Before you begin reading this, allow me to explain a few things. A few days ago, my parents decided that the amount of time I could spend on the computer or TV would be proportional to the amount of time I spent writing each day. The catch was that I had to also review my writing. I decided that posting on Fiction Press.net might be a good way to find constructive criticism of my writing, so I've started a writing journal of sorts. I'd like to post something new once every week. My stories probably won't have any connection to each other. Let me apologize in advance if Fiction Press.net does not allow this. I'm not sure I completely understand the rules here.
Anyways long story short: I'd really like constructive criticism of my work. Anything you think I could improve (spelling, grammar, word choice, characterization, etc,) would be useful. I don't mind harsh critiques, just useless ones. Feel free to point out any errors in the text. Thank you! ~napthia9

Story 1#: Wind on a Hot Day
It was a hot day. A young girl sprawled on her driveway, basking in the sun's rays. The long black surface gathered heat like a teenaged girl collects glittery makeup. Several gusts of wind came rolling down the street, tugging at her hair and loose T-shirt.
The girl closed her eyes as the fresh breeze passed by. Her mother's wind chimes were jangling disharmoniously, and she could hear the cheeps and twitters of birds in the background. Another warm wind passed by. To the sleepy child, it felt wonderfully relaxing.
The sound of a slow-moving car startled her out of her daydreams. She propped herself up, and glanced anxiously for the automotive. The culprit was a light blue mini-van turning the street corner. Assured that noone wanted to pull into the driveway, the little girl settled back into her original position. Her relaxed state of mind did not return as quickly.
For a few minutes, the brown-haired girl lay fidgeting in silence. After several more uncomfortable moments, the young girl clambered to her feet and slowly trudged indoors. As the screen door closed behind the child, another sudden burst of wind blew it open again, and it swung shut again with a loud bang.