The Siren Of Robbins County
By:Andrew Troy Keller

If my memory is still able to serve me correctly,
There have been some secrets within our town of Bentley,
Idaho--and most of them were considered to be sinister.
For example:There was a woman known as Julia Parker,
Who was also known as The Siren Of Robbins County.

You see,she has been sitting on the same piano
Through the last days of the 20th Century with no
Hope of ever being able to catch herself a man
And turn him into a husband--even though she can.
In short,nothing has gotten Julia off of that piano.

But that was until a young drifter known as Kevin
Dawson,who looked like he has been living out in
The streets for far too long and decided to step
Into someplace warm and have a drink.After he'd stepped
Up and ordered a beer,something had just told Kevin
That a sultry eyed beauty has gotten her eye on
The guy who's the brother of the town's mayor,Ron--
And she was sitting on a piano all by herself.

And so,after he realized that he's also by himself,
He walked over and introduced himself to the Susan Sarandon
Type beauty,who had looked at him and let out
A smile,just before asking,"Want us to get out
Of here and go to a nicer place,Hot Lover?"

After he had smiled at Julia and agreed with her
Idea,they've left the bar and towards the James Clout
Apartment Building,where she's been living for a few years
And has been experiencing nothing more than a few tears,
For a guy was suppossed to marry her--and gets
Stood up at the altar,causing her to become upset
By the creep who'd taken away her day of cheer.

So anyway,after they had walked into her singles pad,
Julia walked over to Kevin and said,"So,Mister Bad
Boy.How about I show you what Heaven's really like?"

And then,just like he's about to mount his bike,
Kevin had wrapped his arms around his very own bad
Girl lover and kissed h ever so on her
Lips,before they both had gone into the bedroom together.

As soon as they had entered the room,both Kevin
And Julia had removed all of their clothes,plop in
The bed and began to have the best sex ever.

Just then,while she's feeling his hot breath on her
Neck,Julia had lifted the pillow right next to her
And has let out a smile,for she has a
Gun under that pillow,which makes it easy for Julia
Grab the gun,pull it out and point it at her
Target at point blank range,just before she pulls
The trigger and blows a bullet right into his skull.

That was what happened to all of her other suitors,
Who had fallen into her little sexual trap way before
Kevin came to town--and likes to keep his skull
Attached to the rest of him.

Sometime later,after they've enjoyed sin's
Most ultimate pleasure and collapsed due to exhaustion,Kevin had
Noticed the gun in Julia's hand,noticed that something bad
Was about to happen to him
And was about to move the gun away from her
Hand,only to have Julia quickly open her
Eyes,discover what Kevin was up to
And quickly aimed the gun before he was able to
Take it away from her.

"I'VE THOUGHT SO!YOU'RE JUST LIKE THE OTHERS!",
Yelled Julia,whose angry eyes were on her
Latest victim."YOU'VE ONLY MADE ME CRY--
AND FOR THAT,YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!"

And with that,Julia fired and Kevin died on her
Bed,causing her to have no choice,but to cry,
For even though she was able to try
To control her impulses of pure angrish,
No one was safe around the brutish
Siren,who was able to make everybody else cry.

Whatever happened to Julia,no one seems to know.
Some said that Julia had decided to blow
Her way out of town--
And others say that she had married some clown
From Mount Regis.That's all that they know.

Only one thing was for sure--
That her leaving town was the perfect cure
For that particular problem and I hope
That with Julia gone,we'll be able to cope
With no more Siren of Robbins County--that's for sure.