The depression sinks in, I want to be alone the fear is rising

My heart is racing, I can't stop breathing so heavily

Why do I go through with this, I wish it could all be done

Im so afraid of not having control. Im so afraid of not having her.

Why do I let this water rise above my head...

And I can't think, I can't hurt, I must push it all away.

I must shut my eyes and not let my anger rise.

It's so hard to control.

This is gun is shaking in my hands, I want to end it all.

My sweat is dripping. Shirt drenched. Its like rain off my head.

It takes so long to push my pain away.

And I can't think. I can't feel. I have to push it all away again.

I must shut myself out and not let my pain show through.

But its so hard.

So very hard.