I see how much I mean to you
And would love you that strong and true
If only I could tell my heart what to do

Damn this mortal frame
Damn my lack of shame
Damn my inability to blame
My heart for what I do to you
Because what I say is true

Seeing you suffering alone
I take my head in my hands and groan
Why must I cause you so much pain?
Why must I drive myself insane?

I...
Don't need me, but you do
Don't feel me, but you do
Don't love me, but you do
And I've taken that away from you

I curse my truant heart
For I have forsaken you
I hear the suffering welling up in your voice again
And I curse how the truth has caused you such pain

In your hour of need
You heart I feed
The worms of the grave

I see the hate I know I should feel for myself
It lingers just out of reach
I want to teach
Myself a lesson
I see the pain I should feel inside
But it is hidden in a world of mirrors
Reflecting your face
Just out of reach
Your tears
Your worst fears
All come alive in me
Why did I come to be?
For this?
For your misery?

With the questions comes the pain
And I give thanks as the void does drain
Beginning to feel tears well up inside this vessel of skin and sin
But then sadness slips away again
And I curse the lack of Guilt for my sin
Brother Blame,
Sister Shame,
Where are you?
Come to me now!
I don't want you to suffer alone!

Because you are,
Alone.

Because of the truth of what I feel,
The lie I could not live

I told you the truth and shattered the lie,
You didn't deserve this.

04/29/2004