What Is It That I Want To Say to You?
One night, I sat alone
In the balcony garden
On the top floor in my condo
Sometimes I questioned myself
What is it that I want to say to you?
Or where do we go from here?

When you told me a date to meet
A lot of mixed emotions overwhelmed me
Happy to see you yet scared to meet you
Eager to see you yet shy to meet you
All this emotions in me felt really strong
That it makes me excited yet nervous at the same time

That night, I was cleaning my closet
I stumbled upon a few of your letters you gave me
Which was placed in a box for letters and pictures
I slowly opened them and read them all over again
As I read, no sadness and bitterness I feel
But more to remembering the past and smiling gently

Then I stumbled upon some of your pictures
That you modeled for me in my home
Again, memories began to overwhelmed me
And I placed your pictures into a proper album
To keep it properly and cherished it warmly
Like I remembered how it was before

So now, I questioned myself again
What is it that I want to say to you?
And the only thing that comes to my mind
Was 'could we start a new friendship?''
Or 'could we start from the beginning?'
Or 'could you forgive me completely from the bottom of your heart?'

I think back the times I hurt you a lot
That makes you cry and cry all the time
If I have not been selfish and stubborn
Would things be different for us?
Somehow it hurts me so much too
But I knew that you felt it worse than me

I think back again of how much you meant to me
That I always cherished our friendship
And yet I stupidly destroyed it
And I'm not sure how to revive it again
Because I myself, am totally lost and not sure where to begin
Do we have to learn about each other again? How do we start?

Finally, I lay down on my bed
And switched off the lights because I loved the dark
Your dolphin was beside me and so I cuddled it lightly
And I silently asked you as if you're there
Could we be friends and start all over again?
And give me a chance again so I can make it up to you?

And then, I closed my eyes and slept peacefully
While holding your dolphin around in my arms