I've been meaning to write this for a long time, I've just never gotten around to it. Kinda cheesy, but I like it.


She was a platinum blond, that she swore was her natural hair color. I've seen the bottle of peroxide. She was a size C and had a 0 waist, obtained by corsets and Wonderbras. She had deep sapphire blue eyes, that she also claimed as hers. I would have believed that one, but I knew they were contacts. She had a bottle tan, wore small, tight clothes, and a lot of make-up. Everything about her said hooker. Except her attitude.

I met her in a bar one windy March night. I was looking for a fun and cheap night. What I got was a slap across the face. As I staggered backwards in surprise, she glared at me, turned on her silver stilettos, and flounced out of the bar. So as to save face, and not look like a complete moron, I ran after her. As soon as I had reached her, she whipped out a can of mace on me.

And so began our relationship.

After driving me to the hospital to take a look at my eyes, I guess she felt sorry for what she had did. "My name's Valerie." She told me, as I was lying in a hospital gurney. I smiled grimly and extended my hand. "Simon." I said coyly. "So am I getting any sympathy sex out of this?" Valerie's face twisted up, and for a second I thought she would bring out the spray again. I cowered under my sheets, reaching for the phone to call a nurse, but the girl relaxed, taking deep breaths so as to calm her rage. "I pity you Simon." She said softly. "I really do." Her words touched some part of me deep down that I hadn't felt in a long time. I gave her a real smile. "So." I croaked. "How about dinner tomorrow night?"

Valerie and I hit it off right away, on our second time out. I tried not to be so perverted, and she tried to loosen up. We had dinner at a swanky, yet still affordable French cuisine. I took her there so as to impress her with my worldly knowledge of foods. Imagine my surprise when she began to strike up a conversation with the waiter- in perfectly fluent French. I sputtered my order out and turned to Valerie in surprise after the waiter had gone. "What else should I know about you?" I said in amazement. For some reason, this was not a very smart question on my part. My date's face twisted up again (I have now learned she does that when she's angry or afraid.) and she turned away from me. "You don't need to know anything about me." She hissed. I backed off respectfully. "What would you like to talk about then?" I asked. Valerie smiled. "How about you?" she inquired.

Now I've never been on a date where the woman actually wants to know about me, but Valerie listened to every word I had to say. I tried to impress her at first with tales of grandeur and my heroic deeds, but she seemed less interested in that. I ended up basically pouring out my entire soul to this woman I had only known for a day or two. I even admitted to the time I had taken the floor boards out in my brother's tree house because I had been jealous. By the time I was through, I was nearly in tears. Valerie sat there, a look of satisfaction on her face. "You'll do." She said softly.

My relationship with this woman lasted about 2 years. We became fast friends, and even closer than that. I didn't even mind that Valerie refused to sleep with me. Just being around her was enough for me. I did ask her once why she didn't want to have sex. "Is it me?" I pleaded, afraid of the answer. "Am I too small?" She just smiled sadly and shook her head. "It's against my religion to have sex before wedlock." She said softly. Then she added sadly. "I'm also not allowed to get plastic surgery." I looked at her in astonishment. Then I pulled her close and looked right into her fake blue eyes. "You are beautiful just the way you are." I said. And I meant it, with all my heart. Valerie smiled and gave me a soft kiss on the nose.

Time passed and it was nearing our second year and month anniversary. I was all set to take my darling out on an unforgettable date, when the phone rang. It was Valerie. "I can't see you." She said in a choked voice. "I can't ever see you again." Then she hung up. I stood there, dazed, an annoying buzz in my ear. Then I realized it was the dial tone. Quickly I grabbed my coat and keys, and made my way over to her apartment. I banged on the door, but it was locked. All lights were out, but I could hear a faint crying within the apartment. Sadly, I went home, trying to understand just what was happening. It dawned on me the next morning that Valerie was gone forever.

A month later, I got a call at about 3 in the morning on a Sunday. Dragging myself out of bed, I picked up, only to hear Valerie's voice once again. She sounded heartbroken. "I need you to come over. Right away." She whispered. I silently thanked God and raced out of the room, still in my pajamas. I ran over to an all-night grocery store and bought a large bouquet of daisies. The grocer looked at me oddly, but I didn't care. Tonight was the night that I would win my true love back.

I raced over to Valerie's apartment and ran up the stairs. Once I got to her door, I took a second to calm my racing heart, straighten my collar, and knock on the door. "Come in." said a sad voice. I opened the door a crack, and walked in I heard weeping coming from Valerie's room, so I headed that way.

There sat my darling, my angel. She had stopped bleaching her hair and had cut it short so only the mousy brown roots were there. Her tan was fading, leaving her skin all splotchy. She wore a simple white shift that framed her chubby belly and thighs, and her A bra. As I entered softly, she turned her make-up free face to me. Her gray blue eyes met mine, and she turned away in shame, her face all puffy and red from crying. "So now you see." She hiccuped. "This is what I look like. I'm hideous." I walked over to her and handed her the daisies. As she turned to me in surprise, I enveloped her in a warm hug and gave her a soft kiss.

"You're beautiful." I breathed.

She gave an uncertain smile, her chapped lips cracking. "Do you really mean it?" she whispered. I nodded. She gave a soft cry of happiness and kissed me. Then, reluctantly, she pulled away from me and stood in the center of her room, facing me in all her glory.

Out of no where, a bright light began to shine. It began glowing softly, then it became so bright that I couldn't even see Valerie, just her outline. Eyes watering, I watched large wings unfold from her back with a soft swooshing noise. As I stared in amazement, Valerie addressed me in her heavenly voice. "Angels are meant to be beautiful. Thank you for showing me that I am." Then the light slowly faded, taking my Valerie with it. I sat there, numb. Just as the tear started to flow, I heard a knock on the door. I stumbled over to get it, but stopped. On the inside of the door was a note.

"For you Simon,

Thank you."

I gave a an uncertain smile, and opened the door to the face of my future.