A/N: Okay. This is the edited version. Version 2.5. By the way, if you don't understand some of the Japanese phrases and such, please scroll down to the end. Please tell me if I left some of them out. E-mail it to: battousai_24@yahoo.com, or include in your review if you wish to do so. Anyway, please R&R.

Comedy For No One by battousai24 and kido

Li was forlorn. Chi was having love problems. Chris was going insane, while Rei was... Well, he has an affair with his homeroom teacher. They were all having lunch in the cafeteria.

"Hey, you guys are so boring!" exclaimed Chris, eliciting no response from the three.

Chris glared. He suddenly produced a knife out of nowhere and stuck it on the table barely missing Rei's finger. Everyone shuddered as Chris laughed insanely.

Chi sighed and patted Chris on the head and said, "I know how you feel..."

"What do you know about how I feel? You're not insane, you're lovesick!"

"That's the fuckin' point! I'm lovesick 'coz I'm insane!" Chi shouted.

Rei coughed. Chris and Chi stared at Rei.

"I believe this is yours, Chris," Rei said holding up the knife pointing it directly to both of them.

Rei suddenly threw the knife barely missing Chris and Chi's face.

Chi glared at him and said, "Grr. Omae wo korosu. Taku mou. How dare you hit my beautiful face?!"

Chi was getting ready to fight Rei and Rei was too when suddenly a shoe came flying towards Chi's face.

"Oro? Orooo~" Chi mumbled with swirly eyes before fainting.

Chris fainted along with him, thinking he was hit, and falling on top of Chi, furthering the damage on the puny thing. Li suddenly stood and poked Chi.

"Oh, did I hit you.? I'm sorry. I thought you were a cockroach."

Rei patted Li on his back and congratulated him.

"Omedeto! Omedeto!"

After savoring their triumph, Rei and Li brought the unconscious Chris and Chi to the school's clinic.

As they both waited for their unconscious friends to awaken, Rei asked Li, "Why did Chris faint along with Chi? You didn't hit him, right?"

Li sniffed his armpit and said to Rei, "I took a bath this morning."

Rei sweatdropped.

Meanwhile, at the cafeteria, a group of girls were talking.

"Don't you think they're cute?" Kate asked Mia and Genevieve.

"Huh? Who?" her friend asked innocently.

"Rei and Chi! Who else?" Kate told her with dreamy eyes.

"Huh? Yeah. They're cute," Genevieve agreed.

Mia nodded slightly.

"Yeah. Especially Chi," she said and smiled.

"Ooh. Mia's got a little crush! Never knew you were capable of it. I mean, you're quiet and. you know," Kate said.

"How mean. But wait. Isn't Chi your friend?" Genevieve asked.

"Yes, we've been friends since forever," she replied.

Another friend of theirs overheard the three's conversation.

"What are you saying? Li's cuter than them! I mean, at least he's not either really tall or really short," Rikka argued.

The other two girls glared at her but Mia just looked at her quietly.

"What? How dare you say Rei's super tall?! And how dare you say Chi's small! I admit, he is, but still he's cute. Just like Rei," Kate shouted.

"Well, Chris is the cutest. At least he's normal in height not like Rei and Chi and at least he's not like he's in outer space like Li!" Therese joined in.

Kate, Genevieve, and Rikka glared at Therese this time and said altogether, "Well, at least they're not insane!"

Therese sweatdropped.

"Yeah, I admit that, but still. He's better," she said once more.

"You mean he's childish and insane?" Genevieve asked sarcastically.

The arguments went on and on.

Chi slowly opened his eyes. He saw Rei and Li sitting near his and Chris's bed. Chris was still unconscious. Chi remembered what happened and jumped off the bed and stood in front of his two other friends. He got his katana out of nowhere and pointed it at both his friends.

"Rei! How dare you hit my face! Li! You too! And your shoes stink!" Chi exclaimed.

Chi was about to slash his friends when he slipped. Rei and Li sweatdropped. The katana flew out of his hands and landed on Chris's bed. All three of them stared blankly at Chris.

"Is he. dead?" Rei asked.

"I dunno," Li replied.

They both turned to Chi.

"You killed him!" they both said.

They grabbed Chi and started choking him when a nurse came.

"Stop that! You'll kill him," she said.

Rei and Li put Chi down.

"Thanks," Chi said to the nurse but she just smiled.

She noticed the katana on the bed. She walked over to it and pulled it out and gave it back to Chi. Suddenly, the figure on the bed stirred. Chi, Rei and Li stared at it. As it sat up on the bed, it looked at them with a raised eyebrow.

"You're not dead?" Chi asked Chris.

Chris threw him a shoe.

"Of course not!" he shouted.

Chi growled at him and said, "Stop hitting my face with shoes!"

The four friends got out of the clinic and went back to the cafeteria.

The five girls stared as Chi, Chris, Rei and Li entered the cafeteria once again. Chi had a band-aid on his cheek like Chris except that Chris had it on the other side of his face.

"Taku mou. now I'd have to face all these people with something on my face! Grr."

Chi growled at Rei.

"Shut up and stop growling like a tiger!" Rei shouted and hit his head.

"Itai... you hit me again! How dare you?!"

Chi hit Rei back. They started hitting each other when Chi stopped and brought out his katana once more.

"How dare you hit me so much?! Korosu yo!" Chi slipped again.

Chris, Rei and Li sweatdropped.

"Uh. can you like stop slipping while you're holding your katana? Coz you might, like, hurt somebody," Li said.

Chi glared at him and growled once again.

"I already hurt myself, dammit!"

"That's my point," Li replied.

All the girls in the cafeteria looked at the foursome. They started talking about how cute or handsome they were. The four friends looked at each other questioningly and continued to walk on. Chi saw Mia at a table with her friends and dragged his friends with him. They stood in front of the table while the girls at the table were almost drooling over them. Chi smiled and said hi. Chris, Li and Rei said hi too. All the other girls in the place were glaring at the five. Chi raised an eyebrow at the girls.

"Uhm, hey. Can I talk to Mia for a while? I have to tell her something."

Kate and Genevieve glared with envy at Mia. She stood up and walked over to Chi. They talked a little further away from the people.

"What is it, Chi?" Mia asked softly.

"Uhm, nothing much. Just that your mom called me on my cellphone before we got here to tell you she and your dad would come home late. She told me to just give you a lift home," Chi replied.

She blushed and said, "Sorry about that. My mom's just - "

Chi didn't let her finish.

"Don't worry. It's okay. No prob. We're friends after all."

She smiled.

"But, what about your friends? I mean, you just ride with Rei, right?"

"Yeah. But I brought my car today so I could just drive you," he replied.

The two walked back to the others. Mia sat back down and Chi went with his friends.

Rei looked at his watch and said, "Hey, sorry girls, but we gotta go. Next class will start soon. Bye."

Rei started to walk away.

Chris then said, "Yup! Baibai!"

Smiling, he too, walked away. Li walked away with him without a word. Chi was left behind.

"Well, see you later, Mia. Ja."

Waving his hand, he ran toward his friends and finally left.

"Hey, Mia. What did he talk to you about?" Kate asked curiously.

"Yeah. I envy you. One of the coolest guys in school is your friend," Genevieve added.

Mia sighed.

"He just told me that my mom called him up awhile ago to tell him to give me a lift home since she wouldn't be able to pick me up. They'd come home late."

Genevieve and Kate lit up.

"Wow! Hey, is there by any chance that you could let us ride with you?" they said.

"Well, I'll try," she replied.

"Really? You're riding home with him?" Rikka and Therese cut in.

Mia nodded.

"Hey, you know his friends right? And they know you?"

Mia nodded again.

"Can you introduce me?" Rikka asked.

"Me too," Therese, Genevieve and Kate added.

Mia sweatdropped and nodded.

Rei sat in class with his three other friends.

"Oi, Rei."

It was Chi. Rei looked at his friend.


"Don't you think the class is boring?"

"It's always boring, Chi," Rei said with a sigh.

They were all waiting for the teacher. Chi had an idea.

"Hey, Rei. Why don't we just skip class today?"

"Hmm. Okay," Rei agreed.

Chi passed a note to Chris and Li about it too. They all agreed and left the classroom without anyone noticing. They hid in the bathroom as a teacher passed the hall.

After a while, knowing it's now safe, they sneaked out of the bathroom and reached the door, which was holding them prisoner in school. Before they could even touch it, someone spoke.

"What are the four of you doing here?"

It was their homeroom teacher. The foursome stared wide-eyed at her. None of them answered her question.

"I said, what are the four of you doing?" she repeated.

"I. Uhm. We." Chi could only stutter.

"What did you say? I couldn't hear."


*Note: I used some Japanese words. Here are their meanings.

'Omae wo korosu'/'Korosu yo' = I will kill you

'Taku mou.' = Damn (and the like)

'Oro?' (and the like) is just a 'confused' expression from the anime, Rurouni Kenshin.

'Omedetou'/'Omedeto' = Congratulations (and the like)

'Itai' = Ouch

'Katana' = Japanese sword/Samurai sword

'Ja' = Bye

'Oi' = Hey