Fault and Failure

Am I my parents' child?
Sometimes you lead me to think
I am my mother's failure,
And I am my father's fault.

This is what I think.

Deep down you hate me,
You say "I love you"
Why do you keep lying?
You know it's not true.

Actions speak louder than words

So many times you scream in my face,
"Why can't you be like your brothers?"
"Or why can't you be our mindless drone?"
"Don't be yourself, you're not worth it!"

I come last, everyone else comes first

Don't feel bad,
Mom and dad
I'm not your son,
And I also know

I'm your fault and failure!

I never was your loved one,
Only in your words was I.
Never in life was I either,
Neither in my dreams as well.

Face the truth, admit you lied;
Nothing's the way it seemed,
So why do you keep up this lie?
Better if I never dreamed.

I'm just your follow-up,
And I'm just obsolete
There's 3 of us there's 2 of you,
Makes sense why I'm all alone.

You ask why my heart is black stone,
Own up to it, it's all your fault.

I'm just your son gone bad,
Not like you have to care,
Why am I always sad,
A fake smile to share?

You say to forgive and forget,
This is your philosophy.
To forgive some things I regret,
Some things I can't forgive.

I'm your fault and failure,
I'm not your son.

So many times I lie awake at night,
You give me a kiss goodnight,
And you say that you love me.
Do you think I'll believe you now?

No more lies, I want the truth.

Your apathy astounds me,
The love and care around friends,
It's all a big diluted fantasy
I want the pain to end.

I won't cave in, leave me alone.