Left alone, nowhere to run
nothing to help me can be done.
Fair weather friends trying half-heartedly to care,
with me, their feelings they will never share
I do not cry, I do not show I am weak
on the outside I'm rough and strict, on the inside I'm quiet and meek.
Boys confusing me more each day
won't ease the pain I am trying to make go away.
I stay on my life's path not wanting to stray
would a shortcut ease my suffering? It may....
I don't change for anyone, but for everyone
I want them to be happy; help in one's life has been left undone.
At one point, I try not to care; I am mean, and violent
the voices inside, telling me this is wrong are silent.
Not even they care if I am by myself
they do not care if this even affects my health.
I seem to study people, and things like death do not bother me
and trying to help people is the way I must be.
Why is it I am like this? I can't even figure myself out
and that's no frickin' reason for me to sit there and pout.
I'm a devil, an angel, and everything in between,
these mood swings make me want to frickin' scream.
I can't change myself, I am who I am
but who am I? my conscious self is alone somewhere, buried in the sand.
I will not succumb to these feelings without a fight
I will not give in, I know how I feel is not right.
Bring my life, or bring my death, I am ready
I hold my ground with my head held high, and my hands steady.
I will win every fight life throws me
I will overcome, and succeed, you will see.
This battle, I am fighting myself, so let me begin
I will fight, and I will win.
Which side of me will I lose, good or bad?
Whichever side wins, I hope it won't keep me so sad.
You think I'm crazy? You just wait....
after this, myself I will no longer hate.