Originally this chapter of Agriculture Class was going to be a Halloween Special but then I got sick, work wanted me to do overtime and I needed to do a few jobs on the computer for my folks. Plus I'm a lazy git. Well I hope you all like the most #*%$ed up chapter yet. Enjoy.

The Agriculture Class:

Chapter 4: Mexican Alien Monster Legends Thing

It hasn't been a good day for the Agriculture Class as the weather outside had been terrible the last couple of days with dark cloudy skies, non-stop rain, thunder and lighting. The class sat at their desks in the library as they noticed Mr O Donovan was talking to someone on the phone in his office.

Andrew: Um ………… Shouldn't he be teaching us?

Shane: Your point?

Ben: Waitaminute I thought you had a music lesson now?

Shane: (Sarcastically) Again your point?

Ben: You do realise that I still have the steel pole Mr O Donovan gave me don't you?

Shane: (Laughs) Again your point?

Ben: (Annoyed) Right you short tubby bastard you've asked for this since day one!

Roxy: What does he mean by day one?

Johnny: Don't know, don't care anymore.

Ben picks up his steel pipe and grabs a terrified Shane by the collar as he drags him off screen whilst the others talk.

(Steel pipe hitting sound)

Andrew: (Confused) 'Don't know, don't care anymore'? Johnny that doesn't sound like your normal cheerful self.

Roxy: Yeah what's wrong sexy?

Andrew: (Shocked) 'Sexy'? (Scratches his head) Ok now I'm REALLY confused.

(Steel pipe hitting sound)

Johnny: (Sighs) Its Halloween today and my mum won't let me go trick or treating.

Roxy: Well you are like 16 years old sweetie.

Andrew: Plus you do live in Woodend.

(Steel pipe hitting sound)

Johnny: Meaning?

Andrew: Meaning anyone who lives in Coventry will get that joke.

Roxy: (Nods) That's true.

(Steel pipe hitting sound)

Andrew: (Annoyed) Am I the only one who's getting annoyed by that sound?

Roxy: If Shane starts crying like a little baby again then I'll be more then annoyed.

Johnny: (Confused) Um …………… Weren't we discussing my problems a few moments ago?

Suddenly Robert appears out from the back of the library wearing blue overalls which are covered in blood stains and carrying a shovel which is also covered in blood. He is also covered in water from the non-stop pour of rain that he has been forced to work in. At the back of the library is the main entrance to the school's garden which is where the pond is kept, the chickens in the chickens, the rabbits, the greenhouse and numerous other things such as the plants that Robert #*%$ing hates with all of his heart.

Robert: (Angry) Dammit that's the fourth chicken this week.

Ben suddenly stops hitting a beaten Shane with the steel pole as he looks up at what Robert has just said. He loosens his grip on Shane as he allows him to drop to the floor as he looks at Robert with a mixture of curiosity and confusion.

Ben: (Confused) What did you say about the chickens Robert?

Robert: (Notices Ben) Shit …………… I mean …………… What chickens I didn't mention anything about dead chickens.

Ben: (Raises an eyebrow) I didn't mention anything about dead chickens neither Robert. Once again you did.

Robert: (Sweat drops) ………………… Um ……………………………

Ben: What are you hiding?

Robert: (Points) Say what's that over there?

Ben: (Annoyed) How dumb do you think I am?

Robert: (Still pointing) But seriously look its your pal from Sixth Form with what looks like HARD hentai yuri doujinshi!

Ben: (Wide eyed) What? Where? (Looking around) Where? Where?

Robert quickly runs towards Mr O Donovan's office whilst Ben is distracted.

Ben: (Realises) Waitaminute! My mate doesn't have the Internet, where the #*&$ could he get his dojin from? (Notices Robert is gone) ………………………… That's the tenth time …………………………

Later ……………

We see Robert dressed in his normal clothes holding a cup of tea in his hand whilst talking to Mr O Donovan who is also drinking some tea.

Robert: Sir I think we should tell the others about the chicken deaths.

Mr O Donovan: (Loud slurp) Great idea Robert but we'll do it my way.

Robert: (Sarcastically) Great (drinks his tea).

Much later ……………

We see group of tied and annoyed teenagers sitting at a table whilst Mr O Donovan and Robert our at the other end with serious looks on their faces.

Mr O Donovan: Now you're all probably wondering why I've called you here.

Shane: We are but ……………

Andrew: We've got a feeling it involves the dead chickens Ben saw earlier.

Mr O Donovan: (Stupid smile) Well I would be lying if I said it didn't.

Roxy: (Rolls her eyes) Obliviously ………

Mr O Donovan: Well both Robert and I have decided it's time you all knew the truth but first I have one questions for all of you.

Ben: (Unsure) Such as?

Mr O Donovan: Who here knows of any Mexican monster myths?

Suddenly the library is filled with silence as everyone our unsure on how to answer Mr O Donovan's question.

Johnny: (Confused) Excuse me?

Shane: (Confused) 'Myths'?

Ben: How the #*%£ do Mexican monster myths have anything to do with what has happened to the chickens?

Mr O Donovan: Well there is this myth in about some sort of demon that sucks the blood of goats like a vampire but leaves four puncher marks in their necks. Some call it the 'goat sucker' whilst others call it 'ilchutacabra'!

Ben: (Eyes bulge out anime style) WHAT!?!

Mr O Donovan: (Pints up into the air) It's the only logical answer!

Robert: Well actually sir it isn't ………

Mr O Donovan: Four puncher holes in the chicken's necks, completely drained of blood, UFO sightings all over the city.

Robert: But the only reports of ilchutacabra attacks have come from Mexico. How could something like that get all the way over to the UK?

Mr O Donovan: ……… A cheap flight?

Johnny: How does UFO sightings fit into all of this?

Ben: Well according to my mate in Sixth Form some people believe the ilchutacabra is either some kind of alien or a demon.

Andrew: If it were an alien then that would explain the UFO sightings.

Roxy: So what can we do to stop it?

Suddenly the class hear the sound of a gun clicking and quickly turn round to see Mr O Donovan loading a shotgun and dressed up in the hunter gear someone hunting in Africa would wear.

Mr O Donovan: There's only one thing we can do to stop it little lady and that's kill it without mercy!

Robert: (Shocked) What!?! Sir I thought you wanted to capture it alive?

Mr O Donovan: Well yeah I did at first and then I was going to start my own freak show carnival but then realised that the show with the same name would probably sue the pants off me especially as I would have Ben here heal people. (Checking his shotgun) So then I thought why not just kill the dam thing and then have it stuffed and mounted on my wall or better yet in the library?

Ben: (Confused) Me heal people?

Andrew: (Stares) ………………………… Sir are you sure you're not on any form of medication?

Mr O Donovan: (Shouts) What the hell is that supposed to mean!?!

Andrew: (Waves his hands) Nothing, nothing.

Johnny: Speaking of meds I haven't seen Miss Gould in a while.

Shane: Your point?

Johnny: (Annoyed) Enough of that joke already.

Robert: Sir how exactly do you plan to capture this thing so you can kill it anyway?

Mr O Donovan: Easy I'm going to make Ben, Andrew and yourself do the first watch.

Ben: (Confused) The first what?

Later ……………

We see Ben, Andrew and Robert dressed in black clothes like burglars whilst sitting in the tool shed in the school's garden. Robert is looking a chicken through a pair of binoculars whilst the chicken is in a specially prepared trap designed for the capture of ilchutacabra. It is night, it is raining and all three of the boys are thinking one thing that a very moment.

Andrew: (Angry) I swear I'm going to jam this hammer so far up Mr O Donovan's arse that he's …………

Robert: (Annoyed) I still can't believe no one thought to bring a pocket sized TV with them or at least a magazine to read.

Ben: (Reading some sheet) Will that's life for yeah.

Robert: (Raises an eyebrow) What are you reading anyway?

Ben: Some story my mate wrote. Before he posts it on the Internet he wanted me to check it all over for him first.

Robert: (Still looking through the binoculars) What kind of story is it? Drama? Romance? Fanfic?

Ben: (Still reading) The second one. It's a romance story but it is original.

Andrew: Romantic stories suck if you ask me.

Robert: (Still looking through the binoculars) What's it about?

Ben: It's about a love that develops between two best friends after a single kiss during a game of 'truth or dare'.

Andrew: O one of those boy meets girl stories is it?

Robert: (Still looking through the binoculars) Doesn't sound like anything else that hasn't already been done by your mate.

Ben: Did I mention the two friends who fall in love with each other also have sex as part of the dare?

Andrew: HHHMMMMM hentai.

Robert: (Still looking through the binoculars) O so he wrote it as a lemon? (Nods) Not bad.

Ben: Yeah not bad for his first yuri story if you ask me.

Robert + Andrew: (Shouts) YURI!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Ben: (Shrugs) Well I didn't say that it was your ordinary love story did …………… (Raises an eyebrow) Why are you two looking at me like that?

Andrew: (Insane look) Must …… have ……… yuri …………

Robert: Ben let us read the yuri. (Shouts) NOW!

Ben: (Waves his hands) Chill out you two remember we have more important things to –

Chicken: (O/S) URK!

Robert: (Confused) What the? (Looks through the binoculars) ………… Crap in a hat.

Much later ……………

Again we see Robert, Ben and Andrew sitting in the tool shed waiting for the ilchutacabra to strike as they set up another trap using another chicken.

Andrew: (Worried) What are we going to tell Mr O Donovan about the first chicken?

Ben: We can easily make it looked like a fox did it.

Robert: (Confused) How?

Both the lads turn to Ben not taking any notice of the second chicken.

Ben: Well first we have to –

Chicken: (O/S) URK!

Robert: (Quickly looks through the binoculars) …… Son of a bitch! (Angry) It did it again!

Robert: Ah nuts.

Much, much later ……………

Again we see Ben, Andrew and Robert sitting in the tool shed waiting for the ilchutacabra to strike again whilst the third chicken awaits it's unknowing doom.

Robert: (Still looking through the binoculars) I can't help but feel sorry for it to tell you the truth.

Ben: (Sighs) I know what you mean Robert but in the end in order to save life we must first take life.

Andrew: (Turns to Ben) You're very philosophical tonight aren't you Ben?

Ben: Well to tell you the truth I was a little too close to Mr O Donovan's greenhouse earlier while he was in it if you get the idea.

Andrew: …………… Is it still open?

Ben: Probably not. He always locks it.

Robert: ………… He did give me his keys earlier in case of an emergency you know.

Robert quickly pulls out Mr O Donovan's keys from his coat pocket as he and the other two lads just stare at him with only one thought going through their minds.

In the morning …………

We see Mr O Donovan whistling as he enters the garden. He walks over to the school's tool shed. He slowly opens the door to see all three of his students extremely high and smoking his 'stuff'.

Andrew: Wow man … the colours …

Ben: My hands can touch everything except my dick!

Robert stands up and then vomits all over the floor whilst Mr O Donovan just looks at them and then walks around to the chicken house where all of his prize winning chickens have been slaughtered.

He walks back into the library and then into his office. Shortly he comes out of his office holding a metal pipe and with a disgruntled look on his face.

Mr O Donovan: (Mumbling) Taking no chances …

The End

Ok compared to the other chapters I think this one sucked. Please let me know what you think in the review. Until next time …