I Wonder

I wonder what it would be like to fall.

I wonder what it would be like to fly.

To finally be the crow I've told everyone I am. To admit everything to the world.

Falling, flying, dying.

I wonder what it is to die. To find the cold ground stopping my flight.

I wonder if the fall will hurt. But then, everything does. To be the crow, to be the wind. To wear the mask, to keep it night and day.

It all hurts.

But why should I fly? I've buried myself so deep in my lies, maybe it's enough will shield me from the world.

But then, there's the freedom. The terrible freedom of flight. Even if it only lasts a moment, it's still freedom. Freedom at last from the pretence, my past, the lies, my mask.

To recklessly hurtle, wings closed, like the seagull; But never pulling out of the dive. Never soaring back to the heavens. Ever falling.

I wonder what it would be like to truly release myself from my shackles I have created.

But then, it's me.

What do you expect? 29/04/04

Author's note: did this one at school, well. most of it. It was very very strange. I was up on the seventh level and I was the only one in the classroom, and then I just had this urge to jump out the window. Anyway, as you can see, I didn't. So then this story/poem/thing was created. *shrug* that's the story to this. piece. ~Karasu