I don't know if any one will understand.
My body has been shattered and torn in the rain.
I have been deprived of a phenomenal love.
A love beyond this world. this universe.
I have been removed from the warmth. and put into pain.
I can't figure out a way to relieve what I am feeling.
I don't know if I should put my words in my skin.
If I should fall into a world of addiction.
To find comfort in pain seems like it would be a sin,
An angel of the devil.
No one knows that such an impish and amateurish thing
Can control everything in one's life. And turn it to evil.

I can feel God's hand wrapped around my heart.
He is trying to coax my guilt,
And renew my life in every part..
I don't know if I can follow his ways, though.
A life lived clean seems so far away.
Unknown and heard of.
I guess I'll have to try working on it day by day.