The silence clutches my ears and
Tightens around them as
It is infiltrated by the dense buzz
Of my own persona.
It weighs heavily on my eyebrows,
Who want my eyes to close,
But there is a flickering in my lids
That has not ceased since my awakening
This cold morning.

I cannot sleep.

There is no reason for me to remain
In this state,
Suspended painfully in the limbo between
Awake and Asleep.
My life consists of old computer games -
- the height of my stress -
And late night Hong Kong Cinema,
- the height of my excitement.

My heart skips a drowsy beat
And I glare at the dog,
Who dares to violate my stifling fatigue
By shuffling dysfunctionally into the room,
Jolting the aching serenity around me,
The rowdy quiet to which I have become
Stuck like glue.

The clock is mocking me
With his steady stare
And my patience is waning,
Even though I know my anger will only
Prolong these recent nightly visits
To the world of repeated TV shows
And bad B-movies.

If only I could seek solace in the lack of the infernal
tick... tick...
tick... tick...
tick... tick...
tick... tick...
That I don't hear from the digital clock radio,
Instead emitting the perennial low buzz
To accompany and harmonise
With my drawling orchestral synapses,
Who, I think, simply play because they can.

I can feel my eyes, now blurring,
Receding back into my head,
Escaping within my face.
My chin is lax and my tongue dry,
Despite excessive salivation,
But still I hear the buzz,
And it's growing louder.
Is this what it feels like to implode?

I have no grip and when I ball my fists,
The nerves of my fingers dance lazily in them,
Tickling and tingling until I have to let go.
My mind is furiously energetic,
It will not let me calm,
Yet to ask me to concentrate would
Be like asking someone without feet
To tap dance.

So here I sit.
3:23am,
Waiting for the daylight
To catch up with me.
And have decided
I am not nocturnal,
Nor do I "live in the night."
The sun is just slow
And I am too fast for it.

So again,
I must resign myself to this unrelentingly dire,
This epically small and excruciatingly
Slow world of repeated TV shows
And bad B-movies.