- I rented..... Interview with.....

What???? He rented Interview with a vampire???? Suddenly I am happy. I completely forgot that my dearest roommate has just waked me up ( it is kinda 10 pm okay but I just hate to be waked ) and a smile comes to my face.

Yes. I'm in love with that movie. It is really good. But it isn't exactly like the book. Still, a movie with Brad Pitt and Antonio Banderas is definitely a good movie from the start. See, having not just one, but two incredibly handsome actors in a movie does influence its greatness!

- Interview with... Christina Aguilera!
- WHAT?????
- Yes I know, they made a DVD about her isn't that great????

NO it's bloody well not!!! I can't believe this. The worse thing for a guy like me is to have this Christina-fan roommate.

I mean, how the hell can you be turned on by a stupid blond girl???

I prefer watching Brad's and Antonio's ass thank you.

- Oh come on cake. don't be mad!
- Fuck off! Go watch your stupid interview and leave me alone! Why the
hell you waked me for?

Ret smiles. He looks so much like Mr. Burns some times it's freaky. By he's expression he looks on the verge to say "excellent" and start a psychotic laugh or summon an evil Frankenstein-ish creature on me just for fun.

See, my roommate is evil. And they say I'm the crazy one!!

- Well, in like two minutes Jay and Lop are coming over.
- Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Just what I needed. He's two homophobic friends coming over and nag at me (cause they will they are as evil- if not more- as Ret)

The thing I don't quite understand is the nickname thing. Really. Ret's real name is like Justin or something and Jay's is like Marc. I don't know Lop's real name. Knowing his drunken and stoned parents, his name real is probably Lop.

The thing I don't get is why I'm "cake". Why cake?

I don't eat cake that much. Last time I checked, I didn't looked like a cake.

Well, I don't complain much. Still better then cherry-pie.

- So anyway, cake, you'll probably want to get out of the house.
- Why's that?
- Well, Lop's cousin is coming too.

This is where I start to freak. I quickly put on some decent clothes and hurry of my room. On the way out I steal Ret's car keys (muahahahhahah) and take off.

The first time I saw Lop's cousin, I was like fourteen. Never quite got he's name. But oh god was he gorgeous. He had black hair that was little curly and not-quite-short without being very long and girly. And then there were those beautiful blue almond-shaped eyes.

You can understand that when they told me that this cutie was Lop's cousin I didn't believe it at first. Lop is really ugly and doesn't look like cutie at all. But, sadly, they do resemble themselves in their mentality.


Witch is really sad. Worse, cutie really hates me for some reason. Since the first time he saw me he started bullying me and treating me like a fucking slave and all.

I mean, I may be gay, but that doesn't mean I am his little house-wife.

I found it very weird that Ret would advice me to take off. Normally he enjoys seeing me suffer at the hands of the homophobic ( partly because he knows that if he challenge me alone he'll get killed)

Anyway, I am in his car right now.

I pass Lop and Jay on the street. Shit.

After a quick argument ( and fight- they really are violent guys-) They take Ret's car back.

So there I am. Walking alone in the streets. Without a car and sore muscles for recent the recent wounds I got from said Ret's friend.

Wait a second. Lop's cousin wasn't with them. What the hell? Lop's so protective about his little cousin, he wouldn't leave him alone one sec.

But then again I've not seen him for like two years and people change. I've seen this cousin of mine last week and I had not seen her for like one year and I didn't even recognize her. For all I know, I may even pass him on the street and never know it's him!

That would be weird. Weirder it gets when I enter my best friend's house.


I am happy to obliged. Walking in on your best friend having a threesome with some random girls is not a pleasant sigh. Believe me.

But it's weird she called me Cake. WHY CAKE???

So there I am, walking in a solitary way in the streets again.

What I need right now: alcohol and maybe a good fuck

So with that In mind I enter this random gay bar and start checking the guy's out while drinking my first glass of vodka. Quickly followed by multiples other drinks (witch I am far too drunk to know what they contain)

Good thing about me, I never puke. I'll die of alcohol overdose before puking.

It is a weird thing but it is quite practical. As in, I never start emptying my stomach on my night-stands.

I am getting pretty bored, I haven't spotted a cute guy yet. I am starting to think I could call my boyfriend and that's really sad.

Yes, I do have a boyfriend. Yes, I still go around and fuck everyone. I am a slut and I don't care.

For all I know, he sure is cheating on me as well.

Wait a minute. He IS cheating on me. He's there tonight and he's dancing with the only cute guy.

Normally, I wouldn't mind because I am way worse then he is but..

Hell he got the only cute guy! So let's start the drama!!!!

So I start walking in they're direction. I end up behind his back and I slowly tap his shoulder.

- What do ya want?

he mumbles back.

- TERRY!! you are such an asshole you know that???

Muhahah. I start screaming at him like he's the perverted cheater guy and I am not sure but I think the cute guy is pitying me.

Pity. hum. well whatever. As long as I get the guy no problem what e thinks of me.

Poor Terry. He really is confused that I'm so mad right now and after a time he just goes away.

Glad you made it so easy for me love.

It's kinda pretty dark and I don't really see mysterious cutie's feature that well. But I really don't care.

After Terry's gone I turn around and put on my incredible charm.

- So, babe you got a house. I've no where to go?

He looks very enthusiastic to take me home and that's very good.

So anyway, we get out of the club and on the streets again.

I am soooo drunk. I nearly killed myself by falling on the ground.

Making cutie laugh at me.

So there I have it. I got my fuck and got myself drunk. Weeee I a happy.

So it's like 9 am when I wake up in said cutie's bed. I have a major head ache but it will pass.

Cutie's not there and I'm hungry so I get up and go on the search for food.

Happy to find cutie's in the kitchen.

But then I freeze.

It's not just some random cutie.

He still has his curly dark hair but they are slightly shorter.

Still has those two beautiful eyes.

I would be damned if it is not Lop's cousin.

I fucking fucked Lop's cousin.

Wasn't he straight or something?

So I supposed I look like a stupid idiot like that just staring at him.

By he's expression it doesn't look like he recognizes me at all.

I have changed a lot I know that.

- Fuck your Lop's cousin

Wow. Such a good way to start the day. I am polite and nice I know.

- I prefer being called Kay if you don't mind!

Well. He looks mad.

- How do you know Lop anyway?

Okay. Now that's dangerous. Nights stands should stay nights stands. If I tell him why and that I'm cake. He'll

a) tell lop about it and Lop is gonna get his chainsaw and kill me
b) .. tell Lop and he'll kill me with a gun
c) Tell Lop and

Well. I am sure you get the point. I will not divulge my identity to Lop's cousin (Kay)

- Oh well, I fucked him once that's all ciao.

So I got myself outa there. Without breakfast. Need Food.

I wonder if I can get back to ret's.

Will try.

I resist the temptation to steel cutie/Lop's cousin/Kay's car. I have a thing with steeling everyone's car. Apart from being a slut it's my favourite hobby.

I am still choked that Lop's cousin of all people would turn out to be gay. I am quite happy actually.

So when I get back home I see Ret and Lop watching TV. Boy, are they boring sometimes.

- Hey where's your cousin Lop

I say, I am evil too.

- Well, I dunno he is gonna come in a minute or so I think

Okay. So Lop doesn't know his precious little cousin is gay. He doesn't know I got him. And Lop's cousin doesn't know who I am. I can smell drama coming up and it will be good for me.

Except the fact that I'm gonna die by the hands of Lop. Oh well. Had to happen someday.

- The we'll just wait for him won't we?

casually, I sit down next to Ret on the sofa and watch TV with them. They are surprise I don't snob them like I usually do and that I don't hide because Kay's coming.

Seconds later, he is in the house.

He changed clothes and he looks genially happy to see Lop and Ret.

That stupid smile fades of his face when he sees me.

- Oh Kay, remember Cake?

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Well, that's it for the first chapter. If you want other chapters well let me know by leaving a fabulous review please .

You may found that fic pretty weird but just keep in mind I wrote it when I was really drunk and my brother was annoying me.

But I got to watch Interview with a Vampire! YAY happy

----- Sasha----