Out Takes From Death By Presents
Authors Note: ::Gets hit by random lightning bolt of inspiration:: AHA!!
Lots of sugar, hyperness, and orange soda went into this one. Beware. These
charries are mine, yada yada . . . Now, read on! It's almost as good at the
original. Almost.
Director: Scene One. Take three! ::Clicks clicky thing::
Narrator: Here we find the GOTU Gang on Christmas Eve. Even though it is a
'Holy Night', all hell seems to have broken loose. Everyone is trying to
outdo each other. You can find Myila and Aliasa bringing in their presents
for Xantos on cranes and forkli - Oh . . . Not AGAIN!
(Forklift breaks down, dumping Myila's present on an unfortunate
crewmember.)
*
Director: Scene Three. Take 1! ::Clicks clicky thing::
Narrator: Darin and Gareth are opening their mysterious present from the
Author.
Darin: What's this?
Gareth: The . . . GOTU BACHELOR??
Narrator: Uh . . . Guys . . . Psst . . . That's the wrong present. That's
not from the author . . . Psst!
(Darin and Gareth read on anyways)
Darin: Hey, why weren't we invited to be on the show
Gareth: Yea! We'd be a much better choice than "Aycaliana"!
Narrator: Guys . . . Um . . . Well, I dunno . . .
Gareth: (To Darin) Did you know Aycan was gay?
Darin: Nope. Lets go make him a "Welcome to the Club" Card.
Gareth: Hmm . . . I wish I had been on the show.
Darin: Yea . . . I wouldn't mind going out with Xantos sometime . . .
*
Director: Scene 4. Take 1! ::Clicks clicky thing::
Narrator: Here we find Aycan. Despite his hard exterior, he has quite a
substantial Christmas Spirit.
Aycan: ::sobs:: I know! Every time I watch "Frosty the Snowman" I just
start crying, and crying, and crying . . . ::bawls::
All Cast and Crew: . . . .
Evil Andy: WTF!! Aycan! Get your sexy ass in gear! ::begins to kick the
crap out of Aycan::
*
Director: Scene 4. Take 2! ::Clicks clicky thing::
Narrator: We're back. We're fine -
Xantos: ::pops head in:: And I'm still sexy!!
Myila: You know it!
Darin: ::hands Xantos a copy of the GOTU Bachelor:: Well, you're not too
sexy in here. Just constipated.
Xantos: ::Grabs and reads:: WHAT?!??! ::Throws the GOTU-B down:: My agent
is gonna have something to say about this! ::Stalks off::
*
Director: Scene 4! Take 3! ::clicks clicky thing::
Narrator: Here we find Aycan. Despite his hard exterior, he has quite a
substantial Christmas Spirit.
Aycan: I need to have a talk with the Author. I'll show her Christmas
Spirit! ::evil grin::
Author: ::Secretly writes up a sign reading: Look! I'm on Ritalin! And
sticks it on Aycan's back::
Narrator: No, Aycan is NOT on Ritalin.
Aycan: Duh. What makes you think that?
*

Director: Scene 4! Take 4! ::clicks clicky thing::
Narrator: Here we find Aycan. Despite his hard exterior, he has quite a
substantial Christmas Spirit.
Aycan: I need to have a talk with the Author. I'll show her Christmas
Spirit! ::evil grin::
Author: ::Secretly writes up a sign reading: Kick me, and I'll kick you,
only harder. And sticks it on Aycan's back::
Narrator: Hey, that's pretty good!
Author: ::bows::
Aycan: What?
*

Director: Scene 4! Take 5! ::clicks clicky thing::
Narrator: Here we find Aycan. Despite his hard exterior, he has quite a
substantial Christmas Spirit.
Aycan: I need to have a talk with the Author. I'll show her Christmas
Spirit! ::evil grin::
Author: ::Secretly writes up a sign reading: I'm Gay. Can you tell? And
sticks it on Aycan's back::
Narrator: ::Slowly inches away::
*

Director: Scene 4! Take 6! ::clicks clicky thing::
Narrator: Here we find Aycan. Despite his hard exterior, he has quite a
substantial Christmas Spirit.
Aycan: I need to have a talk with the Author. I'll show her Christmas
Spirit! ::evil grin::
Author: ::Secretly writes up a sign reading: Do I have a sexy ass, yes or
no? Call 555-6234. And sticks it on Aycan's butt::
Aycan: ::Finally notices that he has been plastered with signs. Takes sign
off and reads it:: What? That's not my phone number! ::grabs pen, scribbles
out phone number and writes his own ((For the protection of our characters,
we shall not print the phone number)). And sticks it back on::
*
Director: Scene 4! Take 7! ::clicks clicky thing::
Narrator: Here we find Aycan. Despite his hard exterior, he has quite a
substantial Christmas Spirit.
Aycan: I need to have a talk with the Author. I'll show her Christmas
Spirit! ::evil grin::
Author: ::Secretly writes up a sign reading: Are you getting sick of this
already? And sticks it on Aycan's back::
Everyone: YES!!
*
Director: Scene 4 Take 9! ::clicks clicky thing::
Narrator: Meanwhile . . .
Myila: ::spots Xantos and Aliasa. Gasps and stomps towards him with the
intention of stealing him:: Hey Xantos!
Xantos: Hi Myila! I have present for you too! ::hands present:: I have a
present for you too!
Myila: ::Gasps:: You have a present for me too?
Xantos: Yes, I have a present for you too!
Aliasa: What about me?
Xantos: I have a present for you, too! ::points:: I have a present for you,
too!
Aliasa: I have a present for you, too! ::hands:: I have a present for you,
too!
Xantos: Thank you! I have a present for you, too!
Myila: I WOULD have a present for you, too. But, it was dropped on an
unfortunate crewmember.
Xantos: That's okay. I have a present from Aliasa, too.
Myila: ::To Aliasa:: But, I got one from you, too!
Aliasa: And I got one from you, too!
Narrator: And so it goes, for many, many, moons.
*
Director: Scene 5. Take 1!
Aycan: ::chuckles evilly as he seals an envelope::
Narrator: What are you doing?
Aycan: ::looks around:: It's my present. To Xantos
Narrator: Wha?
Aycan: ::spots Xantos and walks over to him:: Xantos! I would be deeply
obliged if you would accept this Christmas card.
Xantos: ::eyes widen:: Um, thanks, but I-
Aycan: ::puts arm around Xantos's shoulder:: But I would be hurt if you
didn't accept it!
Xantos: ::looks nervously at Aycan's arm:: Well, if you put it that way . .
. ::takes card::
Aycan: Steps back and grins::
Xantos: ::opens card:: Hmm . . . Will you marry me?
Aycan: WHAT?!?!?
Xantos: I'm sorry Aycan, but I just don't feel that way about you.
Aycan: MORON!! ::snatches the card from his hands:: That's my proposal card
to Aliasa!
Xantos: ::singsong:: Oooh! Aycan and Aliasa sittin' in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-
G!
Aycan: ::Blush:: I remember that. . . .
Xantos: Oh, that's right, you two were going out, right?
Aycan: Yea . .
Xantos: But you broke up.
Aycan: ::eyes water:: Yea . . . ::bursts into tears::
Xantos: ::Pats his back:: Come now, it's all right. Perhaps she wasn't the
one . . .
*
Director: Scene 7. Take 1!
Xantos: ::walks towards Aliasa and Myila, trips over a present and knocks
over the Christmas tree::
Narrator: The Guardians used candles, instead of lights to decorate their
tree. Thus, Xantos . . . . Starts himself on fire!
Xantos: ::runs around the house screaming::
Sermont: ::Trips Xantos to make him stop:: Um . . . Xantos. You're a
freakin' water mage. PUT THE FIRE OUT!
Xantos: Or, I could do that.
Narrator: ::suddenly morphs into a demented Asian man who doesn't speak
English well, trying to be a gangsta:: Lets hear it for Xantos! The Epitome
of Stupidity. Yo yo!
Evil Andy: ::Cracks up::
*
Director: Scene 8. Take 2! ::clicks clicky thing::
Serina: ::walks up behind Aycan:: Ooh! Cookies! ::Eats "Aycan"::
Aycan: You . . . you . . You ATE me!
Serina: ::sexy voice:: Oh yes. And you tasted soo good.
Everyone: . . .
Evil Andy and Moroni: EEEEEWWWW!!!
*
Song: ::doesn't realize that the author is writing about her:: Hey, don't
look at me, I'm Jewish.
*
Director: Scene 9. Take 3! ::clicks clicky thing::
Luna: I'm so glad you -- ::passes out::
Citeron: ::sighs and picks her up::
Aycan: ::turns up the bass on the Christmas song: "Silent Night". He turns
it up so loud, it creates a random fissure ((A very rare event that only
exists in the very depths of Moroni's and Evil Andy's dements fics)) right
in front of Citeron::
Citeron: ::Can't see where he is going, and thusly falls into the fissure::
Xantos: Noo! I can't afford to loose any guy friends! ::jumps into the
fissure::
Myila: Noo! Xantos ::jumps into the fissure
Everyone else: ::shrug. Jumps into the fissure::
Aycan: I shall rule! Yee!
Evil Andy: ::suddenly appears:: What's with you being such a wuss about
breaking up with Aliasa! ::starts to beat the crap out of Aycan. They end
up both falling in the fissure::
Moroni: Noo! Andy! I need you! Without you there would be no "I'm Kirona
and I'm High" Sound effects! ::jumps in fissure::
Silence
Director: Aliasa, You're the only one who didn't jump in.
Aliasa: Even the narrator did?
Director: Yep. Would you pull them out with your crane?
Aliasa: No, I like the silence.
Director: But we need them to finish the story. Otherwise, you can't go
home.
Aliasa: Oh . . . Fine. Besides! There's nothing hotter than rescue sex!
Director: . . . Just do it.
Aliasa: Fine.
*
Director: Scene 11. Take 1! ::clicks clicky thing::
Narrator: When all was abed (Alone or otherwise. Remember Aliasa's comment
~. ^), Santa Clause snuck down the chimney leaving gifts for all (Except
for Aycan. He's been a baaad, baaad boy. If you catch my meaning. ~. ^).
When he finished, he somehow managed to squeeze his girth back up the
chimney. On the roof, a jolly voice could be heard.
Santa: . . . .
Narrator: ::pokes sleeping Santa:: Yo. Santa. That's your queue.
Santa: ::Wakes with a start:: Wha? Huh? Oh yea! Go. ::nothing happens:: GO!
::nothing happens:: GO! DAMMIT! ::The reindeer take off, nearly giving
Santa whiplash::
*
Happy Bloopers!
~Nika-Chan~