Part One: Why Not?

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"Don't throw my stuff around!"

"Your stuff?  Why would I care about your stuff?  Why would I care about anything to do with you?!"

"Please at least be civil for the last five minutes we're together."

"We're not together!  We're just two people who made an almighty mistake and ended up living together!  This is the end of that!  It was never a relationship!  We were never together!"

"That's odd.  You once said we were made to be together."

"We were made to hate each other!"

"I'm glad we're reaching our full potential."

"Stop being so bloody clever!"

"Stop throwing my stuff around!"

"Stop going around in circles!  This was always the problem with us!  You were our problem!"

"That's breakable…"

"Do you really think I care?"

"… you're paying for it."

"Bugger off.  It's your loss.  I'm not paying."

"Spoilt brat."

"Ignorant bastard!"

"I can't believe I never saw through you."

"You always were blind to everything!  Like me.  I have needs!"

"Go on, have another go.  You can be more clichéd than that."

"You're not worth my time!"

"Then leave."

"I'm trying to but your stuff is in my way!"

"Your bill's getting bigger."

"I told you, I'm not paying."

"You could always get arrested for criminal damage, I suppose."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Just watch me…"

"Put the phone down!"

"Not until you're gone."


"And you've paid me."

"You're disgusting."

"I would be interested to hear that - if I still gave a damn what you thought."

"…  I can't get home."

"Helpless as usual…"

"Shut up and drive me to my parent's house.  Think of it as a goodbye present."

"You don't deserve any gifts."

"It's frickin' raining!"

"And whose problem would that be?"

"Fine, I'll walk!  You'll be sorry when I catch pneumonia."

"Good good.  Leave the money from the glass on the bench as you go."


"See you in court."

"I'll pay if you drive me."

"No way."


"You're in no position to bargain with me."

"Go on…"

"I'm going to regret this."

"I'll try not to make it too painful.  I won't talk or anything so terrible as that."

"Good.  Money?"

"Fine.  How much?"

"£10 should do it."

"No way!  For that piece of junk?!"

"Sentimental value."

"You don't do sentimental."

"Fine.  Walk."

"Okay, okay!  Here.  Now let's drive quickly.  It benefits both of us."

"Yeah.  I can't wait to be away from your ugliness."

"You've changed your tune!"

"From 'you're the most gorgeous thing in the world'?  Yes, I have.  I learnt to judge beauty on what's underneath."

"You burn my eyes."

"Ooooh, original.  Your wit has me in awe."

"Can you just drive?"

"Sorry.  Didn't realise I took orders from a midget."

"I hate you."

"And yet you were deluded for so long…"

"Yes.  Deluded.  I never loved you."

"You're a good actor."

"Please carry on reminding me why I won't miss living with you."

"But you know you will."

"Carry on dreaming."

"Admit it - you're just another naïve little boy who's hopelessly besotted with me."

"I was once."

"No more?"


"What a pity.  You were entertaining."


"Whoa, please don't scream like that.  I'm trying to concentrate on the road."

"What do you mean entertaining?  After over a year together you tell me that I was just an… an amusement?!"

"A pretty amusement."

"You disgust me."

"Déjà vu.  I swear we've gone through this before…"

"We have.  You just haven't got it into your thick head yet."

"Now's your chance to educate me.  You have ten minutes unless there's traffic."

"How can you be so… so cool about this?"

"It comes naturally.  Would you prefer me to have a nervous breakdown because, of course, I simply can't live without you?"

"I'd prefer it if you'd just be aware that this is important."

"I am aware.  In fact, I'm so aware that I'm already deciding on the restaurant for my celebratory meal.  Chinese or Thai, do you think?"

"I hate you."

"Speak up."

"I hate you."

"Are you crying?!  Over me?  Oh, I'm touched."

"Let me out of the car, Dominic."

"… Look, we're a few minutes away.  The least you can do is let me drive you home.  You'll get soaked if you walk."

"I don't want to be here anymore."

"You've made that clear, and you don't have to be - "

"You were meant to take a left there."


"You'll have to turn around."

"Maybe if I shut up I'll be able to concentrate on driving."

"Please talk."

"… you're going to miss me, aren't you?"


"Oh.  Well.  Uhm.  I'll miss you too.  A little.  But it'll never mean anything.  We're impossible, remember?  Never meant to have been together."


"You yourself said that - "

"Yes, I did, didn't I?  But we all make mistakes."

"…. For a second there I thought you meant saying that was a mistake.  Not the relationship, which was the mistake.  You nearly gave me a heart attack."


"Look, Bailey, I honestly will miss you."


"I mean, it was pretty good before… then, wasn't it?"


"Yes.  Wonderful."

"If only we had made it work."

"Yes.  Uhm.  Well - oh - there's a tear on your cheek - may I?"

"Why do you have to ask?  And yes… your fingers smell of lemon."

"I was cutting one, remember?  And while I'm holding this tear, want to make a wish on it?"

"That's eyelashes, Dom!"

"Oh.  Yeah.  Any excuse, though… and your laugh is still perfect."

"Thank you…"

" - and your blush."

"I wish - "

" - shhh!  Don't say it aloud or it won't work."





"I'll tell you when."

"… Now?"

"Yes, Mr. Impatient!"

"Look who's talking!"

"I wasn't that bad, was I?"

"… No.  You weren't.  Adorable, in fact."

"You're still in love!"

"Are you?"

"You first."


"So am I."

"But we're here…"


"It could never work, Bay."

"No matter how much we want it to?"

"We've gone past your house."

"Carry on driving."

"What did you wish for?"

"It won't  come true if I tell you."


"I love you."

"Please stop crying, Bay."

"Why did we argue?"

"… you wanted to be picked up last night."


"And I forgot."

"It… it didn't matter that much."

"I should have been there."

"Honestly, Dommie, no worries.  I over-reacted."

"Do you want to go out for a meal?  For old times' sake?  Just before I drop you off."

"Please.  I… I know we can't make it work, but… for a little longer?"

"Just tonight."

"Just tonight."

"And then… maybe…"


"Okay.  Well.  Last meal."



"You're hungry?"

"As usual."

"Do your parents know you're going back to their place?"

"No.  But they won't mind, if - "


"When… I do."

"Y'know, maybe they'll be busy or something.  You could always come back home - I mean, to my flat, just for a night.  I'm happy to stay on the sofa."

"Oh.  Well.  I shouldn't…."

"You can if you want to, Bailey."

"… okay… thank you…"

"Damn traffic…"

"I'm okay with the wait."

"I'm sorry.  Our last meal should be a bit better than this, at least."

"Maybe we should stop asking for things to be perfect."


"I don't mean anything like that!  I just mean that maybe… we shouldn't expect everything to go so right."



"You deserve for it to be perfect, love."

"I'll settle for something less."

"Like me?"

"… yeah.  Why not."