Authors Notes: - Elwyn is the kind of buzz kills. Teh king.
"Rat-Boy to Fuzzy Kitten, Rat-Boy to Fuzzy Kitten, do you read me? Over." David whispered loudly into his hand which was cupped as if holding a radio transmitter. He altered his voice to mimic the sound of it through a walky-talky.
"I read you Rat-Boy. Over." Lilly responded, barely holding back a giggle.
David was kneeling behind the couch, miming holding a hand gun and looking around the living room dramatically. Lilly in the kitchen, peering in over the counter. Still standing near the door was a confused looking Nickodamous and Bella. The two watched their companions in amazement.
Sitting behind David, on the couch was Elwyn. He had a long suffering expression and was loosely holding a news paper in his hands as he stared off into space, waiting for them to finish whatever game they'd started. Sitting next to him, looking rapidly from one guest to the next was Garm, who looked about to burst with joy. His tail wagged franticly, beating against the couch cushions happily.
"The target is in sight. Over." Lilly said, staring intently at her father.
"Have you detected any hostile activity? Over." David asked, scooting forward slowly until he arrived at the edge of the couch.
"Yes, I see a guard dog. Over." Lilly answered, looking to Garm who was now squirming with effort to stay put.
"Shall we proceed as planned? Over." David said, slowly starting to lift his head.
"I'll cover you Rat-Boy. Over." Lilly replied, holding up her own 'gun'.
"I'm moving out! Over!" David jumped up and brought his hands around to aim his 'gun' at Elwyn. Garm jumped over the back of the couch and landed on him, knocking him on his back. As soon as they hit the ground Garm began licking his face enthusiastically. David let out a yelp and flailed. "I'm hit! I'm hit!"
"I'm coming Rat-Boy!" Lilly exclaimed, rolling into the living room. She overshot and ended up bumping into Elwyn's coffee table, almost spilling his coffee. He reached over and picked up the cup and stared down at her.
"Hi Dad." She giggled, looking up at him from the floor.
"Oh god! I'm not going to make it! Tell my wife and kids I loved them!!" David howled from behind the couch, still in his death throws.
"What the hell are you two doing?" Elwyn asked patiently, glancing over his shoulder at his dog and David.
"We were trying to sneak attack you." Lilly said with a small shrug.
"Sneak attack me?" He raised an elegant eyebrow to his daughter.
"The light! it's so, beautiful!" David said weakly, reaching around Garm and pawing at the ceiling.
Bella walked over and kicked him in the side. "Will you cut it out!"
"Ow! The light… it hurts… my ribs?" David moaned.
"Garm, off." Elwyn ordered softly. The massive dog gave David one last lick, hopped off him and climbed back onto the couch next to his master.
"Get up." Bella snapped at David.
David shuddered dramatically, flailed his limbs and went limp with a loud gurgling groan. After a few moments of no one staying or doing anything David cracked his eyes open and looked up at Bella. Out of the side of his mouth he said: "I think you'll have to give me mouth to mouth."
Bella knelt down, reached her hand under the back of his head and leaned close to him. She smiled sweetly and said: "I'd sooner give Garm CPR." Lifting his head up and let go abruptly, causing him to hit his head on the ground.
"Ow! That wasn't nice!" David protested, giving her a deeply wounded look.
"It's a miracle! You're alive!" Nickodamous proclaimed tearfully, rushing over to David. He scooped up the skinny young man and hugged him tightly. David flopped in his arms like a rag doll and cried out in protest.
"Why has everyone gone mad?" Elwyn asked as he looked at everyone. Then he became confused. "And why do you all have short hair?"
Nickodamous dropped David who let out a feeble yelp as he hit the floor. The big demon stuck out his arm, showing off his collection of braids. "I'm collecting hair for bald children!"
Elwyn stared at him. For a very long time. His expression frozen into one of mixed confusion and trepidation. He took a sip of coffee and said dramatically: "What the hell?"
Lilly crawled onto the couch between her father and Garm. As soon as she was settled in the big dog flopped across her lap and part of Elwyn's. She grunted and began to stroke his head, playing her fingers through his long wavy fur. While she petted him she turned to her father and said: "It's for Locks of Love, which is an organization that makes wigs from donated hair for under privileged children suffering from a disease or treatment that causes them to loose their hair."
"We're all donating our hair." Nickodamous said proudly, wiggling the mass of hair dangling from his hand.
"Let me guess, you're trying to get me to join you in this mad quest?" Elwyn asked dryly, staring at the big man.
"Please Elwyn?" Nickodamous begged. "When do I ever ask you for anything?"
"Never and now I'm grateful for that." Elwyn retorted darkly.
"Come on Dad, please?" Lilly asked, sliding down the side of the couch and resting her head against his shoulder.
"I can't believe you went along with this insanity." Elwyn remarked to his other daughter Bella.
She shrugged and walked around to the other end of the couch and sat on the arm of it. "I figured: why not?"
"I hope to God Donovan hasn't seen your head yet." Elwyn said over his shoulder to David, who was still lying on the floor.
"Actually he has." David said, popping back to his feet like a cheerful jack-in-the-box.
"He took it well?" He marveled.
"Actually he didn't seem very happy." Nickodamous said guiltily. "I think he was really mad with me."
"Of course, the beauty around him is almost as important to him as his own personal looks." Elwyn chided the demon.
"You think my hair was beautiful too?" David asked, leaning over the back of the couch and staring at Elwyn tearfully.
"Not as beautiful as mine." Elwyn snapped, palming the young's man face and pushing him off the couch.
David stumbled back and stood upright. "Then share the beauty! Give to a needy bald kid!"
"Feh, looks to me like you already have enough hair." Elwyn sneered, opening the news paper back up.
"But there are thousands of children who need hair!" Nickodamous protested and fumbled for the picture he had in his pocket. By the time he had it out Elwyn was ignoring him and reading the paper. "Aww, come on! Just look at her!"
"You're only refusing because you know it'll tug at your heart strings." Nickodamous said stubbornly, moving closer, holding the picture out.
"Dad." Lilly whispered kissing his cheek. "Please?"
He sighed heavily and turned his head. "Fine."
Nickodamous handed him the picture and Elwyn reluctantly took it. He examined the little girl then glanced up at the grinning demon. "This child is hideous."
Everyone groaned, even Bella let out a small one of her own. Elwyn shoved the picture back to the crestfallen Nickodamous. "You know I don't like human children."
"What about Morragon?" David asked. "She's human?"
"She's my daughter. She doesn't count." Elwyn rejoined sharply. "Besides, hair or not she was far more adorable than that moppet."
"But she's dying! She has cancer!" Nickodamous insisted loudly, clutching the picture and braids to his chest. "We have to help her!"
"Then find a cure for cancer." Elwyn replied with a dismissive wave of his hand.
"But that could take years, she could be dead by then!" He argued.
"Then I suggest you get cracking." The abrasive Sidhe hissed and stubbornly continued trying to read the paper.
"I can't believe you're being so cold Dad!" Lilly said, pulling away from him. Garm followed her lead and scooted out of Elwyn's lap and fully into Lilly's.
"Yeah, they even got Donovan to cut his hair. I'm surprised at how much you're holding out." Bella admitted.
"Millions of children die everyday. I can't concern myself with the plight of every damned one of them." Elwyn explained gruffly.
Nickodamous looked close to tears at Elwyn's casual remark. David patted the big guy on the shoulder and gave Elwyn a stern look. "Ignore him, he's just a big meanie."
"Sorry to be so cold but I've never cut my hair a day in my life." Elwyn said, turning his head to regard the pitiful pair of men. "And need I remind you that I'm pushing two hundred?"
"So!? I'm a lot older than that and this was my first real haircut!" Nickodamous countered.
"Weren't you in the military?" David said puzzled. "I would figure you'd have to cut it then."
"Are you kidding me?" Elwyn snorted. "I'd look ridiculous with a buzz cut. I used glamour to hide my ears and hair you nitwit."
"Would you do it because you love me?" Lilly asked, tugging on her father's sleeve.
He sighed heavily and looked at her. While his eyes didn't give away anything there was a great deal of tightness around his lips. In a rare moment Bella slid onto the couch and wrapped her arms around her father's shoulders.
"Me to." She said giving him a squeeze.
Elwyn growled darkly and looked at David and Nickodamous like he was going to hurt them, badly. "I blame you two for this."
"We should find Morragon. She'd really complete the trap." David suggested, looking up at Nickodamous.
"Fine! Just get off of me!" Elwyn shouted, surging to his feet.
Lilly giggled and threw her arms around Bella. "Yay! We win!"
"Get off me." Bella snapped, pushing her sister off.
"Oo! Hug me! Hug me!" David said, jumping over the back of the couch and landing next to Lilly. She complied and hugged him tightly, still giggling.
Elwyn glared at the two and stormed into his bedroom. "I'll be right back."
"Remember! We need it in a braid!" Nickodamous yelled after him. "Tied on both ends to it doesn't come undone!"
He didn't answer and slammed the door shut behind him. Bella stared at the door for a moment then looked to Nickodamous. "What do you want to bet he's not coming out again?"
"Nah, he's a man of his word. He'll be back." Nickodamous said offhandedly with a shrug.
"I'm shocked he agreed." Bella said shaking her head.
"Come on, with the both of you pulling the love card?" David said snorting. "He didn't stand a chance."
"That's why we needed you both." Nickodamous said sagely nodding.
"I almost feel like I betrayed him." Bella sighed and brushed her fingers along the edge of her new short hair. "And I feel like an idiot with this short hair."
"I'll grow back." Lilly comforted her.
"Not as fast as yours." Bella grumbled. "Stupid shifters."
"True, we are hairy bastards." David remarked.
"Hairy?" Lilly laughed and pulled up David's shirt. He squeaked in surprise and tried to pull it back down. She laughed harder and rubbed his belly. "Nary a single hair on this chest!"
The bedroom door abruptly opened and everyone froze, looking over. Elwyn stepped out, his long midnight black hair braided tightly. In one had he carried a silver long sword and hummed softly with power and glowed slightly. He turned, lifted the sword and deftly cut off the braid. Everyone stared in dead silence as the dark braid crumpled to the floor. The gapped as Elwyn gave them all a cold proud look before he disappeared back into his bedroom. Garm wiggled off the couch and followed him into the bedroom this time. Elwyn waited until his dog was in before he firmly closed the door shut gain.
"Now I feel guilty." David mumbled.
"It's like a samurai cutting of his topknot." Lilly whimpered, looking sad as she stared at her fathers cast off hair.
"It's your fault." Bella said, pointing at Nickodamous.
"It's for the greater good." He responded, picking up the braid. "But still… I do feel a little bad now."
From inside his bedroom Elwyn snapped: "Now get the hell out of my apartment before I behead you demon!"
Nickodamous flinched and quickly rushed out of the apartment. David watched him go but was hot on his heels when a moment later Elwyn shouted: "You too Rat-Boy!"
"Yipes!" David proclaimed, scrambling out the door. Lilly and Bella slinked after the two men, not saying anything to each other or in parting to their father.
* * *