This is the only humor poem I have ever written, and it is either truly
inspired or really, really bad. Often there is a fine line, you know. I
really would like to find out which it is, so if you would please review
this honestly I would appreciate it.
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Sure, I like apples.
What's not to like about apples?
Except they fall
Down onto my head
Whenever I'm below them.
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And when they are thrown
At my head they hurt.
I guess sometimes they can be pulverized
And left on the ground,
And then if I stepped on them I'd slip and fall down.
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And if a giant dinosaur that only ate apples
Was running through the city,
And I was stuck in a big pile of apples,
The dinosaur might eat me on accident.
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Sometimes apple juice might get on your shirt,
And it might be stained forever.
But probably not, since
Apple juice is transparent anyway.
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But what if there was one giant apple
Underneath the ocean,
And one day it rose up
Out of the water?
All the waves would crush our homes,
Our cities would be destroyed
In a tidal wave of death
And apple juice.
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And then when the apple was suspended in the sky,
All the people in the mountains would look up and see it.
They would say to themselves, "Now that
Is an apple!"
And they would stare at it until
The image was burned into their eyes
And they could no longer see anything at all,
Except apples.