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Jigoku(means 'Hell')
by battousai24
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I feel so sore all over
Yet I still feel numb
I close my eyes, trying to forget
As I open them, the pain's still there

My head is spinning
It hurts, I feel damaged
I think I can't last long like this
Soon, I'll be much more unwell

Listening to "Wonderful"
I feel like crying
The tears, I forbid to fall
I try to smile, but I can't

How can everything be wonderful
When nothing is even right?
I can't smile, there's no more joy
All I feel right now is sorrow

I'm temted to hurt myself again
I stop myself just as I get hold of it
I promised a friend I won't
As long as she's alive, I'll live

My damaged mind, deep in thought,
My shattered heart tries to heal once more
My inescapable hellfire
Is eternal, forever burning

Although young and hopeless
I hope all this would end
I wish to sleep tonight
And never wake up again

The tears are begging to fall again
I still stop them
My soul, my feelings,
Are begging to be let out

No matter what I do
I'm always pathetic
I'm never right, always wrong
For once, can't I be special?

I need you to understand
I'm not like any of you
I'm myself and no one else
I'm not perfect, not even like you

I can't be who you want me to be
We're different in almost every way
I'm stupid, you're smart, it's always like that, right?
I'm always just shoved away

I don't really care if you hit me
You hurt me anyway, no matter what
I'm never going to be all right
For once, I need to be free

I'm only young for a short while
You've gone through that, you know
I have the rest of my life to live the way you want me to
For now, please let me be

I'm still a kid, just a little ignorant one
Can't you just bear with me?
It won't take long now, I'll grow up
For now, I need to be me

It'll all be over soon
You would barely even notice
Next thing you know, I'm leaving
Then the next, I'm already gone

You're killing me slowly, not softly
If that's what you need to know to stop
You're telling me all the time to take care
How can I, when you don't even let me?

I'm not old enough to act your age
I'm still young, it's obvious
But understand, I'm not too young
I'm not as stupid as you think

Finally, the tears fell
I begged them not to, but I couldn't
They've stopped for now, at least,
But now, though, I feel better

I hate crying for it's useless
I was always told it won't change anything
So if it won't change what's done wrong
Why is everyone letting the tears fall?

Can't they listen to themselves?
Can't they just follow their own instructions?
They break their own goddamn rules
And they scold us for doing the same

I'd understand that they're not perfect either
But they should now we aren't too
We al make mistakes
It doesn't matter how much we do

We're all human
We're all imperfect
We all make mistakes
Can't we accept that fact?

We gain experience through the years
We find out what's right and what's wrong
I don't want to get it all from you
I want to gain it by myself

I want to be responsible for my life
How can I be, when you don't let me?
If I make mistakes, it's my fault
I'll suffer whatever the consequence may be

How dare you tell me you're always right?
And how dare you tell me I'm always wrong?
Do you think I know nothing of the world
And that you've known everything all along?

Then what's the use of education
If you expect me not to know?
Is school just some place you want to send me off to
When you get tired of seeing my face?

Why'd you even let me live?
Why'd you even have to have me?
Hell, if you didn't want a kid in the first place
You should've killed me when you found out

'You hurt most the one you love'
It's that quote you always say
But hell, isn't that pathetic?
It only means that love is pain

When you say love is that way
Then love doesn't exactly exist
It's just an illusion for everyone
To think that they are 'special'

Everything is useless then
Everything is made out of love
Then everything is made of nothing
So you mean to say nothing exists?

If everything is nothing
Then what's the use?
You dare tell me you love me,
but do we both even exist?

I'm forgetting how sore my body is
I'm just so angry with you
If only I'm not controlling my anger
You might've been dead a long time ago

I'm not yet calm, I'm still annoyed
I can't chill right now
My blood is boiling whenever I see you
I wish only you'd die hard and slow

Finally, I'll end this stupidity
I'll stop writing about you and I
I'll quit for now, I'll stop ranting
But this is obviously just a lie