A/N: This was written for a prose contest about food, and I though of lobster, so this came out of me. Woot.


Live Lobster (Yes, this is the title)

You know what's the best? Walking into the Superstore, or the Super Wal-Mart, or any of those stores that sells a variety of things large enough to support the sale of live lobsters. Yes, you heard me right...live lobsters. It's just so fun to watch them crawl around in the tank, and see their feelers and banded claws wave around.

You might think this slightly morbid of me, as we all know that those cute (yes, cute) little live lobsters go into the boiling pot of water and die a horrible death...but take note of the screaming sound. It's not the lobster, but the shell making noises as the crustacean cooks, so technically it's not torture if the animal isn't screaming, right?

Anyhow, back to the lobsters in the A&P or what have you, look, just LOOK into their beady little eyes. It's fun! You can tap on the glass too (just to piss them off further before you buy them). The best part about it all is that they taste SO good, and you know it, and they don't. They have no idea, they just crawl all over each other in a small cerulean tank.

The claws, the most dangerous parts of the entire lobster, encase some of the tastiest meat imaginable. Ironic in a way, isn't it?

Pass the butter, ladies and gents...and stoke up that stove! Let's put the critter in! Yum, yum, yum...man, I hope no animal rights activists come by today.


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