Welcome To Planet Earth

By:Andrew Troy Keller

It has been quite some time since I've last laid my eyes upon her radiant beauty,just before that enormous space vehicle from another world had dared to take her away from me.

But of course,I'm getting ahead of myself.First,allow me to introduce you to Jonathan Pitt,who just happens to be me--and second,the beautiful woman that I was talking about was a Kirsten Dunst type beauty named Julia Depp,who was my fiancee.

But that was before April the 30th,in which I had to fly over to a private island retreat of my good friend,Doctor George Williams,who was trying to make contact with some form of extraterestrial life in the universe--and I've suggessted to Julia that it'll be fun for us to celebrate her birthday on that very same island.

After she had said 'yes' to the idea,we had chartered a plane and flew to the island,where we had landed on its very own airfield and were welcomed with open arms by George,who had suddenly became so excited over his latest achivement.

And after we had walked into his lab,we had noticed that he had actually done it--he had made contact with an alien spacecraft that has been orbiting the red planet known as Mars for many years.

Then,after George had invited them to come to our planet and visit us on friendly terms,we were truly surprised to discover that they had accepted his invitation.

Just then,a few minutes later,after we had ran out of the lab with a large banner that had said,"WELCOME TO PLANET EARTH,GOOD FRIENDS!",the large craft that had orbited Mars for quite some time has finally arrived and landed next to the beach house.

And after the ship had opened itself up and allowed a couple of its crew members to step out and walk towards us,George had held out his hand,let out a big smile and said,"Welcome,my newfound friends.Is there anything you need from us?"

But then,after they had nodded their heads,one of those outer space demons had pulled out a gun and shot some sort of gas at us,causing us to want to go asleep.

And even though the effects of the sleep gas were terribly overwhelming,I was able to stay awake long enough to see those extraterestrial monsters carry my beloved Julia's sleeping body back into the spacecraft and zoom back up into deep space.

Ever since that dreadful day,I've spent every waking moment waiting for the chance to zoom up into the cosmos and go look for the one planet that has gotten my darling Julia on it--and today just happens to be that day,for I'm aboard the starship known as the USS Warhawk,one of the Star Corps' finest ships in its whole entire Stellar Fleet.

We're coming to save you,Julia--and blast them straight to Hell!