Driven

***

End this if you can.
I need a better plan.
This went on too long.
Please, someone...
Won't you turn me off?

I need to dispose of my mind.
Kill this and save my life.
I need to extract these thoughts.
Please, someone...
Won't you turn me off?

It's not coming out.
It's leaking too slowly.
It's not coming off.
It's starting to own me.

It won't go away.
I need it gone quickly.
I cannot have this.
It's starting to drive me.

I tried to force it out; I can't.
I tried not to cut deeper in.
I had hoped, one day it would leave.
One day, I would cease to be me.

I kept myself up so many nights.
Crazy and distant thoughts crossed my mind.
One day, I would be free.
One day, I would cease to be me.

It's not coming out.
It's leaking too slowly.
It's not coming off.
It's starting to own me.

It won't go away.
I need it gone quickly.
I cannot have this.
It's starting to drive me.

("To feel contempt for one's own motivations is a vulgar thing."*)
It's starting to drive me.
("So extraneous---I hope to be as cold as the moon that lights this page."*)
It's starting to drive me.

It's not coming out.
It's leaking too slowly.
It's not coming off.
It's starting to own me.

It won't go away.
I need it gone quickly.
I cannot have this.
It's starting to drive me.

Turn me off. Turn me off.
Pull my plug. Self-destruct.
Turn me off. Turn me off.
So extraneous.
Turn me off.
___
*Quotes to be whispered in the background and stolen from JtHM issue seven. Don't sue me, Jhonen! xD