Only You
By CC

Chapter Fifteen: Don't Run Away

It wasn't supposed to turn out like this. It wasn't supposed to turn out like this. It wasn't supposed to turn out like this.

'I don't know what to do,' Serena drowned in her tears, softly banging her head against the wood of the desk. She had found herself back at Cascade High School, in the same classroom that she always retreated to. Where she always ran away to. Except rather than her own assigned seat, she sat in Billy's. It was the closest she could be to him right now. She wasn't sure if she'd ever have the chance to be near him ever again. All she could do was run away. Just run away like the coward she was, afraid to face the problem, afraid that there wasn't a solution.

What could she do? Apologizing wouldn't be enough. Billy never acted like that before towards her in her life. She didn't know what to do. What was she supposed to do? With a scream muffled by the back of her hand, she realized that she couldn't do anything.

It wasn't supposed to turn out like this.

--

A lifetime span around his head as he sat against the familiar birch tree, its branches stripped completely bare of leaves, in the exact state that he saw it on his first day of high school two years ago.

Is this what things had come to? He still remembered that day when he was four, only weeks before the murder of his mother. It was the Fourth of July and he and his parents, went on the roof to watch the fireworks around the neighborhood. He rested his head on his mother's shoulder as his father held both of them tightly, lovingly. He remembered when he used to call Morgan "daddy." He remembered when his father told him he loved him, and he returned the affection in every inch of his body. He didn't care that more than every now and then his loving daddy would return late at night and hit him and mommy. He was still his dad, and he knew that his father would never do anything to really hurt his family. That moment of love on the roof mattered more than anything else Morgan ever did before.

But then he crossed a line. He hurt them when Billy thought he never could.

Billy never wanted to admit it, but he missed how it used to be. But that day would never come back again.

And now he threw out the last family he had.

He traced a star in the dirt as he whispered to himself, "Serena.."

She was caught in the middle of everything, and Billy attacked her for that. He knew about the strong face that Serena always tried to hold for everyone, and could only imagine what hell her mind was going through. It was the first time that she went out on a limb beyond a smile and an order for Billy's sake, and he didn't take the time to recognize that. Instead, he accused her of being wrong in every way. It didn't matter what happened, she was just trying to help.

Wiping away a tear of regret, he stood up and as he prepared to begin looking for Serena, the sound of a twig snapping startled him. He turned around sharply, and smiled at the familiar face, "Oh, Layla."

"Oh, Billy," Layla ran up to him and embraced him tightly, "I heard about what happened earlier. Are you alright?"

He returned the embrace, sincerely touched by her concern, "I'm fine now that you're here, Layla. How did you hear..?"

Layla explained, "Oh, I bumped into Serena this afternoon and--"

"You did?" Billy cut her off in the rush to know how Serena was, worry spilling through his voice, "How was she? Was she okay? I--..I yelled at her today.."

"And you had every right to!" Layla pouted, "She was so happy when I saw her! She said something about everything going just as planned."

The shock that ran through Billy's head was indescribable. The thunderclouds, lightning, earthquakes, hurricanes that coursed through his veins were invisible, but he could feel them, he could swear that he felt them. His heart was pounding. Just as planned?

He heard her as he walked away that afternoon. She was sobbing in a condition he had never saw before in her; she fell to her knees, asking for forgiveness. It tore him up as he walked away in tears, but he was too clouded with rage and pride to turn around. Every time he recalled Serena's voice that moment, his eyes threatened to overflow with tears.

And that.. that was just an act?

Impossible. She wouldn't do that. Billy knew so well, he was so sure that behind every single thing that Serena did, behind every curse and command, there was a heart of gold. She wouldn't..

But looking back, maybe it made sense. Maybe she just wanted to ruin Billy and see him cry. Maybe she just wanted to hit where she knew it really hurt. Maybe there wasn't a silver lining that the hopeful Billy wanted to see. The Serena Valcott that she showed whenever she screamed at Billy.. was she the real Serena Valcott after all?

'No..' Billy's mind struggled with the new information.

You.. you are my life, Serena. You're my family. You're my best friend. He'd been living a one-sided lie for the last five years. All the love that Serena ever gave was all an act, while Billy tried so hard to give everything he ever had to her. He was so sure that there was something more to her, that no matter what, she was really a loving, fantastic person.

"She really.." Billy tried to swallow the lump in his throat though with no avail, the shock apparent in his voice, "she said that?"

Layla expressed a look with equal angst, showing her sympathy for Billy, "I'm sorry, Billy.." She held him with such a gentleness that it astonished Billy, and for a moment, the shock and anger towards Serena, the horrid feelings after the confrontation with his father, it all went away and the only people in the world were standing there underneath the trees, him and Layla, this gentle young woman that held him with such a sincere love and selflessness. He had forgotten her so much, casting her aside for Serena. She was all he had right now, and he wasn't going to cast her aside again.

He gently pushed her away to thank her for everything, but as he did, he was forced to stop halfway, entranced by her eyes, those beautiful hazel eyes. He was back in the hospital room, waking to the face to a stranger, a stranger with a face of perfection.

Billy's face was still so close to Layla's; her breath warm on his cheek, those eyes staring into his. And suddenly, without any thinking or hesitation, when Layla leaned in to kiss him, Billy met her lips halfway.

--

Serena laid her head on the table, wanting to sleep and dream of good tomorrows, but she couldn't close her eyes. All out of tears, out of smiles, she was emotionless. Could she ever have imagined things being like this on any other day? She would've thought it impossible. They were, in their own unique way, the best of friends. The kind angel and the devil in angel's clothing, staying together like "opposites attract" was a religion.

The way she became such a piece of evil was a strange story.

In the fifth grade, before she and Billy started talking, Serena found herself always staring at the little boy with that big smile, maybe showing off the loss of his last baby tooth, or celebrating the accomplishment of another peer. Either way, she was entranced by him, but had no idea how to approach him. Then, one day, the girl sitting next to her with a subtle lisp whispered in her ear, "Y'know, I hear Billy likes really mean, high maintenance girls.. he likes taking care of them and thinks that they're spunky."

The day after that, when Billy accidentally bumped into her in the hall, she screamed at him to watch where he was going and kicked him in the shin, and they were best friends ever since. Three years later, Serena bumped into her ol' rumor friend at the mall, who admitted that she was lying because she wanted Billy for herself. But it was too late; Serena: The Bitch Remix had become a second nature by that time, and it wouldn't rub away. Besides, it didn't seem to be a problem, because Billy was always there, by her side, ready and revvin' to take her abuse.

This made today so, so absolutely ironic. The one day that Serena found away to completely push away every single horrific thought and could only concentrate on helping Billy, that was finally the day that he couldn't take her anymore.

Maybe she deserved it.

While drowning in her thoughts, she heard the classroom door open. Half-hoping that it was the boy she was thinking about all this time, she shot out of her seat, "Bil--"

"Serena?" Tim asked. His head bowed a little, understanding that he wasn't the person she wasn't looking for.

"Oh, Upperclassman Avalon," she walked over to him to shake his hand. Instead, he gave her a friendly hug, "Serena, we're friends. You can call me Tim. So what are you doing here?"

She turned the question back on him, "What are you doing here?"

"I was helping out Ms. Richmond with papers, an-- Serena, have you been crying?"

"What?" Serena turned around, embarrassed, "Of course not.."

Tim took her by the shoulder and gently turned her around and asked her, "What did Billy do?"

"How did you..."

"I'm not stupid, Serena. I mean, seeing you just jump up at the idea of Billy at the door.. And seeing the state you're in.."

"He didn't.. it--," she struggled finding the words to say, "It's my fault, I.. He.. His dad.." It wasn't long until she realized that tears were streaming down her cheeks again, "No.. I-I don't want you to see me like this."

When trying to move around Tim to get away, he stopped her without moving a muscle, "Are you running away again?"

She span around, "What do you mean by that?!"

"That's what you do, apparently," Tim said, getting straight to the point before she could bolt out the door, "You run away from showing everyone the real you, you run away when Billy gets hurt.. You ran away to here. Are you going to run again to whatever place you can be alone, or are you going to find Billy and deal with whatever's wrong?"

"This isn't your business!"

"Why are you running away?!"

"Because I'm.. I'm.."

"So you really are running away. I can't believe you, Serena. Billy--"

"Billy?! He hates me. ..Whatever, it doesn't matter anymore."

"I've never heard something so stupid in my life. He loves you. You're his best friend, you're his everything! I can't believe that you'd even consider that he hates you. He'd cut off his arm for you. He'd die for you, I'd bet. Go to him, Serena. If you're going to run away from anyone, don't let it be Billy. If anything, you should be running to him."

Serena opened her mouth to say something, but the words wouldn't come out.

"Go to him."

"Tim.."

He repeated, this time with such a sympathetic and genuinely kind smile that for a moment, Serena felt like everything was going to be okay, "Go to him, Serena."

"Thank you, Tim," she said, opened the door, and ran down the hall as quickly as she could, never turning back. This time, not running away, but running towards her inspiration, her best friend.. Billy.

Whatever lied at the finish line, if nothing else, she just wanted to see him again and try to fix everything. Whether this ended in tears of joy or utter sorrow, it didn't matter.

The only person that mattered now was Billy.