'It's not like I want your children or anything.
I just like ya.'

I had told her under a harsh night sky
Rattled by an arctic wind.
The stars knowing that I would stumble tonight
Had cowered behind the clouds
And the marquees were ready to
Ambush the innocent bystanders.
I had no idea.

'Good, because my sperm really have become non-existent.'

I remember laughing with her,
Unharmed.

'Either way, my ovaries are lined with Colgate toothpaste.
Protection from the toughest of stains.'

A grimace later and I had stood to leave her,
To return to my side of the ground,
My side of the world,
Staring down at the wet grey beneath my
Extremely interesting feet.
Then, raising my head,
I returned to the black of the rooms
And danced with vehemence
To songs I didn't know.

She passed me many times that night,
Weaving around me,
Avoiding my slightly dimming presence.
When I had her, I glowed.
Now I could feel my limbs going lax
My mind slowing down
And receding back into my own head
No longer open to the world.
I just wanted to leave.

Still, a glimmer of hope burned in me,
And, unable to recognise where it
Stemmed from,
I nurtured it, fed it, as I waited out
The short journey home.
She will be back,
Perhaps in a month or so
And have no memory or care
Of my confession,
And all will be well in the world,
Even though it wasn't catastrophic.

I cried until sleep took me.