I don't know how to feel,
When I hear your voice.
We may be going out,
But my past has made the choice.

Will I ever love?
Or ever love again,
I think I'll just choose no,
Saves me from so much pain.

My past is something,
I would willingly ignore,
It tampers with my heart,
Makes me feel unsure.

I can remember things between us,
Which have made me smile,
I'm happy with those memories,
More than just a while.

But my past refuses to leave,
Like a shadow it follows,
The icy cool breeze,
Rips me apart.
It reminds me of what was,
And what shall never be,
Because of a few men,
I shall never be me.

But is that so bad?
For who am I really?
I can't see any good,
Inside of this body,
I hurt everyone I care about,
Or who cares about me,
Is that even possible,
I'm nothing worth seeing.
Why would anyone care?
Especially you.
But my problem is,
Not matter what,
It's you I choose,
It's you I care about.
It's you I feel sorry for,
Because you'll end up getting hurt.
I'm sorry I care about you.

By Siobhan
Date: 31/March/2004